Still trying for Baby #2 - 17 months later :(

[AshleyR]

Hey all,

I used to be a member of this forum back when I was pregnant with DD (baby #1!) She is now 3.5

We have been trying for Baby #2 for 17 months with no luck. I got pregnant on our third month trying with our daughter - I'm starting to get really upset that it's taking so long for the second.

I haven't been on birth control in over 10 years. My cycle is very regular (31 days), periods are short (3-4 days, pretty light), I "seem" to ovulate every month (according to the digital OPK's I take - they detect my LH surge on CD17/18 like clockwork). I've just had bloodwork done and the doctor says everything looks good. I'm scheduled for a transvaginal ultrasound in a few weeks, and DH is going for a sperm analysis.

The only thing that has changed in the last 4.5 years or so is that DH and I have both gained some weight. About 40 lbs each. We were already overweight to begin with (I am now about 270 lbs and he is about 370 lbs).
I've heard that being overweight can be a problem when TTC, but I guess because we were technically overweight when we got pregnant with #1, I don't truly believe that that is the problem? (Maybe I'm in denial?) Also, my doctor told me that if MY problem had to do with being overweight, my hormone levels would likely be a little screwy, and they are not. I am starting to believe that it may be DH that has the problem.....

Up until now I haven't let this bother me much, but lately it's starting to. DH and I are getting tired. TTC is seeming to become such a chore. We never have had a great sex life (I've had a low sex drive pretty much my entire life). To be honest, each month that I get that BFN I am part sad because I'm not pregnant, and part sad/dreadful that it means ANOTHER month of TTC. It is becoming so forced.... DH and I are both feeling it.

I guess I'll be posting here more for tips and support. Anything is appreciated. It's starting to get me down...

 

[tommyg]

Hi I don't really know if weight gain is the issue or not but if it has pushed your bmi over 30 then I would try and work on getting it down esp as fertility clinics do check and have limits on what they will accept. My NHS clinics limit was 30, private clinic is 40.

You didn't have a c-section did you? The scar can cause issues conceiving baby2.

 

[BrendaJ]

Hello Ashley, I was married 5 years before I conceived my son. My weight was most definitely affecting my ovulation. I also suffer from PCOS. I was able to drop 40 lbs through a strict diet and within 3 months of my weight loss I became pregnant with my DS, he's 4 now). Sadly I've gained the 40 lbs back and have been TTC#2 without any luck for quite some time, and I too O regularly. I've only lost 10 lbs so far but am hoping to loose some more as I too am overweight (appx 250 ).

Let me know how things turn out for you.

 

[CanadianLady]

I have a 4yo son that it took 3 1/2 years and 2 mmc to conceive. Not ttc #2 for 17 months with no luck. Currently on cd66. Unfortunately I lost both my grandfathers this time last year exactly 5 weeks apart. I put on a lot of weight. I have PCOS and struggling to lose the weight. Down 12 lbs in 5 months.

 

[BrendaJ]

Canadian Lady, we need to be ttc buddies, we're in a similar situation. Do you use Fertility Friend to track O?

 

[CanadianLady]

I have been using an app called Ovia. Tries ff my first time round but I didn't ovulate until I was on Metformin for a few months last time. This time I have been on it for 2 months so far and nothing. Hoping to get my sugars down by April 29th for our next fertility appointment so I cn start Femara/ Letrazole.

 

[BrendaJ]

I'm also going to see my fertility specialist towards the end of April... I did a letrozole cycle in July of 2015 without IUI but was unsuccessful, am willing to try once more asap before I consider IUI. That was my first and only cycle with Letrozole and trigger shot. I have tried metformin in the past but I stopped it due to cystic acne reaction. Another reason why I want to talk to my specialist about it. Anyway, good luck and FX'd we get that beautiful BFP

 

[jessiebella86]

Sorry to hear your having a hard time. It's good your going for further investigations.

I do believe that weight (whether you are overweight or underweight) does have an impact on trying to conceive. I think it would greatly benefit you to try and loose a little weight. 40ib gain is fairly significant. Maybe you and DH could do a weight loss prgramme together make it fun, maybe challenge each other with weight loss targets etc? If nothing else it may give you something to take your mind off the stress of ttc a little? And I agree with pp some fertility clinic will ask you to loose weight before accepting you.

Good luck and keep positive xx

 

[Destiny08]

Hi there,
I know I'm a bit late on this thread! And I have no input on the weight thing sadly,
however I was in a similar situation where I had a daughter conceived quite quickly and started trying for a second when she was around 18 months old. She's now 4.5 and although I have gotten pregnant now (just the once) I seem to be miscarrying, so it'll be even longer for us.

I have very mild PCOS - all my blood tests were normal, I only had cysts. But other than that there was no reason why I was struggling.

So I have very little advice on what you can do.

But I can say in the 2/3 months before I got my +hpt, the only thing that changed was I relaxed. I stopped checking when I ovulated (only noted the cm I had, so I could predict my next period). I never even bought a pregnancy test. I didn't force sex (it had started to feel like a job and we only had sex when i was ovulating) So we relaxed a bit more, went where the mood took us and simply accepted that we may never have another child. So we looked at the positives - the things I could start to do, the sheer blessing our daughter is, and it helped me at least deal with not getting pregnant. I also limited it and said if I wasnt pregnant by my 30th birthday, I was going to call it, and stop trying.

And it seemed to work. I got pregnant. Sadly it isnt working out, but that happens.

Good luck, I hope you find your own way to make things easier.