Still upset after 6 months

[tripleccc]

I had a miscarriage in April. I was 7 weeks, I believe. My now estranged husband was not supportive in any way and still has not been. He did not want this baby to begin with. I had been spotting and I didn’t think much of it, because that happened with my daughter around the same time. A few days later, the spotting got a tiny bit heavier. I was a stay at home mom at the time and I had asked my husband to get me some pads before he went to work. He gave me an attitude, but ended up doing it. A few hours later, I was cramping. I called my doctor and they told me to come in asap. On the way there, my cramping became intense. Like a really, really bad period. I felt gushes coming out (sorry if tmi), and I was like oh no. I got out of my car and it’s like everything just came out. My jeans were soaked in blood. I put my cardigan around my waist and walked up to the doctor’s office. They wanted me to fill out paperwork and I said no, I am covered in my blood. I cannot sit and wait. So they sent me to the bathroom. While on my way to the bathroom, there was a man holding his almost newborn child and I about died. Anyway, the doctor gets me in and he is asking questions “how far along? Have you gotten your period?” Like no, dude I am miscarrying....So he checks me out and is so freaked out by how much blood there was. He kept saying “oh wow....oh wow...this is a lot of blood.”. So he did a D&C right there. He said “I found your problem” and plucked my baby out like it was nothing. My mom was with me and she said “did you find the baby?”...their response was that it wasn’t a baby yet. So my mom called my husband to come (he didn’t even ask how I was doing all day)...he comes and is so unemotionally there. We saw the baby in the cup, he/she was about an inch give or take. We get home and he wants to play video games. I’m still so devastated by this loss. It was so traumatic for me. I relive it every single day in my head.

 

[PieceByPeace]

I am so sorry about your miscarriage and your marriage. Those are two major life changes happening in a short period of time. I completely understand why you feel so devastated and traumatized. I have been in your shoes. If you aren't already seeing a counselor/therapist, I would encourage you to do so. I think it will help you process all this trauma and help you work through it and get to a healthy place of peace, acceptance, and joy again in your life. Churches often provide counseling services but a quick Google search in your area will help you find someone as well. Ask around for referrals, too. I'm glad you have this place to turn to, but do you also have any close friends or family that you can turn to for support to help you through this trauma? I'm praying you will find healing in your life.

 

[eegor]

@tripleccc I really think you need to seek out counselling. A marriage breakdown is devastating on its own, but a miscarriage at the same time... It is a lot to process all at once. Your husbands behaviour at the time was heartless and cruel, I'm really sorry he didn't support you the way a husband should.

Please find somebody to talk to, somebody who can help you IRL to process all that has happened so your heart can heal.