Stressy pants!

Discussion in 'Pregnancy - First Trimester' started by AnnabelsMummy, Dec 15, 2009.

  1. AnnabelsMummy

    AnnabelsMummy Mummy to princess annabel

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    As you probably guessed this post is gonna be a big fat winge.. but at least i'll get it off my chest...

    Basicallyyy, i'm really scared and terrified at the moment, especially with being new to all this, and having to grow up myself really quickly..
    hardly anyone knows, mainly due to being scared of how everyone is going to react..

    I hate college at the moment (i'm only 17), and some lady (who's 36, if that has any relivance) has made it her job to make my life at college hell, she thinks because i'm late (mainly due to MS, and not being able to get out of the toilet till about 10) and i've missed like 3 days (scans and doctors appointments) that i should be thrown off the course, and i'm wasting time.. even though i don't see how it's any of her business, and i'm completely up-to-date, however she keeps complaining that i shouldn't get a chance because i have "problems".. i also suffer with depression, and it makes it a million times harder.. but today she kept saying "i'm going to develop problems so that i can be late all the time).. and she has no idea what's going on... i don't understand whether it's me or she's completely insensitive :/ ... stupid woman, and she was like the biggest problems you probably have are doing your hair everyday and waking up.. which really annoyed me.. :/

    i also feel really alone and have nobody to talk to other than my OH, and he seems to be living in fairyland and i'm a really planning kind of person, i like to have a plan, so i can see a way through things, but his plans are always unrealistic (eg. winning the lottery and buying a million pound house.. hmm!), although it's good to see him dream i guess..

    i really want to tell my mum, because i think she'd be the best person to talk to, but i know she'd be sooo let down, and i don't think i could deal with that right now, plus, i don't really want to tell her till after my 12 week scan as i'm really scared somehting might go wrong!!

    On a better note, i have my second dating scan tomorrow, so am hoping to see my bubby's heartbeat again!! :D

    Sorry about that, probably posted it in completely the wrong place too!! Buttt i'm glad it's off my chest!!
    xxxxxx
     
  2. beatnick

    beatnick Well-Known Member

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    Hey chick.

    I am a teacher in a college (not yours! arf!) and this is what I suggest.

    Go to the person who is above your tutor (could be a tutor manager or student progress manager or summit) and confide in them confidentially. They are not allowed to tell anyone this information - they only have to tell someone if you are in a risky situation. They can then find a diplomatic way to deal with this matter. But you must stress that you would like it kept quiet until you have your scan. They should manage this situation for you with care.

    Secondly- mums are very suprising people. You mum will be shocked and might need some time to adjust- but you NEED her on your side! She will be your rock.

    Thirdly- its really annoying when someone is late for lessons.

    :)
     
  3. Cinnamon

    Cinnamon Well-Known Member

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    Oh hun, I'm so sorry you have to go through this and I don't think that woman should be harassing you like that. She doesn't even want to give you a chance so I don't understand why she won't just leave you alone. I'd like to think she wants to make you think about your academic future and get you to come in early and stuff but that is no reason to be saying your only problems are getting up and doing your hair. Who does she think she is???

    Do you not have any sister/close friend/cousin you can talk to and confide in? I'd say to talk to your mum, but if you say you can't take her being let down right now maybe you could wait or maybe you could write her a letter explaining and that way she has time for it to sink in before seeing you...
    Is there no counsellor at school you can talk to??
    Is this woman a teacher? She should know you're up to date if she is, and if she isn't why is it her buisness to check on you? I really don't know the context of your situation with her so I don't know if I'd give her a mouthful and tell her to leave me alone or if I'd just tell her why I'm late so she could understand and give me a break...

    Also I'd advise you to pop over to the teen pregnancy section as it might do you good to talk to girls your age going through the same thing. I'm sure they can give you better advise through their experience and also you'd feel more comfortable as you know they're in the same situation.
    I think you're very brave taking all this responsability on and trying to do the best. Try not to stop studying as nowadays it's necessary to find a nice job and have a better future.
    I hope I helped you a little, good luck hun. xxx
     
  4. kelly2903

    kelly2903 mum2princess an expectin

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    awww hunnni i also think you should tell some1 at college and your mum.... i always thought my mum would take it bad and im almos 25 but she has never taken anything the way i have thought she as always understood and stood by me good luck hope you feel better soon xxxx
     
  5. AnnabelsMummy

    AnnabelsMummy Mummy to princess annabel

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    i spoke to my tutor after my first scan and she understood, and i explain all about MS and that, and when i'm at college i put all my effort in, and so she doesn't really mind too much as we don't really do much in the mornings.. and i usually skip some of my lunch to make up for it..
    The woman is just another student in my class, who is a bit of a bully and has already caused a girl to leave and another girl with severe depression to go into hospital.. however because neither of the girls wanted to make a formal complaint they couldn't do anything..

    I just have no idea how to tell her.. the letter idea sounds good though!!! :) Thanks!!
    xxxxx
     
  6. beatnick

    beatnick Well-Known Member

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    if someone in your class is a bully then you need to (again confidentially) tell someone. Maybe the head of the dept for that subject.

    Perhaps people power might help- if others feel the same way?
     
  7. beatnick

    beatnick Well-Known Member

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    if someone in your class is a bully then you need to (again confidentially) tell someone. Maybe the head of the dept for that subject.

    Perhaps people power might help- if others feel the same way?
     
  8. 1babygirl1987

    1babygirl1987 mum to my little boy

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    grrr bless you hunni, this women sounds a nightmare!!! she obviously is trying to make you and other people feel small and she sounds like a bully, NEVER let anyone put you down, you can do whatever you want to do if you have the determination to do it! if she feels she has to put you and others down to make herself feel better at 36 when you are 17 then more fool her!!!! I was 17 and in your situation and trust me you will pull through, just probably feeling so many emotions at the moment,keep your chin up x
     
  9. Cinnamon

    Cinnamon Well-Known Member

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    A bully?? I can't believe she's harassing you with no power whatsoever, she has nothing to say and I would, as Beatnick said, tell some tutor what your situation is with her because she has no right to be checking on you and giving you a hard time. I think I'd prob give her a mouthful, but that's me prob because I was bullied when I was young and now I take no B******t... How dare she?!?! Yes, I'd prob tell her to mind her own buisness and report her.

    Do tell you mum, even in the letter you can explain exactly how you feel and how upset you are about letting her down, she will support you, you are her daughter no matter what. xxx
     
  10. booflebump

    booflebump Mummy to Toby

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    She sounds like a vile woman - but please dont let her insensitive comments upset you. She is obviously one of these jealous older women who have nothing better to do than pick on young girls - undermining them to make herself feel better about her own misfortunes. Please speak to a senior member of staff about her behaviour - just because the other girls didnt make a complaint, doesnt mean that you cant x
     
  11. AnnabelsMummy

    AnnabelsMummy Mummy to princess annabel

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    Thank youuu :) i've wrote a letter to the head of department, and am giving it in tomorrow..
    have also drafted a letter to my mum, and am going to give it to her after christmas (as don't want to spoil her christmas).. made sure i got her good pressies this year as well, she has said i've really grown up recently as well, which cheered me up...

    and on a brighter note, had my scan today and found out i'm at least 8 weeks maybe more.. :) and saw a beautiful little heartbeat..
    Although the sonographer said, the heartbeat is really big for the size, but judging from the fact that i have quite a small build.. it could just be a slow grower!! :)
    Hopefully it's still small when i get to third trimester.. might be an easier birth!! :)
    xxxx
     
  12. Cinnamon

    Cinnamon Well-Known Member

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    Well done hun, I'm sure everything will be fine. It's great your scan went well and I hope you have a H&H pregnancy.
     

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