Struggling a bit today

Discussion in 'Pregnancy - Second Trimester' started by andbabymakes3, Apr 23, 2009.

  1. andbabymakes3

    andbabymakes3 Just me and my girl

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    Bleurgh. Ever have one of those days? Got the glums and I don't like it.

    Hormones are everywhere.

    My mum was diagnosed with breast cancer in the same week we found out about the baby. It has now spread to her oesophagus (wind pipe) and her lymph nodes...since the 12th jan. So its pretty aggressive. She is having chemo and radiotherapy.

    I want to scream. Its so unfair. I never thought I would be able to have a baby (doctors had told me the same) so our little monkey is a complete blessing - and then my mum gets cancer.

    Why? I just don't understand?

    To top it all, I am pushing my OH away because I don't quite know how to tell him I am scared my mum is going to die. Yet I can type it on a forum to complete strangers who don't know me....how f*cked up am I?! lol (excuse the language...its a bad day!)

    Struggling to make sense of things today.
     
  2. LucyEmma

    LucyEmma Well-Known Member

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    :hug: aww hun im so soory about your mum, things in life never make much sense it always happens to the lovley people that deserve so much better!

    try and talk to your partner aswell im sure he will understand and your not F**ked up for telling us all on here!! i talk alot more on here than i do to anyone else really its a bit of a blessing! lol its alot easier sometimes if you just write all your fellings down and tell some one thats not really involved like family/partner ect.

    hope you feel better soon hun sending loads of big hugs your way! :hugs: :) x
     
  3. faun

    faun Mum to 2 boys and 1 girl

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    :hug::hug::hug: Its natural for things to get on top of you and yes it is always easier to share emotional stuff with strangers as you don't have to look at them and see how your sorrow, worries and fears affect them. I'm sure your OH understands that it is a difficult time for you and is probably waiting for you to open up to him when you are ready.
     
  4. soon2b6

    soon2b6 Mum to 6

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    Im sorry to hear about your Mum.
    I think its sometimes easier to talk to people you dont know. I think that its possible your OH knows exactly why you're pushing him away, try to talk to him it might be alot easier than you think when your feelings are out in the open it will make it easier for you to deal with them.
    And you are no screw up, that would be alot to deal with even if you weren't pregnant.
     
  5. lindypops

    lindypops Lin, Si and Eve

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    I think you've reacted normally. Don't worry.

    My mum was diagnosed with breast cancer about four weeks ago. It doesn't sound as aggressive as your mum's, but it knocked me sideways.

    She's more worried about me because I'm pg and I think coping with stuff like this is harder because we're more tired/sick, and feeling vulnerable and need our mums at this time especially.

    I'm sure your partner will be very understanding if you try talking about it - sharing problems like this often does make them seem more copable, as hard as they might be.

    xxx
     
  6. golcarlilly

    golcarlilly Proud mum of 2

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  7. HeidiLSparks

    HeidiLSparks Mom of 2 & 1 on the way!

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    :hug:

    My mom also has cancer. She has a brain tumor, and ovarian cancer. So I understand. Its no unfair and you just do not know how to act or deal with it. It is soooo scary and I understand that. I'm sure if you told your Oh that you are scared and you do not know how to act or be right now, he would understand hon. :hugs: If you need anything let me know.:hugs::hugs::hugs:
     
  8. Rachel_C

    Rachel_C Well-Known Member

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    I'm sorry about your mum. Cancer sucks and seems to be the most unfair of diseases.

    I'm sure your OH knows how hard things are for you. It could be that he just doesn't know how best to support you, or whether he's allowed to bring it up. If you do want to talk to him but you don't know how, maybe you could conveniently leave your forum message on screen when you know he'll see it?
     
  9. 10thSept

    10thSept Mummy to one

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    Heya hun, so sorry about your mum. My had had cancer some time ago and I didn't deal well with it at all, i just shut down, didn't speak to anyone for weeks, even months. I can't even imagin how much worse it must be going through it whilst pregnant, I have days I feel so crap and I don't have anything like what you do to deal with.
    I know it's hard, but looking back, I really do wish I'd let people in more and as hard as it is, it'll be so much better to talk to OH about it.
    All the best hun and hope your mum makes a good recovery.
    xx
     
  10. andbabymakes3

    andbabymakes3 Just me and my girl

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    Thanks so much for your messages. Feeling a bit all over the place today, really helps to know I can vent. I really appreciate it. xx
     
  11. Wombat

    Wombat Married mum of 2:)

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    Oh hun:hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug: Be strong:hugs: Sorry it is all happening to you:hugs:
     
  12. Mommy2Kian

    Mommy2Kian Kaden and Sian :)

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    Hello im invading exuse me :blush:

    Just wanted to wish your mom the best of luck :hugs: i lost my dad and 4 uncles to lung cancer and it was heartbreaking :cry: my auntie also had breast cancer 3 years ago but is now ok!

    i also had cancer when i was 18 in my lymph nodes in my neck and chest, then it came back 6 months later, i was told i would never have children due to all the harsh shitty chemo and radiotherapy...but i was also told i only had 40% chance of survival, if this time didnt work id be gone within 6 weeks to 6 months...ive never been so scared but i kept positive and im still here 5 years on with 1 beautiful boy and pregnant with my 2nd...please dont think the worst and people are being cured from this disease, make sure your mom thinks positive and dont let it beat her!

    :hugs::hugs::hugs:
     

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