struggling to hide dissapointment

Discussion in 'Gender Disappointment' started by MrsLemon, Oct 16, 2014.

  1. MrsLemon

    MrsLemon Well-Known Member

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    So I found out my first baby is going to be a boy 2 weeks ago, and I still cant get too excited about it.. I am pretending to family and friends I cant wait ..

    But I feel so detached from my pregnancy.. I longed to get pregnant and we tried for 18 months for this baby and I know i should be happy with a boy.

    I work in a nursery and today a group of boys were being challenging and hurting others.. I looked at a colleague (who has 3 boys) and said why would i want one of those.. :s and then felt terrible as she laughed (thinking i was joking)

    Will I always feel like this?? or when baby is placed in my arms will i forget i ever felt like this??
     
  2. cckarting

    cckarting Well-Known Member

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    Boys are wonderful! once you hold him in your arms you'll forget that you wanted him to be anything else. I was upset when they told me that my third was another boy, but once i held him in my arms and he was perfect I wouldn't have traded him for any girl in the world!
     
  3. minties

    minties Complete

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    I know it is so hard to see it now, but when you have your boy he will be so so much more than "just a boy".

    For starters, apart from having different genitals, baby boys and girls are the same. Crying, pooing gorgeous little beings that smell heavenly and are just the most beautiful thing you ever laid your eyes on.

    As they grow they become a person. Your boy will amaze you when he takes his first steps. When he builds something from blocks. We he runs and screams from you when you pretend to be a bad guy. He will snuggle you, tell you he loves you, and you will be the most important person in his life. He will adore you fiercely and you will feel the same.

    You will like ninja turtles and think that Batman is cool, because he does. Because everything he likes is amazing and cool and you want to be a part it.

    He will change your life forever and you will be stunned with how much you feel for him. You will cry just because your heart aches with love.

    He will be your heart.
     
  4. dom85

    dom85 Mum of 2, 3rd on the way

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    Really could not put it any better than this. When I was pregnant with my first and for a long time afterwards the only thing that made me wish I had a girl was when I walked past the girls clothes, but now it couldn't be more different and I love boys clothes! Robots and trucks and aliens seem so much cooler than pink and flowers now.
     
  5. mrs_park

    mrs_park Mummy to THREE BOYS!

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    Minties said it absolutely perfectly!
     
  6. babyjan

    babyjan Mum&expecting#2

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    Can I just say not all boys like to hurt others, in fact you can get little girls who do that! My sil daughter is 2 and she's constantly beating other kids! She's bit my son twice, my son never hit back and her mother has told me she doesn't know what to do about her daughter. I'm not trying to say all girls like to hurt others but my point is you can get very gentle little boys

    My boy is so sweet, caring and complete mummies boy!

    I have no doubt that once your little boy is here you wouldn't change him for the world x
     
  7. chelsealynnb

    chelsealynnb Wife & mommy <3

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    This is so true. We have 2 boys and are expecting our third boy in March. My SIL (who is 8) is the complete opposite of my DS1, and by opposite I mean she fights with other kids, hits people, basically is a brat. Same as DH's niece! When they are together at a relatives house, I don't even let my kids go over there because they're so terrible. On the other hand, my DS1 is the sweetest, most caring little boy anyone can meet. I have parents of the other kids at school come up to me and tell me he is so sweet. The other morning, I was getting ready for work (I leave for work really early, at like 5:30am so I get up at like 4am) and I went into his bedroom to lay out his jeans that I had pulled out of the dryer and he sat up, and I said "are you getting up already buddy? It's only 4:30am" and he said "No, I just wanted to see you for a minute before you go to work" :cloud9: Melted my heart. I truly believe that children, for the most part, grow to form their own personalities and that isn't dependent on which gender they are at all, I think most of it comes from parenting and the love they are given as children :)
     
  8. bdb84

    bdb84 Well-Known Member

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    Please try not to let gender color your perception. At this point in my "mothering career", I have met more mean little girls than I have boys.

    I have an 8 year old son and he is the epitome of gentle and compassionate. He was the kid, on the 2nd day of school, who held the hand of a crying 5 year old and offered to help walk him to his class. He is the kid whom, just last week, rushed out of the car, when I dropped him off at school, to help a girl who had dropped one of her class projects.

    He hugs me when I'm sad. He tells his little sister that she's his best friend. He cries when he watches a sad show. He helps bugs "cross the street" so that they do not get squashed.

    He truly is my little dream come true.
     
  9. MrsLemon

    MrsLemon Well-Known Member

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    Thank you for such lovely replies,

    I`ve spent a lot of time at work throwing myself into being with the boys and I`ve really enjoyed it and everyone I`ve spoken too says that their little boys are so loving and on proper observation I`ve noticed how close all the boys in my class are to their mums it seems lovely :)


    and he has been kicking so much I am becoming so attached
     
  10. george83

    george83 Well-Known Member

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    I have to fully agree with all the pp, I would love a baby girl (I'm pregnant with my third but we're team yellow) but I have two boys aged 3 and 9 months and I love them to pieces I wouldn't swap either of them for the world. Your baby boy will be different to the boys at nursery as he's yours and I'm sure you'll idolise him!

    I've got loads of friends who are pregnant at the minute and i feel like my heart breaks a little whenever I hear of somebody else getting their girl but I still wouldn't change my boys
     
  11. kosh

    kosh proud new mum!

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    this brought tears to my eyes, it's sooo true!
    I can't believe I now hear myself saying 'wow, look at that digger!!'
    his little face lighting up means everything to me :cloud9:
     

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