Struggling with weight gain (emotionally)

Discussion in 'Pregnancy - Second Trimester' started by April2012, Nov 18, 2011.

  1. April2012

    April2012 I have a beautiful boy!

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    Yes, another weight-related thread.

    I have never been pregnant before, so part of my concern is that i don't know what to expect regarding weight. I am almost 19 weeks pregnant. My eating really hasn't changed...truly. I chart my daily calories so I am very aware of what I am eating. Prior to pregnancy, I weighed 108 pounds at 5'5''. My last weigh in at 16 weeks was 106 pounds. But now...my weight is creeping up. I am not sure exactly, but i would guess 110-112. If my eating hasn't changed (I am being honest...it really hasn't)...then why the weight gain? Isn't the baby super tiny still at 19 weeks? What is the deal.

    Please...I am not trying to sound vain or self-obsessed...I am just really baffled. I want to "trust" my body and the pregnancy process, but that is hard to do when I don't understand what is happening. :nope:

    Thank you to those who take the time to read and/or reply.
     
  2. happygal

    happygal mum of 3

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    you've got to relax hun. you have hardly gained any weight at all. there's not just the weight of the baby to consider but also the placenta and waters. it all adds up hun x
     
  3. April2012

    April2012 I have a beautiful boy!

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    I appreciate your reply. I am trying not to weight myself but once a week...and keep in mind it isn't just the "baby" that has weight...but the uterus expansion, blood, breast tissue, etc.
     
  4. Onemoretime5

    Onemoretime5 Mother of 6 and loving it

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    I feel the same way you do, I completely understand the fear. its not just the baby you have to think of its water weight, and blood volume and constipation and all those nice things. You had better prepare yourself because you will gain anywhere for 25-35lbs you have to come to terms with this or it will drive you mad hun :)
     
  5. April2012

    April2012 I have a beautiful boy!

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    ugh...i am trying! congrats on your twins!
     
  6. SabrinaKat

    SabrinaKat Delighted Mum to Finn

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    I lost loads of weight last year (3 stone/40-45lbs) and am having a hard time being pregnant as well -- I eat six small meals a day, and my GP and ob/gyn have refused to weigh me as they do not want me to obsess; I know I have gained weight, but the baby is well nourished (two to three weeks bigger than he should be, but that runs in my husband's family), healthy and active...

    my advice is to stop looking at the scales at all -- I haven't (because I will cry if I see how much weight I have gained), but most of the weight is baby, placenta, water retention, etc., so please try not to stress too much. In fact, we are supposed to gain about 2 stone (25-30lbs) in pregnancy and it will come from wks 20 onwards....

    best wishes
     
  7. April2012

    April2012 I have a beautiful boy!

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    thank you. I am definitely cutting down on the scales. it just makes me obsess and doesn't offer any helpful information (everyone's weight varies daily due to water/waste).

    I do have a bump or belly or bloat. It is noticeable. Is that normal? i mean, is that real baby stuff going on there at 19 weeks? earlier in my pregnancy, i experienced bloat...but bloat came and went during the day (usually worse at night). I knew that wasn't baby. this fullness now stays with me the whole day.
     
  8. nikkchikk

    nikkchikk Well-Known Member

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    Here's some helpful information :)

    https://www.baby2see.com/pregnancy_we...alculator.html

    On a Trimester Basis:

    First trimester: 1 pound per month ~ (about 4lb) in the first three months.
    Second trimester: 1 pound per week for the next three months ~ (12 - 14lb) in total.
    Third trimester: around 1 pound per week ~ (12lb) over the last three months.

    But remember, these are average figures for large numbers of women so just because your weight gain pattern is different, it doesn't mean anything is wrong.

    Focus should not be so much on how much weight you are gaining
    in pregnancy; but how well you are eating in pregnancy!

    It is recommended that women should aim for a weight gain related to their pre-pregnancy BMI:
    If BMI was above 26, you should aim for a weight gain of between 15 and 25lb (7 and 11.5kg).
    If BMI was between 20 and 26, you should aim for a weight gain of 25 to 35lb (11.5 to 16kg).
    If BMI was less than 20, you should aim for a weight gain of 28 to 40lb (12.5 to 18kg).
     
  9. SabrinaKat

    SabrinaKat Delighted Mum to Finn

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    april -- bloat is no bloat -- that's your bump! Congratulations! Now the whole world can tell you are pregnant!

    (at least, it made me feel better in those pre-bump/looking fat uncertainty to finally realise that it was bump, not bloat....)

    best wishes
     
  10. April2012

    April2012 I have a beautiful boy!

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    I found this blurp and found it helpful. it breaks down what weights what at 19 weeks:

    Most women can feel their uterus about a half of an inch below their bellybutton at this point of pregnancy. If you turn to the side, you can really tell that your body is changing! Most women have gained up to 14 pounds now and only 7 ounces of that is your baby! The placenta weighs about 6 ounces and the amniotic fluid that surrounds your baby weighs 11 ounces. Your breasts have increased in weight by 6 ounces each and the uterus has grown to 11 ounces! You may be gaining weight in places other than your abdomen and this may be affecting your posture and sleeping habits.

    https://www.i-am-pregnant.com/pregnancy/calendar/week/19

    what it tells me is that baby, placenta, uterus, amniotic fluid and breast tissue alone add up to a few pounds.
     
  11. kat2504

    kat2504 Well-Known Member

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    You are a very slim weight for your height so it is healthy for you to put on as much as 35 pounds during your pregnancy. Although the baby weighs less than a pound at 19 weeks, some of the weight will also be the amniotic fluid, the placenta, your bigger uterus, bigger breasts etc. Also you will need to gain some weight your self, your body naturally lays down some fat in pregnancy for use when breastfeeding. And the extra blood your body has will weigh a bit too.
    I would not recommend weighing yourself constantly as it will make you worry about your weight gain and trying to restrict it perhaps, when really you need to gain at a healthy rate. You will need to eat a bit more to achieve this, so please don't be watching what you eat.

    Go on one of those pregnancy weight gain calculators, they will show you an average weight gain for someone of your size. more importantly, talk to your doctor or midwife about it. Unless they are worried that you are gaining too much, you shouldn't worry either.
    Stop charting your calories and eat when you feel hungry. Listen to what your body wants. If you are as slim as you say, you may not be getting enough calories for pregnancy. An average woman needs 2000 calories a day, with an extra 200 in the second half of pregnancy. As you are petite, you probably need 1800 a day, going up to 2000 in the second half of pregnancy. If you are eating less than that then you may need to look at where you can add some calorific but nutritious food.
     
  12. April2012

    April2012 I have a beautiful boy!

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    thank you. I am trying. It seems that I have known and controlled my weight to the pound for years now...the letting go of that has proven challenging...
     
  13. kat2504

    kat2504 Well-Known Member

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    Just try and remember the weight gain is a good thing. I am sure it is a hard mental adjustment after a lifetime of dieting, but when you weigh yourself (perhaps one every week maximum) celebrate each pound going on as a step on the way to growing your lovely new baby. Recommended weight gain is 25-35 pounds. You should possibly be on the higher end of that so you are aiming to gain a pound a week from now on ideally. Some weeks the baby might have a growth spurt, and you might not gain in the last couple of weeks when it is nearly finished.

    You need to gain the weight for the baby to grow. It can't get the calories from nowhere! Unless you are fat like me. I have the opposite problem. I have plenty of fat stores and I need to keep my gain down to about 15 pounds to avoid getting in the high risk category.
     
  14. erikab922

    erikab922 Well-Known Member

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  15. Gia7777

    Gia7777 Well-Known Member

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    I think it's more important to concentrate on making sure you are eating healthy for the baby and not depriving yourself of the proper nutrition needed during pregnancy for fear of gaining a few pounds. They'll be plenty of time after the birth to get back in shape, even if it doesn't happen overnight. You can't expect to grow a 7-8lb baby and keep the same ideal body during that time. You'll get it back, I just wouldn't worry so much about it realistically for the next year. Everyone and everyone's body adjusts differently to being pregnant. Some women can gain only 15lbs the entire pregnancy and some women can retain just 15lbs in water weight alone. Hang in there.
     
  16. sjxoxo

    sjxoxo Well-Known Member

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    I completely understand how you are feeling. I've struggled with eating disorders since I was 13 and finally over the last few years I have lost a tremendous amount of weight through a very strict diet and lifestyle. So far, I've gained about 10 lbs. and I've had a very hard time emotionally gaining the weight. It also hasn't helped that 3 people upon learning I was pregnant made comments such as "well don't gain all your weight back" or "remember you aren't really eating for two." :(
    What makes it worse is when I mentioned it to my Mom, friends, or OH they all act disgusted and shocked like I am the most vain, petty, and selfish person ever. It's not that I want to starve my baby, I am just having a hard time separating the thoughts of "I'm growing a baby" vs. "Oh my god my thighs are getting huge and I'm getting a double chin." I guess all I can say is hang in there and know that you aren't alone in feeling this way. :hugs:
     
  17. April2012

    April2012 I have a beautiful boy!

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    Thank you for being candid. It is hard for people who don't struggle to understand it isn't about vanity. I guess I fear losing control with food/weight. Thank you to the posters for not judging me. I appreciate the input immensely from all of you. :hugs:
     
  18. babyblog

    babyblog Well-Known Member

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    You a doing really well with your litle weight gain, and the others are Ruhr, it's not bubs but your uterus, extra blood and fluid and probably boobs! I too am struggling to accept it.I put on around 2 stone with myLO but I lost alotnafter I had him and was proud to be smaller than before I got preg.Now I can feel my thighs growing by the day and sometimes I don't even want to put clothes on! But if you keep doing what you are doing you should put on only what baby needs and you will lose it quickly afterward x
     
  19. libbylou

    libbylou Mommy to Everette Ann

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    I'm worried about weight gain too. I'm 5'10 and have gained 9lbs in 17 weeks
    While I know the "normal" total weight gain for me is about 30-35lbs I'm not sure how that breaks down into how many lbs per week.

    I talked to my midwife about it and she basically said I should expect to gain 30-40lbs for my height/body type and that as long as I am eating healthy and exercising then I shouldn't worry about it too much.

    I know a lot of the extra weight at this point is not necessarily baby, but the placenta, uterus, amniotic fluid, extra blood and bigger boobs.

    I know it's hard to let go of the control but remember you're doing this for the health of your LO and try not to worry about it too much :flower:
     
  20. April2012

    April2012 I have a beautiful boy!

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    i weighed myself this morning, and i had gained weight since about a week ago. i believe it to be actual weight (not just normal female fluid/bowel fluctuations). I understand that weight gain is inevitable, but it is still difficult to see on the scale. i question if it is baby weight or just fat? i know i can see a very obvious bump when i get up in the morning (before, a bump just became visible in the evenings indicating it was bloat rather than bump). my clothes are getting snug. i thought initially i could get through month 6 in my regular clothes, but that doesn't look like that is going to be the case. nearly all of my clothes are very tailored skirts and dresses that leave little room for even bloated period days...let alone pregnancy. :nope:

    so now in addition to struggling with the weight gain, i am soon to be without a wardrobe. what will i wear? i have such a difficult time with knowing what to wear.
     

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