"Stupid" for trying?!?!?

Discussion in 'Trying To Conceive' started by mrsstreet0417, Apr 20, 2009.

  1. mrsstreet0417

    mrsstreet0417 Mom to Isabella and Emma

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    Am so :gun: right now!!! This note was posted by a girl on my facebook. I can't believe anyone can be so narrow-minded...

    "Every time I browse an old friend's page, I am surprised to find that 80% of them are either pregnant, have had a child or two, or are married.

    What I want to understand is the marital obsession of this age. Why does everyone feel like they have to get married and have children now? Is it that we're afraid that we're running out of time? Or is simply that we are just getting stupider? There was once a time when marrying young was okay; a necessity, even. But in this day, it's just not logical. We all have to spend our younger years getting an education and working on a career. This is because we have to financially ensure ourselves so that when the time comes, we can have a family, and take good care of them at that.

    But these days, it seems like our youth is jumping the gun; jumping the shotgun wedding, more accurately. I understand that there are threats of the impending Armageddon for those of us who choose to believe that. I understand that even if the biblical Armageddon is centuries away, this world... this society is still crumbling to pieces. But is that any reason to rush? Remember: "Quality over quantity." Why rush to have a family if you're going to struggle to support them?

    And what ever happened to being young? We're at the point in the world where we're allowed to be young and restless, and responsible at the same time. But we're taking it a step too far. Young and restless has turned into young and reckless. Our idea of a good time is planning a courthouse wedding to someone we've been casually dating for MAYBE a year. Or having sex without a condom, getting pregnant, and keeping the child. Then, we either leave the other or get married.

    I just don't understand why so many young people are rushing their lives. Since when did getting married and having a child become such a damn fad? What are you going to do when children "go out of style?" Even if the world is going to end, you still have plenty of time to do it the logical way. If you want to get married, fine. If you want to have children, fine. But here's what pisses me off: you choose to do it when you're still young and reckless. No one I know who is married and/or with child at this age has anything even resembling a career. Let alone, a job. What will probably end up happening is mommy and daddy will care for the babe if they are lucky. But then someday, when mommy and daddy get fed up with babe, young mommy and daddy get put out on the street with babe. Then, it begins a vicious cycle. Believe me, I know. And why let that happen? Instead of helping our society crumble by being irresponsible, why don't you help us survive a little longer and do what MAKES SENSE? Make life easy on yourself....

    And stop killing yourself slowly by chaining yourself to the world that so many of our elders are trying to escape. You're young only once, and it's for a damn reason.

    Stop rushing it."



    Does anyone else think it's stupid for me to be married at 20 and want a little one? I am just so irritated about this, and people commented and told her that the only explanation they could come up with is that people like that are "Stupid"....
     
  2. Kimmer

    Kimmer Mummy to a beautiful baby

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    That kind of narrow minded thinking always p*sses me off!

    So what if she doesn't want what others DO want?!

    I'm 20, I've been married for 8 months now and were TTC. What's wrong with that?

    I have friends that are saying the same sort of thing.. "What's the rush?"

    Its life, this isn't a practice run. I don't wanna look back when I'm 30 and say "oh I wish I had kids when I was 20"

    Ppfff people annoy me!
     
  3. MrsQ

    MrsQ Mummy to Mikey and bump

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    ignore ignore ignore.
    Shes jealous and bitter and twisted! Your happy and thats all that matters!!!
    is she a close friend? As if not i would be deleting her from my friends list!!!

    I am by no menas young at 28 but we get married in august and are trying for a bean now in the hope that we can announce it at the wedding. The few i have hinted too have said ah no you cant get smashed at your wedding..... kinda not was i was planning anyway!!! I have worked too hard to not remember anything!

    good luck hunny and dont let the btards get you down!
    xxx
     
  4. mrsstreet0417

    mrsstreet0417 Mom to Isabella and Emma

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    She's not a close friend, thank goodness, but she was someone I went to school with. I just think that if marriage and a family are not her choices right now, she could at least be considerate of others choices. Glad to see I am not the only one who would be offended by this. Thank you ladies...
     
  5. Sarah88

    Sarah88 Full time working mummy

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    What a twat! :ignore:
    Stupid cow, I bet she's a single virgin with no hope of getting married except to a guy 20yrs older who's blind.
     
  6. Parkep

    Parkep Very happy mom

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    oh i would be pissed at this!..
    To think that ALL people have no career nevermind a JOB! and that ALL younger people that get married and have a LO will end up on the streets??? thats crazy! i just dont see how she can put every single couple in one category. Just because she is not ready to stop drinking and stop partying, doesnt mean all younger people are young and reckless!
    Alot of people are ready to settle down and be responsible just because she isnt doesnt not mean everyone is like her...

    sorry for the rant:blush:
     
  7. Waiting2bMommy

    Waiting2bMommy Levi and Jax's Mommy!

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    What a moron. People like that are so wicked annoying.
     
  8. blondeNklutzi

    blondeNklutzi Mika's Mommy and TTC

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    I have run into a lot of that too though. I'm only 20, and I'm still in school. People say I'm too young, say I should make sure I will have a career. I'm planning on having a career, I'm going to finish school whether I get pregnant first or not. I just get sick of people judging my choices in life.
     
  9. aimee-lou

    aimee-lou Totally Outnumbered!!

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    Oh dear oh dear oh dear!

    Thing is, she obviously hasn't got a clue what will make her happy so she's criticising other people's happiness! She also doesn't specify what's 'young'. I consider myself a 'young' married' - hubby and I have been married a year. We were both 24 when we married and I will be 26 when bubs gets here. Is that too young?

    What's so great about being young and reckless anyway? It's expensive, unhealthy, (for women at least) dangerous and generally I didn't enjoy 'clubbing' or anything like that.....so why continue something you don't like?

    My hubby once said to someone, when you find true happiness, you'll stop looking and be happy! That's what happens and this can happen at any age....be it 16 or 36. She obviously hasn't found it and can't come to terms with her jealousy that other people have. Ignore her and sit proud in the knowledge that you are happy, doing what's right for you, and that's what's important.
     
  10. Tudor Rose

    Tudor Rose Mummy

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    i married at 19 my hubby was 28 by then we had had our 1st my 2nd was born when i was 20, im now 24 and trying for my 3rd.

    so no your not stupid every one gets there maternal urge at different ages.
     
  11. Lilaala

    Lilaala LTTTC Alumni

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    Sounds like she just doesn't have her shit together and wants to take it out on people who DO.

    I have always hated how career-focused this society is now, having a family and any real meaning in life is always considered 'less' than how much money you make or what prestigious title you have work-wise. Whenever I look around, people are thought highly of and praised for holding down multiple jobs and spending every waking hour possible working. The precious little time they have off? They drink it away, including a chunk of the money they just slaved for. Frankly I consider that a shitty existence, and it's most definitely not for me.

    None of us know how long we have on this Earth, and I can tell you if I spent 10 years in school to get a career and then found myself on my deathbed the next minute, I'd regret not pursuing the things I really want out of this life. ie, a family. If work fulfilled me, then sure, but personally I find it extremely hollow and would like meaning in my life, thanks.

    *I do have a job, in case that wasn't clear. I've also graduated from college. I honestly shudder to think how much my co-workers will tell me I'm too young after we've conceived, and I'm already turning 25 in July and feel like I'm getting OLD.
     
  12. Mrs_N

    Mrs_N New mummy

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    very narrow minded!

    no-one has anything against her for being single and not wanting kids at the moment so why should she be against people who want the opposite. we are all entitled to our choices, and you do what is right for you, not what is right for someone else - if we were all the same life would be pretty damn boring!

    A friend of mine is 25 - got married age 18, had their first child aged 19 and are now expecting their 3rd baby. she is one of the happiest people I know.
    Me - I got married at 24 - young I don't know, I don't feel it. I'm a doctor, earning good money and we've decided to try for a family - I am thrilled with our decision and the way my life is turning out, and that is the most important thing!
     
  13. MonkeyFeet

    MonkeyFeet Pregnant after ICSI

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    Just ignore her. She has the right to her opinions but shouldn't express them in such a way that is offensive to other people who make different choice. From what I can tell more people are waiting now than used to, only 4 people in my office are married and 3 are over 30 and childless.
     
  14. Jemz3741

    Jemz3741 2 girls and a boy <3

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    Im 22 next month had my 1st baby at 18 (nearly 19), married at 19, had 2nd baby at 20 and am pregnant again with my 3rd... i have never been happier, and yes i dont have a workplace BUT, im a mobile hairdresser!! I left school at 16 and worked my ass off to qualify and i did!! This has also pissed me off slightly too :hissy:
    My husband and myself support our family. No offence but age means nothing, you can be 15 and be a great mum and on the other hand you can be 45 and be a the worse parent ever! Age is a number,nothing more nothing less.
    Wow i feel better for commenting now lol :blush:
     
  15. Ilove

    Ilove Guest

    Jealous. Ignore the judgemental sh*thead
    I married at 20 and it was the best thing I ever did. We didnt prevent from when I was 19 and now weve been trying over a year and have found problems, Im so glad we did start then. Were all ready for things at our own pace, theres no right or wrong once youre a responsible adult, why does she have such a big chip on her shoulder about what anyone else is doing? Sad if you ask me

    What I dont understand is why its considered "rushing our lives" anyway...Weve found the men we want to spend our lives with...but yeah we should just hang around until were 35 until we start thinking about marrying.
    I dont like clubbing or drinking, Im not career driven, and Ive already travelled a lot...Am I supposed to do those things for another decade despite the fact that I dont enjoy them and its not what I want for my life? Ridiculous
    Anyway, weve talked and decided this is the way around we want to do things. Were not going to drop any other ambitions completely just because were married now and are trying for our first child, as they say we have plenty of time hopefully!
     
  16. mrs_tommo22

    mrs_tommo22 Well-Known Member

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    No it would piss me off - i was 21 and was married and had a baby - i dont see the problem. Just ignore her - its not up to her to judge and make snide comments like that.
     
  17. jacky24

    jacky24 Mom of 37w2d Angel

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    I will call it IGNORANCE!!!! she is probably a very SAD and very LONELY girl... with no future ahead of her for now. NO-ONE to come home to.. NO-ONE to share the joy of LOVE.... People do and say things daily on FB that make me want to :hissy::hissy::hissy: BUT it is every persons right to say how they feel... WE just know that AGE and MARRAIGE is a personal choice.... and WE as they say STUPID are actually the LUCKY ones...:hugs:
     
  18. EstelSeren

    EstelSeren Married Mum of 2!

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    Just ignore it! I'm 20, getting married next year when I'm 21 (wish it were earlier tbh!) and will be trying for a baby then (although I've wanted to start trying ages ago!!). I'll have finished uni by then and hopefully both oh and I will have jobs. It'll be the right time for me. Only you know when you're ready, so sod her!!!

    Beca :wave:
     
  19. maybethistime

    maybethistime Mummy 2 Aaliyah

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    Balls 2 her, I think it boils down 2 jelousy i got married at 23 and Im glad I did, im sick 2 death when ppl say im 2 young but i think when u no u no plus i had alot of fun before that believe me haha
     
  20. PrayerfulHope

    PrayerfulHope Mom of 2

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    Sounds like someone doesn't understand what it's like to fall in love with someone else and want a family. :dohh: What a jerk.
     

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