Stupid Insensitive Mother

Discussion in 'Miscarriage Support' started by Caroline, Apr 27, 2009.

  1. Caroline

    Caroline Proud Mum of 4

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    I have coping fairly well since my hormones crashed out last Wednesday, that is until I spoke to my mother last night.

    Initially she asked how I'd got on @ work this week & if I'd managed the whole week.

    She then went on to inform me that someone that she'd been walking with daughter in law has pre natal depression & she's only 12 weeks. It took me all my time not to burst into tears. I mean WTF I don't know her from adam, so why on earth should I be interested.

    All I could think was well at least shes got her baby (I would have been 12 weeks tomorrow).

    I couldn't get her off the phone quick enough, then just burst into tears.

    Feel a bit better today but still a bit emotional.

    When we left MIL last week, she said if we ttc again when I get pg to tell her straight away so that she can give her the extra support we will need. Fat chance of me telling my mother tho' 'cos no doubt she'll come out with something equally insensitive.

    And just to top it all off, when we were visiting family just after I'd lost lil bean, she totally ignored my OH, never even asked how he was. FFS it was his baby too, and he was hurting & upset too, but she didn't even acknowledge, not that I should have expected any different from her.

    Sorry, rant over, just needed to get things off my chest.
     
  2. Jkelmum

    Jkelmum Well-Known Member

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  3. kermie219

    kermie219 Well-Known Member

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    Don't know what to say...I'm sorry for your loss :hug:
     
  4. NickyT75

    NickyT75 RIP Sophie my angel

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    :hug: sorry for your loss hun :(

    Some people just dont know what to say at times like this so find themselves babbling and coming out with things that are inappropriate when they didnt mean to

    Try not to take it to heart :hugs: xx
     
  5. Staceyxxx

    Staceyxxx Mummy To 2 Little Angels

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    Sorry for your loss x
     
  6. lissaloo

    lissaloo Well-Known Member

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    ah hun thats awful all you need is a little understanding and comfort,,sorry about your baby and for your oh to.. men tend to keep quiet but they still hurt xx

    You rant all you want x
     
  7. buffycat

    buffycat mummy to Enid & Anna...

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    :hugs:

    some people really don't know that they are putting their foot in it.....
     
  8. bexxie

    bexxie Well-Known Member

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    Oh hunnie I really sympathise you- I do know how you feel and with time things will get easier

    hugs
    xx
     
  9. honeybunch2k7

    honeybunch2k7 Well-Known Member

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  10. catfromaus

    catfromaus Mum to angel Aiden Lynne

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    So sorry for your loss.
    I know what you mean, people, even close relatives have said absolutely shocking things to me as well. I just keep trying to remember that they mean well, they just haven't gone through what we have, and don't know what to say.
    I think the winner of the worst thing said to me was my Grandmother (who had 6 children) who said "Thank goodness it happened before the baby was old enough for you to love it"
    I'm sure she didn't mean to hurt you, but it sure was an insensitive thing to say.

    Cat
    xxx
     
  11. Caroline

    Caroline Proud Mum of 4

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    :hug: sorry for your loss cat. What an awful thing for your grandma to say.
     

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