Stupid question

[piranha]

Today i was talking to one of my colleagues and some how came up a topic "what is worse - ttc for years and years or keep getting pregnant after one time straight away and then lose it before 12 weeks (for example like me 3 times)?" ...

 

[Emum]

I have experienced both. It took 6 years and much fertility treatment to conceive my first child. My miscarriage last month was after conceiving first time. Both were hugely distressing and painful. I also conceived and lost a child once in the 6 years I was trying for my first.

I don't think it's a question which can be answered. It's like asking what is worse? To lose an arm or a leg? To be blind or deaf? Everyone will think what they are currently experiencing is worse than what the other one is, but that doesn't make them right.

Sorry for your losses. I hope you have your much wanted baby soon.

 

[jennijunni]

I am not sure either. I too struggled with infertility TTC our first, and that was just heartbreaking. I have suffered an early loss, and that was sad too. But the loss I just had at 17 weeks was devastating. I honestly just dont know what is worse. I know the pain, and grief I had over losing our son was much more intense than our sorrow with TTC, but it was not something that is constantly there. Where the pain of TTC is an everyday, every month struggle. I dont think there is a correct answer.

 

[chirizma]

truthfully, don't think either is worse. I think both are has heart wrenchng and heart breaking as the next.

I have a friend who is having probs concieving and she was with me durring my M/C and she felt bad for going on and on about her issues, while I was M/C..but like I told her...wether you have fertility issues you are struggling with, or are M/C..either way you are grieving the loss of a child. because in your heart you love that child, and wether you lose it thru M/C or fertility issues makes no differance. you still grieve that which you loved and prayed for. If that makes sense...

 

[petitpas]

Isn't the whole point that neither has a child in the end?