Support Group failed IVF/ICSI IUI or any failed assisted conceptions 2014

[Ttcne]

bugger.

Another failure. Beta of 27 (I took a HSG 2000u shot on Monday for Luetal support) So I'm not sure if it's BFN or a chemical. But still not pregnant.
Retest on sat to confirm.

I know it's only been 2 goes, but with the unicornate uterus getting PG is only half the battle (the stats say 50% live birth).
Fostering, adoption, surrogacy. Everything is in my head right now.

hope you're all doing well.

1, 2, or 100 these are losses and they hurt. Take care of yourself.

 

[chocolatecat]

Thanks guys, yesterday I was more angry then hurt, if that makes sense. Pissed off that the rest of the world seems to manage to do this just fine, and I can't! I know most people have had longer and harder battles, but I still feel it's all so unfair.
My husband and I are very much in love, both desperate to have children, doting aunt and uncle, always the ones to play with friend's kids at parties...I don't think we'll be perfect parents, but I know we'll be the best we can be, and *RANT* better than most I see around the ACU - 8 months PG woman smoking outside yesterday - GRRRRRRR *RANT OVER*

It hurts more today, and I really don't know how long we should do this for, or when to insist on more tests - such as immune compatibility stuff. Does anyone know of a list of tests that can be done when things start failing for non-obvious reasons??

 

[mrssunshine78]

hi ladies i think i may belong here, feel i don't belong anywhere else

sorry all of you are having to go through this too

my first cycle mc, 2nd cycle cancelled due to poor response, and now i'm just waiting til i can try again, but am swaying from don't want to try again to i want to go again now

 

[Wallie]

hi ladies i think i may belong here, feel i don't belong anywhere else

sorry all of you are having to go through this too

my first cycle mc, 2nd cycle cancelled due to poor response, and now i'm just waiting til i can try again, but am swaying from don't want to try again to i want to go again now

The reason we don't want to try again is the hurt we feel, not because we don't want the chance of being pregnant and having a child, it's the screwed up state we are in after a bfn or in your case the cycle not responding as it should. It's our way of protecting ourselves...

 

[Chris77]

Hi ladies

We're on the verge of failing our 6th IUI cycle...this one with Follistim injections.

 

[mrssunshine78]

Hi ladies

We're on the verge of failing our 6th IUI cycle...this one with Follistim injections.

aww am so sorry what is your next step? are you going for ivf?

 

[Lolly1985]

Hi Ladies

Eugh, this is the thread no one wants to ever post on, but here I am again! Well a little about me... This was my second ICSI, the first having failed in September last year. It was a long road to get to round two, with multiple ovarian cysts, crazy hormone levels and OHSS thrown in. Because of all those reasons and the fact we still got our perfect 8 cell embie I thought that fate was with us this time and it just had to work. Well, I was wrong. OTD is not until Thursday but the amount of blood I have lost and continue to lose tells me there is no shred of hope anymore. I began to bleed very early at 7dp3dt. At that stage there is always the hope that it was implantation blood, although I think in my heart I knew. The same happened last time, to the day. It’s as if my body is too weak to cope with the thickness of the lining. I am only small, 5ft 1in and 7 ½ stone. I don’t have periods really and so I think it is just been too much to bear. Each cycle the pattern has been the same. Bleed a week to the day after but only a tiny bit. It then stops and gives you that tiny false hope that it may just be implanting. Then a bit more the next day, but again it goes. Then nothing until day 4 when you know that it’s over. I’m currently very heavy and it’s just a cruel reminder of the failure. I want to forget, not remember every time I go to the toilet. I have been taking paracetamol to mask the pain as I feel that I shouldn’t have my body letting me know that it failed again.

I’m not really sure how I feel, it changes. I know I feel terribly guilty as I feel that I have let everyone down again. DP is perfect, it’s my body letting us down. He is lovely and reassuring but it’s that natural feeling that I just can’t shake. I think strangely I am dealing with this failure better than the first, which is odd. I have this sickening sense that we are coming to the end of our journey and that maybe it’s for the best. I know it is totally the wrong attitude but I can’t keep doing this to my body physically and emotionally. I feel so sad for DP. He truly believed if I was more positive after transfer it would be different this time. I was and it has still not worked. I think he is struggling as we are both so out of control. The tears went quite quickly. The initial day I saw the blood was the worst, but then I just knew and began to move through it. I am just extremely angry. I am angry with God. I was blessed in church where I asked him for guidance and support and he let me down. Again I realise this is a very unhealthy attitude and I do hope i’m not offending anyone but I can’t help these dark thoughts. We have to attend a family christening on Sunday for DPs cousin. I have told him why should I enter a house of God and celebrate his love for this little baby when he can’t help us have ours. Why should I? I have lost my faith and it scares me. My mum says maybe he wants me to follow another path. Maybe, but why make us suffer so badly along the way? I feel as if I am being punished.

I genuinely believe now that I won’t carry my child. We have been looking into adoption. It is something I could get excited about. I would do it now if we could. But DP wants one more try and I owe it to him to try again. It’s the only other chance we have to have our own child. It is what he truly wants. I just want a family. I think I need closure on this, but understand DPs need to say we tried 100%. He said if we walk away now he will always think what if. I respect that, I just don’t want this need consuming me anymore. It’s so draining and I am tired now. After 5 years I am tired.
Please don’t console me, I am ok. Save your strength for yourselves, we all need to be able to move forwards. I just came home from work with this need to write it all down and think I will feel more at peace now I have. I am scared that the sadness will hit me in a few weeks, I hope it doesn’t. And I hope the anger goes away. It isn’t a healthy thing.

I can’t understand why good people are punished. Although saying that, in the middle of all this I landed my dream job. How can there be such happiness and such sadness all at once? I think we need a good holiday!

You are all brave ladies, many braver than me. This journey is awful, I can only imagine the joy it can bring. Sadly I feel I am not going to be one of those people. But it doesn’t mean I won’t get that happiness. I now realise I will, I just think it will be the result of a different path. But then I can tell my child that I chose them, mummy and daddy wanted to love you because you are special, so we came to find you and bring you home. It’s all I want.

Thank you so much ladies. My heart goes out to all of you, all special in so many ways

Love Lolly xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

 

[angiemon]

Oh Lolly, I dont know what to say. I havent been on bnb for a while but i wanted to see how you were getting on. Im so sorry the horrible witch has arrived! Its so unfair!! I wish I could help in some way

Sending you big hugs

 

[Lolly1985]

Thank you Angie.

I know what you mean. Sometimes there really isn't anything to say and that's ok because just replying is plenty enough. Thank you so much xxxxxxx

 

[dreamofabean]

Oh Lolly, im so sorry honey. This whole journey just sucks, life just isnt fair xxx

 

[dreamofabean]

We had our follow up appt this afternoon after our first failed icsi. We have 2 frosties and when we got fundinf were told if it was unsuccessful then FET are included. Today we've been told that may not be the case anymore They will hopefully let us know tomorrow whether we're ok or if we need to pay. Didnt expect it at all, grrr!
Why is nothing ever easy hey?!x

 

[Donna210369]

Oh Dream that's not good. How can they change their mind when they've already told you they'll pay. I would kick up a right stink. Let us know what they decide to do hunni xx

 

[dreamofabean]

We have funding! Phew! Was ready to kick up a stink! Lol. Have to call on cd1 to book scans for fet... Eek!

 

[Donna210369]

That's great news How many snowbabies do you have? Really good they're doing it so quickly; nice not to have to wait long. Wishing you so much luck with this one lovely xx

 

[mrssunshine78]

lolly i am so sorry for your horrible journey

dreamofabean good that you still have funding, they count fet as part of one cycle at our clinic, good luck with it

 

[dreamofabean]

Thanks Donna and mrs sunshine
Donna we have two frosties, they were frozen on day 1 though so unsure of quality. Not really holding out any hope tbh! X

 

[jappygirl76]

I am not sure where to post this question, but I had my ET 4 days ago, and it was a 6 day transfer. I am having cramping and a lot of bleeding on th TP when I wipe, but not enough to require a pad. Sorry for the TMI!!

I am not due to go for my blood pregnancy test until 7/12 which is not for another 5 days. I am using vaginal progesterone suppositories. This seems like a lot of bleeding to be just spotting or possibly implantation bleeding. Am I freaking out about nothing, or do you think that this means that the IVF was unsuccessful??? I am so nervous right now. Any words of advice or anyone else's experience would really help right now.

Thanks in advance. Please let me know

 

[dreamofabean]

Sorry to hear this jappygirl I can't really offer any advice but wanted to send a big hug!! Do you temp honey? Could always check temp if you do? Otherwise wait a day or two and test. Sorry I can't be more help x

 

[nhood]

This post is pretty old, but I wanted to post anyway. I will be starting my 3rd IVF attempt in OCT/NOV. Its been a very long road for us.

I am 32 and my DH is 37. We went to assisted conception route only after 8 months of trying. We figured it was going to be a piece of cake for us, but I was TOTALLY wrong!

We started out with IUI (AI) with 2 attempts and failed. I had 2 myoectomies to remove fibroids and moved on to IVF. The first attempt, the transfer was cancelled due to embryos not surviving. The second attempt, was successful, unfortunately I lost the twins in the 2nd trimester. Now I have scar tissue and have to do a hysteroscopy before trying with the 3rd attempt.

With all the trying and failures, I will say this...its up to God. I am not giving up, but I am slowly difting from thiking "positive" to now thinking - it just may not happen.

 

[Lou32]

Hi everyone. Doesn't look like anyone's posted here for a while, which I suppose is a good thing.
Our second ICSI just failed. Completely heartbroken at the moment and not sure what to think other than scare myself into thinking it might never work. I've never ever been pregnant and I can't help but worry I just can't. It's terrifying. xxx