Support Group failed IVF/ICSI IUI or any failed assisted conceptions 2014

[mrssunshine78]

I'm so sorry your second cycle has just failed, my second one was cancelled, just waiting on af now so I can start my third. It is so heartbreaking so just wanting to send you big

 

[MagicStorm]

Our 8th cycle (FET) has just failed today.

I have posted my full story on a new thread on this board.

I'm sorry for anyone who is in this horrible situation.

One day we will get our miracles but sometimes it is hard to see the light.

MS x

 

[ACLIO]

Hi Ladies,
I've not been on for some time since our 1st failed ICSI cycle. I was wondering if I could join you. My DH and I are looking to start our 2nd cycle in a couple of months. I'm going to go back a few pages and try and read up on everyone. I really hope you don't mind me joining in

 

[mrssunshine78]

Magicstorm I'm so sorry for what you have been through, you must be an amazing strong person to get through all of that. I can't even begin to imagine how you must feel

Hi alcio good luck with your next cycle

 

[Del xx]

Hi girls,hope it's ok to join u.
We have just had our third fail and are totally devastated. I'm after any advice u habe about further tests before giving it another go.
Background info - we are both 29 and having to go through ivf with icsi as my partner was diagnosed with testicular cancer about a year and a half ago. We use frozen sperm for the treatment that was stored before oh was treated for the cancer. We have very limited supply left. We had our first ivf with icsi in Oct '10,transfered 2 embryos, march '11 had frozen embryo transfer,Aug '11 2 excellent quality embryos transfered;no frosties. They have all failed.
Any advice girls?? Xx

 

[Wallie]

Well I've just failed my second cycle of IVF. Had two top grade embryos transfered back and nada. I'm thinking of immune testing or certainly asking about it and if my clinic supports it. Maybe you could do that? Also, some ladies have had something called hidden C tested. Check out my journal for more info, there's a link in there on the last few pages.

 

[Lou32]

Hi everyone - so sad that we have to post here. It breaks my heart to be back on this thread.
Del - All I've thought about is what tests we should have after our recently failed ICSI. We have our follow-up appt next Tues (6 Sept) so I'll post what my consultant said. I'm going to insist on some tests, but just not sure which ones yet!
Take care everyone
x

 

[labmommy]

Sad to see some people I recognize and rooted for here. Hi Wallie, Del, Lou!
I'm waiting for AF. Hcg went down to 50 yesterday so it shouldn't be much longer. Re wants to wait one natural cycle before moving to FET after that. Gosh I hope the embies survive thaw...

 

[Wallie]

Sad to see some people I recognize and rooted for here. Hi Wallie, Del, Lou!
I'm waiting for AF. Hcg went down to 50 yesterday so it shouldn't be much longer. Re wants to wait one natural cycle before moving to FET after that. Gosh I hope the embies survive thaw...

I'm so sorry to see you on this thread too Labmommy. To admit the truth I was upset when you got your bfp and I didn't as I tested that same day. I knew that I was out but folk kept saying it was too early for a bfp, but I know you and others have got theirs very early. Although now I totally regret things and I'm so sorry you're pregnancy didn't work out. I think it'll actually be worse for you than a straight bfn as you're in limbo land just now.

I really hope your FET works for you though,

I've to wait at least 2 more AF's before they'll think about doing another fresh cycle. The waiting continues...

 

[Lolly1985]

Sadly some familiar faces. I have not been on here for quite a few weeks and I am so sorry to come back and see others are having to share this pain. I was on here this time about a year ago, and hoped never to be again. I'm glad that of anything, there are some amazing people who understand all the emotions that are stuck inside.

Lou sweetie, i'm so sorry you have found yourself back here again. Its cruel and not fair. I have often thought about how you have been getting on. I am so sorry I haven't been able to support you like you did me. I found everything too hard. I would often type the website in and delete it again. I hope that your follow up gives you some kind of plan to help you look forward. I have also thought about tests, I will be interested to hear what they tell you, although right now the thought of any more poking and prodding feels me with dread. All my love to you at this horribly difficult time

Wallie, I am sorry to see that your embies were taken from you. Its awful to have the hope stolen away. I would wish it on no one. Thank you for sharing info with everyone, is it bad that I'm too scared to read it? Thinking of you lovely.

Labmommy, what a horrible time you have had, I am just so sorry for what you have been through. I don't understand why bad things happen to good people and I guess never will. I keep coming back to the fact that its not fair. Hope you have wonderful support around you.

Del, so sad to hear that you have had to feel the heartache 3 times. You have been through tough times with DP and don't deserve this. The only advice would be what has been mentioned, immune testing. I don't know much about it and have consciously chosen not to up until now. But the fact we seem to all be coming back here after a few attempts shows maybe it is something worth knowing about. All my love to you.

ACLIO, good luck for your second attempt. It takes a strong person to stand up and do it again, you go girl!!

Mrssunshine I hope that you are doing ok. The waiting is a killer, I keepclinging to good things come to those who wait...

Magicstorm, what a strong strong lady you are. Sorry doesn't seem enough to say, it won't come close to soothing the feelings you have experienced. You are in my prayers.

Well, from september I can ring to sort out next course of action. So that was today and I thought about it, and chickened out. I feel angry at the thought of speaking to them. Not that I am mad at them or in any way blame them. the clinic and all involved are lovely. i think I am just angry that I have to do this again. In one breath I don't want to, I want to run away and never have to this of it again. But then its all I do think of, having a baby. And I need to be a mummy. So guess I will ring in the morning xxxxx

Lovee to you all xxxxxxxxxx

 

[Azreal]

Hello everyone
this is my first time on a forum... so many others I have read and found unsatisfactory for one reason or another...it is a HUGE relief to find people 'out there' who feel exactly the same way I do... have just had 4th failed IVF - 2 eggs retrieved but no fertilisation. 1st and 3rd cycles we had one embryo to transfer, 2nd cycle was a complete disaster like this one.
I am nearly 41 and DH 42 so time is certainly running out for us. We'll probably have another go in a couple of months and it that one doesn't work we may have to make THAT decision.
Just a note to those who are considering having extensive blood tests done - our FS ordered a whole raft of tests after the 3rd cycle - these included Karyotype, gluten intolerance, thyroid function and autoimmune amongst other things. Came back I have a positive ANA and raised thyroid antibodies - which the FS described as 'autoimmune tendencies'
Having a low ovarian reserve I wish we had these tests right at the beginning - I think each cycle is lowering my reserve even further. so YES talk to your FS about having these sorts of tests done!
Thanks to you all for posting - at least I know I am not going mad!

 

[mrssunshine78]

so sorry you've had another failed attempt, it must be so hard for you, you must be a really strong person to keep going Good luck for the future i really hope your next cycle works

i too have tried other sites, but this one is definitely the best

 

[Lou32]

Hi Azreal - So sorry you've had to post in this thread. It sounds like you've had a terrible time. Do you mind me asking what ANA is? And how do they treat it?
My doctor doesn't believe in immune tests at all, yet I've read about so many women who have these issues and it's made a difference to have them treated. It's so difficult to know what to do when the doctor is telling you it's a waste of money....
Good luck for your next go xxx

 

[Azreal]

Hello Lou32
ANA stands for anti nuclear antibodies - people who have lupus always have a positive ANA but not everyone who has a positive ANA has lupus - sometimes it can just be one of those things that your body produces (I have never had any symptoms)- it may have been preventing implantation. I did start on Prednisolone(steroidal anti inflammatory) with the last cycle to combat this but as we didn't get any embryos to transfer I don't know whether it would have been effective. Reading others posts and also yours re doctors and their reluctance to order tests I guess we were lucky to have a FS who suggested it in the first place.
It has been a tough time especially this last time. I was upset after the first 3 didn't work but seemed to get over it okay. This time I am having a lot of trouble dealing with it. We will have another try - we are lucky enough in Australia to get a fair bit of the fee back on Medicare so finances aren't really an issue - but I've pretty much given up hope of it ever working.
As much as none of us want to be on this thread it is nice to know that what I am feeling is pretty much 'normal' which is a huge help. Even if no one had read this or replied I felt better just writing it down.

 

[Lolly1985]

Hello everyone

Azreal i agree with you in that writing it down can help. There is only so many times I can cry to DP about the unfairness of it all. And even then I feel that being a man he couldn't understand all the ins and outs of such a personal and invasive procedure. Nothing against him, he is wonderful and I couldn't understand the way he feels, but that maternal instinct is so fierce that only another woman in the hearthbreaking position we are in can understand. I don't know if anyone agrees or not but its just how I read the situation He finds it hard to see me sad and gets angry at the situation so have to try and fight on.

I am so sorry to see you have had to do this 4 times. I am at a loss with 2 and you are such a strong lady. It must help to have a good doc on side. Good for you for one final push, I really hope you get to ET this time and all the additional meds help to support a healthy pregnancy. I have read with interest all the ladies stories about immune testing. I feel this may be an issue with me also. I have had 2 ETs, the first with 2 embies and the second with 1 best quality one. Both failed and the bleeding began a week to the day of ET which is surely too soon? Even if they didn't stick I thought that the progesterone would hold off AF for longer. These are definately questions I will be asking at my appointment on 22nd sept, but feel that as we are lucky enough to be NHS they may not come up with any solutions other than 'wait and see this time'.

I'm so sorry to hear that this go is hitting you so hard. Its such a cruel process and I can only offer you my thoughts and to say that we are all people who understand that hurt, you are not alone sweetie.

Hello to everyone, Lou, Sunshine, Wallie and all you other lovely ladies who sadly have had to post on this thread.

Love Lolly xxxxxxxxxxxx

 

[ILuvBabies200]

New to this section as I hadn't seen it before! We just failed an IUI w/injections cycle in July. It was devastating to say the least. And my RE is refusing to allow another one since I respond so strongly with my PCOS. We are getting a 2nd opinion with another RE this Wednesday. I am nervous as heck....

 

[Azreal]

Hi Lolly1985

Thanks so much for your kind words - however I don't think I'm brave at all. Fed up, frustrated and a bit lost Yes but brave? No

I agree with you re crying to the DH/DP. Mine has been more than understanding but I still don't think he really gets how upsetting this time was. Although I do feel a little bad that I wasn't able to give him the support as well - I just didn't have it in me at the time.

Good luck with your appt on the 22nd Sept - not that far away. Our orginal follow up appt was on the 19th Oct but I couldn't wait that long - it would have driven me crazy. Rang the clinic today to see if we could get an earlier phone consult (we live in the country) and the FS will be in our town this Wednesday and there was a cancellation so we got in! We've got a big list of things to go through - could take a while!
I hope you get some answers to your questions. I would certainly ask about immune testing. Are you going to have another go?

I have only used the progesterone once and my period came right on day 14. I then had some breakthrough bleeding about 2 weeks later - that's the only time I have ever had breakthrough bleeding ever. Sometimes I wonder what all this medication is doing to our bodies.

We'll probably have another in Dec or Jan. I want to talk to the DH about DHEA which is supposed to help with egg numbers and quality - but you do need to be on it for at least 3 months I think. We did try Saizen with the 3rd cycle (it is a growth hormone which can help with egg quality) but we saw no noticeable improvement and at $200 a vial (we needed 7 vials) I don't think we will use it again.

Sometimes I feel with all the reading I have done and things I have looked up on the internet I'm more of an expert than the doctors!:haha

Thinking of you all

 

[KittyCat82]

Hello ladies-we have just had our first failed IVF cycle and I must say I didnt expect to be feeling as bad as I am. We are unexplained and after the cycle went well but still BFN, we are almost more unexplained now. There was talk of doing some further tests for implantation (but I have been pregnant before so not so much) or DNA fragmentation but apparently not justified until 2 failed cycles. We paid for this one but we are going to try and get on the NHS list for the next one now.

Part of me wants to do it asap and part of me never wants to do another cycle. I think deep down I am scared now that I will never get pregnant-esp when the Dr's are saying there is no reason why I shouldnt be pregnant already.

How do you guys move on for now? x

 

[Ann27]

I'm not really a forum user and this is the first one I ever joined. Same as some of the other posts, I suppose it is just the need to communicate with somebody who understands or a way of "self-counseling".
I'm 41. We have been trying for 6 years and been through it all with Chlomid, IUI and IVF. We only had one go on the NHS which feels unfair - as so many other things - given that the general guideline is that you should have 3 goes and some councils allow more. Plus, we had to wait for 4 years! We seem to live in the wrong area and the GP actually suggested at the time that we move...
We just had our follow-up meeting (after failed IVF). Apparently, in spite of my age, we had a really good cycle, with 15 eggs collected and 3 blastocysts. They would not have put more than 2 back but we decided to have one due to previous miscarriage of twins. Clinic suggests to do another cycle but I don't think I can hack it, plus it seems a lot of money for possibly nothing - which we can't really afford.
Yesterday, my best friend told me she was pregnant. Although I'm happy for her, she was the only one I feel I could still talk to. Now, selfishly, feel completely abandoned and very very lonely. Don't know how to deal with this. We are considering adoption. Is anybody at that stage or has already adopted?

 

[Wallie]

Hello ladies-we have just had our first failed IVF cycle and I must say I didnt expect to be feeling as bad as I am. We are unexplained and after the cycle went well but still BFN, we are almost more unexplained now. There was talk of doing some further tests for implantation (but I have been pregnant before so not so much) or DNA fragmentation but apparently not justified until 2 failed cycles. We paid for this one but we are going to try and get on the NHS list for the next one now.

Part of me wants to do it asap and part of me never wants to do another cycle. I think deep down I am scared now that I will never get pregnant-esp when the Dr's are saying there is no reason why I shouldnt be pregnant already.

How do you guys move on for now? x

I feel the same, wot now, it went so well, just didn't get the desired result. Our first cycle was a bit of a disaster from fertilisation. We did get one embryo fertilize but on day 2, so with a bfn from that cycle it didn't feel quite as bad as the second, still bad but I had less hope for sure. I went into the 2nd cycle so positive, doing everything to keep me positive, good luck stuff etc and came out with nothing again...I wonder if we do it again will it work, will I ever be a mum... I don't want to not have family and grow old with no kids. I want to be pregnant, give birth and have a family...but I don't want to do IVF again either...

I am trying to be gentle on myself, be upset if I have to be but try and be happy when I can too. I don't want to be perceived as a miserable cow and be bitter about others having children.

So keep busy, do things even if you're not in the mood, so push yourself more.

I have a book although I've not finished it yet, but it does seem to help me, it's called Stop Thinking, Start Living, I think it's Richard Carlson who is the author.