Sure signs you are living in a canibal village

Census form reads "1000...999...998...997...996.." and has lots of crossing out in Biro

Villagers keep measuring your waist and shaking their heads

Everyone you meet says, "I'd love to have you for dinner soon!"

Keep finding sprigs of parsley on your pillow

Your house is at the corner of Hannibal and Lector

Your parents never tell you where the meatloaf comes from

Huge ladle next to the "hot tub"

Every time you take a nap, you wake up with someone chewing on your leg.

Diced carrots, cellery, and fresh parsley floating in the local swimming pool.

Local restaurant has overstock of fava beans and lentils

People are always telling you mustard is good for your complexion

Playboy magazines double as restaurant menus

The Denny's sign says, "Now serving Bob"

Billboards: "Pork. The Other Other White Meat"

Instead of white or dark meat, its "blonde or brunette"

Hannibal is re-elected as mayor for the third time

Is custom to wear nutrition info about you on your back.

Leader promises "A Chicagoan in Every Pot!"

Most Popular Book: To Serve Man (Its a cookbook! A COOKBOOK!!)

On your date, she asks if she can eat YOU