Surname help!!!

[michelleclare]

Hey ladies!
Well here my problem, i have 1 daughter who is 4 and when she was born she took her bio fathers surname. If i had the choice at the time she would have taken my name but he was abusing me physically and emontionally! I am now in a happy and loving great relationship and my daughter has nothing to do with her bio father(his choice). I cant change her name without permission from bio father but she is known by my name!
So with baby on way and me and my partner are not married its now time to decide what surname babe will take. We do plan on getting married in the next year or two but i was thinking about changing my last name and then giving my daughter the choice of staying the same or be known as my partners name??? She only knows my partner as her daddy and he has been there since she was a year old!
What do you ladies think?????

 

[PhoenixN]

I had a slightly backwards version of this. My brother and sister are a lot older than me and have a different dad. When my Mum left him (he was a drunk) and had me with my sperm donor (abusive) they had a different surname from me, my Mum and my sperm donor.

When my Mum ran away from him she changed my surname and hers by deed poll to the same as my brother and sister's (their Dad's name). Hope that made sense!

Weird I know, but I guess I understand why she did it.

If your DD's bio father doesn't have anything to do with her, surely he won't object to your OH adopting her legally? Then she can have his surname, so can new baby and finally you when you get married (or change your name sooner by deed poll if you prefer). HTH x

 

[rosie5637]

if it were me i'd give new baby your partners name as you will have that name once married. then give your dd the chance to change her name so she is the same.
if her bio father kicks up a fuss he can be overridded in the courts. maybe the threat of court will stop him from putting up a fight anyway

 

[tiggerz]

This is what we did, slightly different situ but may help you with new baby.

Me and OH were not married when we had our first child, as I was the one that was going to be taking him to the doc's etc etc I chose to call him by my surname and OH was named on the birth cert!! Then we had our second 7 yrs later - still unmarried, we had a dilemma, do we name baby 2 my name or OH as we were now planning on getting married. We eventually decided baby was to have my name and our sons name. We did eventually marry, as OH name was on the birth cert for both we were allowed to re-register their births! Not deed poll, literally the public record of their birth has been altered and they were both issued with new birth certs with my married name - now we are all of the same surname!!

So you could call baby after you then change it to your DH name upon marriage providing your partners name is on the original birth cert. With your child now I think I would be approaching ex and asking his permission to change the surname to your name for the time being, I can't see why he would not allow this if he has nothing to do with her. Plus the courts could override him anyway!!

 

[SeaThreePeeO]

You do not need your daughter's biological father's permission to change her name if he doesn't have Parental Responsiblity. Even if he does and refuses you can take the matter to court for them to decide which is in the best intrests of your daughter.

https://www.ukdps.co.uk/CanIChangeMyChildsName.html

Here is some information on when Parental Responsibilty is granted - Parental Responsibilty and the Law

Because the biological father of my daughter was not named on the birth certificate and had not obtained an order through the courts, I was within my rights to change my daughter's surname without his permission. Not that he would have noticed, we havn't seen him since she was 2 weeks old. She's now 13!