surnames

[Weenie19]

Hi ladies

My OH and I have a two year old and I am currently 19 weeks with number 2.

Both children have/will have my OH surname. Initially this was because we were talking marriage and I would take the same name after the wedding.

However, OH has made comments about there not being a need for a wedding as we already act like a married couple. ....this is a separate issue.

My main issue is that I want the same name as my children and have been seriously considering deed poll to take their name.

What do you ladies think? Is this something you would do? My OH is happy with this

Thanks in advance x

 

[alex_22]

If your not getting married then sounds like a good idea, it's what I would do I'm not married to my parter yet but can't wait to have the same name as my family x

 

[Mrsturner]

This is exactly what my sister did. Her and her OH never wanted to get married but, like you, she wanted the same name as her children. So she legally changed it and now most people just assume they're married x

 

[Weenie19]

Thanks girls. I think I'll do it but I'll go for Ms as my title just incase we do ever make it down the aisle - then I'll be officially a Mrs x

 

[mrsc81]

I would be pushing him to get married! No bigger commitment than having kids! That's just my opinion of course

 

[BigAl]

It does make the legal stuff more straightforward if you are married, even if you see it as a sign on the line exercise.
But yeah I would definitely think about changing my surname if not.

 

[kmac87]

I would be pushing him to get married! No bigger commitment than having kids! That's just my opinion of course

This!

 

[purplecupcake]

I agree, I don't see why he won't get legally married to you. It's more than just a commitment or sheet of paper. It legally entitles you both as a couple and you both as individuals to things you wouldn't normally be entitled to.

You don't have to have a big wedding if you don't want to, just go down to the courthouse.

 

[N27murray]

I would be pushing him to get married! No bigger commitment than having kids! That's just my opinion of course

This!

I agree with this as well. My brother uses this same argument to not marry his fiance...yes they're engaged but won't marry despite being together for 15 years, 3 kids, and they own a house together.
I think its a ridiculous cop out just because they don't want to feel "tied down", even though that makes no sense. Lol
I would NOT take on his name if there was no marriage. Of course he's happy with that idea because then you're doing all the changing and he doesn't have to worry about a thing. It won't affect his life at all. I'm a believer that kids should have their fathers last name but that's because I believe in marriage before kids.
think, if you and oh were married but later divorced, your name would change back but your kids would still have his name.
this is just my thought...i hope you really think about this before you make a decision

 

[phoenix333]

I would be pushing him to get married! No bigger commitment than having kids! That's just my opinion of course

I agree. I completely understand you wanting the same surname as your LO but what I have never understood is the 'marriage is just a piece of paper'' argument. If marriage isn't a big deal then I don't understand why you'd have problem doing it if it was a big deal to your partner.

If it were me i'd be pushing for marriage and explaining how important it was to me rather than wasting money on a deed poll.

 

[Roxie]

I would be pushing him to get married! No bigger commitment than having kids! That's just my opinion of course

totally aggree!

 

[imogenwanted]

Two of my friends changed name by deed poll so they have same name as kids one got married four years later other still not married hope this helps