Switched to formula last night =[ major guilt issues....

Discussion in 'Breastfeeding' started by kelseyyy, Aug 20, 2009.

  1. kelseyyy

    kelseyyy Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Jun 24, 2009
    Messages:
    426
    Likes Received:
    0
    Went out last night & got formula :cry::cry::cry::cry: I do not think LO is getting enough milk. with BF he will eat only around 2 mins 45 sec. and doze off to sleep, then wake up sometimes just 20 minutes later to be hungry again. but with a bottle he will eat about 2 ounces and sleep for sometimes 3 hours. he produces way more wet diapers (he was only producing about 2 every 3 or 4 days with BF) and he produces 2 about everyday now, and having more bowel movements. my hubby and mil and everyone tells me just to switch to formula because if he is not getting enough milk like i suspect then continuing BF is only hurting him. I've cried and cried and cried, as i feel insanely guilty for the switch...it has only been 7 days but if he is not eating enough, something has to be done. I must say it feels relieving to switch to formula no more pain or crying in the middle of the night when he has to eat and my nipples and breasts are so sore, but then i feel guilty for not being able to produce enough for him. i think at my young age of 17 and having a baby was kinda a shock that BF may just be too much for me and my body is not producing enough milk. someone please tell me its okay & im not the worst mommy in the world :(((( i just dont know what to do
    im about to cry :(
     
  2. becstar

    becstar Sleep is for the weak

    Joined:
    Aug 17, 2008
    Messages:
    3,373
    Likes Received:
    0
    /i can't advise you on the formula except to say you are not a bad mum because you chose it. I know you feel awful but you are doing what feels right for your child and should never ever feel guilty for that. hugs.
     
  3. Lu28

    Lu28 Aisling's mammy

    Joined:
    Mar 25, 2008
    Messages:
    13,085
    Likes Received:
    0
    Aww hon, I'm sending you huge :hug:

    You are not a bad mum at all, you're making sure your baby is healthy and well cared for, what could be better than that? If you would like to still give bfing a go though, maybe have a chat with your midwife or La Leche League etc who should be able to give you some specialised advice xxx
     
  4. Mervs Mum

    Mervs Mum Doula & Mum of 3!

    Joined:
    Dec 29, 2007
    Messages:
    21,585
    Likes Received:
    0
    Aww dont be daft! You're not a bad mummy!!! At the end of the day it's up to you want you do. All I will say is everything you describe is totally normal. :hugs:

    Do what makes you happiest xx
     
  5. elm

    elm Mama

    Joined:
    Apr 3, 2008
    Messages:
    7,219
    Likes Received:
    0
    :hugs: :hugs: :hugs: xxx

    You're not a bad mum whichever way you go :hugs:

    If your baby doesn't seem to be getting enough milk breastfeeding then I'm inclined to think that it's not because you're not producing enough milk but maybe for some other reason. Elliot wouldn't feed for very long at first at all and got dehydrated but that was because he was jaundice, I had pethadine which made him sleepy for a bit and he was tongue tied. If you're not ready to stop breastfeeding yet then like Lu said give the la leche league a ring or the nct helpline for some support and advice.

    La leche league - Helpline 0845 120 2918.

    nct Breastfeeding Line - 0300 33 00 771

    8am–10pm, seven days a week

    Call our Breastfeeding Line to talk to a qualified breastfeeding counsellor for information and support to help you breastfeed successfully.


    You've got nothing to feel guilty for at all but make sure you're making a decision you're happy with either way xxxxx
     
  6. CaitlinsNan

    CaitlinsNan New Member

    Joined:
    Jan 15, 2008
    Messages:
    0
    Likes Received:
    0
    you are a good mummy to Aidan. you are putting him and his wellbeing first.Don't listen to what other people think you should be doing. Listen to Aidan and what your instinct tells you to do for him. Just relax and enjoy your baby. keep up the good work.!!!!!!!!!!
     
  7. Genna

    Genna Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Dec 16, 2008
    Messages:
    1,696
    Likes Received:
    0
    :hugs: you are not a bad mom!!
    If you feel like this is what your baby needs, then don't let anyone judge you! Formula isn't the worst thing ;)
    Also, I'd like to ad that Marley wasn't producing very many diapers at first at all... It took a good couple weeks before they were sufficiently coming, lol..and also my milk didn't come in until day 5-... If you don't feel ready to give up on bfing yet, then let me know if you need any advise/help/support :hugs: You could always do both, bfing and ffing, but like I said, you do what YOU are comfortable with, you have support either way. :hug:
     
  8. Genna

    Genna Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Dec 16, 2008
    Messages:
    1,696
    Likes Received:
    0
    oh and I am 16 :hugs:
     
  9. jovi_girl

    jovi_girl Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Nov 14, 2008
    Messages:
    196
    Likes Received:
    0
    Big hugs to you sweetie. You need to do what feels right for you and your baby. Your his mummy, and you know whats best for him, and its very obvious that you love him very much to be so worried about him. Good for you.

    As the others have said, try to get some support with your breastfeeding if you decide to keep up with it. Dont forget, that it can be hard to tell how wet a disposable nappy (diaper) is because they are soooo absorbent. My best friend was advised to put a cotton ball in front of her lil mans penis and checked that every time she changed him to see if it was wet.

    Also, dont worry too much if baby is only eating for a few minutes then falling asleep. Thomas used to do the same thing...They have such small stomachs and breast milk breaks down quicker than formula, so its normal for them to wake up hungry, not long after you've fed them.

    Anyway, enough rambling from me. Be kind to yourself, and just remember, the first few weeks are the hardest! You'll get the hang of it all in no time and these early problems will be a distant memory!
     
  10. wishingonastar

    wishingonastar Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Sep 17, 2008
    Messages:
    8,284
    Likes Received:
    0
    aww honey, you're a great mum cos you're thinking of whats best for you and your little man...be it formula or breast milk :hugs:

    isabel is about a month older than your little boy so her early days are fresh in my mind! i remember she fed little and often for approx the first ten days then all of a sudden she leapt to 15 min sessions (though sometimes less and sometimes more) - i vividly remember the early sessions being so frequent cos my nipples hurt so bad i dreaded feeding and she wanted milk so often!!

    if you want to give bfing a bit longer then why not carry on til health visitor comes in another weeks time and then his weight gain will indicate if things are ok - if he seems generally content in between feeds then this could be a good plan...?

    but at the end of the day if you feel for his sake you should switch to formula now then its your decision as his mummy and whatever the decision you make it'll be the right one as both breastmilk and formula end up resulting in a happy healthy baby :hugs:
     
  11. Twist

    Twist Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    May 17, 2008
    Messages:
    508
    Likes Received:
    0
    :hugs:
    Not a bad Mummy at all!! You are obviously very aware of your baby's needs and are doing everything you can to make sure he gets enough food. :hugs:

    My LO was a seepy eater as well in the beginning so I will share with you some advice that the nurses gave me that can be applied whether you are BFing or FFing. I remeber the Nurse saying that during the first 3 weeks a baby doesn't yet have that "thing" inside them that tells them "you're hungry, Wake Up and eat!!" so it is important that we make sure they are eating at least every three hours, after three weeks the baby will be able to do this more on their own so it is ok if they go longer between feeds. Also, because my LO would start to nurse and then quickly fall asleep I was told that I had to do whatever I could to keep her awake, even if that meant being a little mean :blush:, I was told to brush her cheek with my finger, blow on her neck, massage her palm, or (when she really wanted to sleep and not eat) I would hold a cool cloth and when she would start to nod off and stop sucking I would touch her arm with the cloth. These tricks helped me a lot, she would stay awake and therefore suck longer, therfore, go longer between meals and also since she was taking more food in my milk supply increased as well.

    Also wanted to say that in the beginning I had to supplement with formula (for about two weeks) and pump as well in order to get my supply up, soooo if you do want to BF still then don't worry, there are definately ways to get you to the point where you can do that, so please don't feel bad about having to give formula right now as you obviously have to focus on your LO's health. And if you decide to go fully with FF then that is ok as well, I was raised on formula as was my sister and we are just fine :) In the end it has to be whatever works best for you. :)
     

Share This Page