Tantrums at 2.5 years+

Discussion in 'Toddler & Pre-School' started by Baby France, Nov 13, 2011.

  1. Baby France

    Baby France Me and my amazing babies!

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    My little boy has always been quite well behaved. We successfully started the naughty step at 16 months and it really did work.

    He's not being naughty as such, but he is having tantrums and having whinging and moaning fits if he can't get his own way.

    Its obvious there are massive changes in him at the minute. His face has changed and he looks more grown up (3 different family members in last week told me this). The pants he fit in at the beginning of the month are now at the top of his ankles and now his constant whinging when he can't get his own way.

    I know we are on the cusp of a big development and growth spurt. I want some help on the best way to deal with it. We've started a reward chart and I'm trying my hardest to ignore him when he really starts whinging.

    His whinging usually starts after he's been told he can't have something or if he wants to play with the toy his sister has.

    I'm really open to any other suggestions and advice anyone can give. Its the constant moaning that is really dragging me down.

    Thanks x
     
  2. isil

    isil Well-Known Member

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    I think when they just start being like your LO is being now, it is really hard and a massive eye opener...then all of a sudden they seem a lot more mature in their understand of things.

    My LO can still be hard work, but is a hell of a lot easier than he was just before he turned 3. I'd say for tantrums, the end of the 2s, begin of 3s were really the hardest bit for us, but I think it'll just be a few months for you and it'll get easier.

    The things I'd recommend are consistency, routine and keeping them informed on what's going to be happening! I think keeping up with the reward chart will help a lot. My LO likes his still. He always wants to know what we're doing today and to be kept up to date with how the day is going to plan out, iykwim.
     
  3. Baby France

    Baby France Me and my amazing babies!

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    Thanks!

    I'm back at work atm and the little ones are in nursery for 2.5 days a week. The other days OH has them and my mum has them for an afternoon.

    I think OH and I need to sit down though and have a proper chat about things. We want to get him potty trained and think I may book a week off work and spend the week with him too and get him established on what we will and won't accept. The one to one may do him the world of good too.

    There is definately some major changes though. You can see it in him!! I just want to do what is best by us all really. I want him to have the stability and safe place to feel secure and I want to be responsible for all the things implemented.

    I know OH would do everything we agreed, but I want to be heavily involved too.

    Thanks!
     
  4. isil

    isil Well-Known Member

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    The other thing is, I feel like boy has been quite vulnerable and easily upset through this period. It's a tricky one. Little boys really are very interesting! I suspect girls are too but I imagine I'll find it easier to understand it all with them lol (if I ever had one!). I think even if you don't get the potty training down (and tbh I wouldn't push it!) it'd be good to spend some one on one time with him when he's going through an emotional stage!
     
  5. zoe0504

    zoe0504 Well-Known Member

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    It's not just me then! I am in exactly the same boat, i just want to pull my ears off when LO starts whining. I can deal with crying and strops easily but the moaning gets on my nerves. I also work, full time, LO is in nursery 3 days a week, with my MIL one day and DH on a saturday. I feel that when i have my day in the week with him he seems to calm down easier and quicker than when he's around other people. I think he knows i won't stand for anything. It's harder where my MIL is concerned as she will answer to his beck and call just to quieten him. This frustrates so much as i feel all my hard work is being turned around in one day. Do you have any suggestions for this without offending MIL too much?
    If Oliver starts moaning i talk to him, explain what is going on and then ignore him completely untill he talks to me properly. It's as if every thing he wants he feel he has to moan for it. It grates me!
    How does your reward chart work? Do you reward for things like tidying or eating or behavioural things too? How does your little one understand if they have not been whinging iykwim? I'm not sure oliver entirely understands, or if he does but ignores me!
    Sorry for the long post!!
     
  6. xprincessx

    xprincessx Mum to 5 beauties <3

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    Hun I think the best thing to do it when he is having a tantrum try to get him to explain what he wants or ask him to show you what the matter is.

    At that age toddlers have tantrums because they get frustrated as they don't know the words to use to let you know they want something or something is bothering them so it really helps to try to get to the bottom of it.

    Here is an example I have seen on supernanny:

    - A 3 year old boy had 2 older siblings and they all got given an icelolly. The 2 older children had the same as each other but the 3 year old had a different one. He wanted the same as his siblings but didn't know how to communicate that so threw his lolly on the floor and had a tantrum.

    I would definitely be calm with him and ask him to try and explain or point to whatever it is he is upset about but it's a perfectly normal thing hun x
     
  7. Baby France

    Baby France Me and my amazing babies!

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    He can talk and I know what he is moaning about. It could be that he wants the toy his sister is playing with.

    Yesterday his sister was sat on a chair and he decided he wanted to sit on the same chair and knocked my dinner out of my plate in the middle of his paddy. He would usually be shocked and say sorry and help to clean up, but his paddy continued.

    He wanted the tv on the other day and we said no, we were getting ready to go out and he again had another paddy. We explain what we are doing and why he can't have it on, but he is still paddying, whereas before he would be ok with it?

    I completely understand that his paddys are purely that he isn't getting his own way. He is very good at talking about what he does and doesn't want.

    The reward chart is working. He enjoys choosing and putting a sticker up, but it only tends to be on the days that we're in the house. We tend to go out at the weekend, so I feel as though we've not got the proper consistency with it IYKWIM? Its got different parts on it...we have potty, tidying up, eating tea, brushing teeth and manners. We've never had a problem with his teeth or tea, but thought at least he would definately get a sticker. But some things seem aren't worth a sticker to him :shrug:
     

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