Teenage Dad

[z001]

Hello, so about 2 weeks ago I found out my girlfriend was pregnant. We're both 18 and live with my mom. I go to college full-time and have no job, and she'll have her HS Diploma before she gives birth.

I guess i'm on here because i'm scared as to what the future holds. I'm in college and doing extremely well with a 4.0, but unfortunately it's going to take me 2 years to get my AAS in Nursing, if not more!

I want to be a good father, unlike mine, and be in her life as well as our kids. I will do anything it takes, but i'm feeling very nervous to tell my mother, and i'm trying my hardest to get at least a part time job so we can move out on our own.

Also, she's 7 weeks along now... and I know I have time to get things settled, it's just a lot of emotions are going through me, it's like i'm the pregnant one!

 

[Younglutonmum]

Welcome to BnB

Well done for being a man & standing by your girlfriend. Trust me, in time emotions will calm & you'll think with a clear head.

As for your mum - tell her asap! I'm sure she'll take the news better than you could expect. Your her son & she loves you

 

[Waiting2bMommy]

Hi!

I'm sure you will be a great father. Its hard being young as i've had many cousins have babies very young but it can be done. You should def talk to your mom about it i'm sure she can be of some help. At least you have 8 months to try to work things out! Good luck and congrats on your bub.

 

[Angel2Fire]

First of all, credit to you for sticking by your girlfriend

Maybe you could keep going to college if your gf will have finished by then? It doesn't say where your from but would you be able to get any financial health with both being students? Or maybe help getting housing? It's definetly worth looking into.

I don't really know what else to suggest, but your in the right place for advice and support

I hope things go well for both you and your girlfriend

 

[z001]

Thanks so much for the support! I really hope all goes well, it's just a little weird knowing theres going to be something more important than myself soon!

 

[Jemma_x]

Welcome to Bnb

Its so good that you are sticking by your girlfriend. Im sure if you tell your mum she will take it better than you expect but id tell her asap as she may take it worse if you keep it from her longer

 

[Decosta1228]

From one potential dad to another. Congrats and I would tell your mother when your ready. Just take your time, you have 9 months.

 

[z001]

First of all, credit to you for sticking by your girlfriend

Maybe you could keep going to college if your gf will have finished by then? It doesn't say where your from but would you be able to get any financial health with both being students? Or maybe help getting housing? It's definetly worth looking into.

I don't really know what else to suggest, but your in the right place for advice and support

I hope things go well for both you and your girlfriend

I'm from Michigan. We will be able to apply for help from the state, but it just seems like it won't be enough... I mean, I got rent, insurance, baby things, etc. and all that making only $500 a month + help just seems like a long shot.

 

[maddiwatts19]

welcome to BNB!

congratulations on being a daddy to be and well done on sticking by your girlfriend!
i think its great your worrying, and that your trying to get a job!

good luck with everything, and i hope it all works out for you

 

[VanWest]

Well you your girlfriend will qualify for WIC(free cheese,milk,eggs, peanut butter or beans) now while she is pregnant and after most likely(free formula for baby ). She also should go to your local health department to apply for Medicaid, that way you won't have to worry about health insurance for her, I know here in the state of Florida I think she will have coverage for the baby for at least a year(I could be wrong on this)

 

[z001]

Unfortunately because we live with my parents she does not qualify for anything but medicaid, so the sooner we get out the better, as I don't want to put any more stress on my mother than what's going to be on her.

I figure if I get a job and get out, then everything should be tough, but better, from there. It's just a matter of getting a job in the hard times we face here in Michigan.

 

[kellysays2u]

Actually that is not true... with wic she can still get food if you need it even if she lives with your mom if she says that she is letting her live there with rent being chores...my guess is that she is feeding you both properly enough that you wont need it though. You can go to your local HUD for apartment and housing help although its a VERY long process...

I know all this cause I am almost 18 and had to leave my high school in order to move into my boyfriends apartment with him and get a job going. Its hard very very hard but there are a LOT of community help services available. Medicaid normally covers your wife for her entire pregnancy and a year after the baby is born and the baby will be put on your states childrens medicaid and covered for five years. WIC is REALLY easy to apply for once your on your own a lot harder when your living with your parents but it is still easy enough to get.

My best advice is DONT be afraid to ask for help. My boyfriend has been extremely embarassed about recieving government help and we are ONLY using EXACTLY what we NEED. He is mostly afraid because his father lives off the government and he doesnt want that for his life as he hates his drunken alcoholic of a father( as you can guess I dont like him one bit either lol).

But stay strong she can probably get free day care for her to continue school once the baby is born and there is a lot of help for her with college when and if she chooses to go. I have gotten my GED so now I am planning my college experience and although it isnt traditional in any since (no dorm life or big colleges or parties) it is a college degree and it is hard to get any substantial job without it... especially for females and even more young females with children.

I am so happy you are sticking with her my boyfriend was unbelievably scared at first and talked abortion so i am ecstatic that you are sticking by her decision through all of this.

Maybe have her join to. You dont even have to tell her your on it. Just tell her someone suggested it or something so that she can talk to everyone to... My boyfriends on here somewhere and we keep it private by not telling each other our screen names so that we dont know if were talking about each other lol.

Good Luck
Kelly

 

[glamgirl]

Didnt want to read and run, but i wish you all the best!

And welcome to BNB! Big

 

[amelia222]

Congrats on being a dad! You sound more responsible and mature that most 30 year old guys, so I'm sure than even though things will be tough, it was all work out for you.

 

[Novbaby08]

Congrats! and good job sticking by your gf. Most teen boys think its the girls problem, when really a baby took both to make. Just remember, everything your feeling, shes feeling it too. And I hope things work out for the best for you

 

[z001]

Actually that is not true... with wic she can still get food if you need it even if she lives with your mom if she says that she is letting her live there with rent being chores...my guess is that she is feeding you both properly enough that you wont need it though. You can go to your local HUD for apartment and housing help although its a VERY long process...

I know all this cause I am almost 18 and had to leave my high school in order to move into my boyfriends apartment with him and get a job going. Its hard very very hard but there are a LOT of community help services available. Medicaid normally covers your wife for her entire pregnancy and a year after the baby is born and the baby will be put on your states childrens medicaid and covered for five years. WIC is REALLY easy to apply for once your on your own a lot harder when your living with your parents but it is still easy enough to get.

My best advice is DONT be afraid to ask for help. My boyfriend has been extremely embarassed about recieving government help and we are ONLY using EXACTLY what we NEED. He is mostly afraid because his father lives off the government and he doesnt want that for his life as he hates his drunken alcoholic of a father( as you can guess I dont like him one bit either lol).

But stay strong she can probably get free day care for her to continue school once the baby is born and there is a lot of help for her with college when and if she chooses to go. I have gotten my GED so now I am planning my college experience and although it isnt traditional in any since (no dorm life or big colleges or parties) it is a college degree and it is hard to get any substantial job without it... especially for females and even more young females with children.

I am so happy you are sticking with her my boyfriend was unbelievably scared at first and talked abortion so i am ecstatic that you are sticking by her decision through all of this.

Maybe have her join to. You dont even have to tell her your on it. Just tell her someone suggested it or something so that she can talk to everyone to... My boyfriends on here somewhere and we keep it private by not telling each other our screen names so that we dont know if were talking about each other lol.

Good Luck
Kelly

Thank you so much for this, this is exactly what I was looking for. Nothing else I was looking up put it into easy to understand words.

I'm glad i'm sticking by her too. I know that it takes 2 to make a baby and it's not the kids fault. So abortion is out of the picture, we both agreed on that, and adoption is probably the best choice but i've always lived up to my mistakes and I feel that I owe this child the best life that I can give to it.

Thanks everyone for the support, I don't know how much I can thank you but know that I am scared and any support, even if I don't know you, makes the days easier for me.

I will suggest she joins, I'm sure she can use the support as well. I know that it's hard, but I know if we get through it and I get my degree it'll turn out better!

 

[happyfamily123]

Your outlook on this is very mature and honorable- I think a lot of us are impressed! I know it's hard to have a baby young. I had my son at 20 and while things can be hard it's an amazing thing. It is possible to work, school, and have baby. I'll be graduating this next spring. You should apply for financial aid with your schooling- you can get all kinds of grants and loans. I get more than I need for just school to help cover living expenses since I can't work as much. Apply for medicaid and like the others have said- WIC is easy to get on.

My parents are conservative and mormon and believe they weren't happy finding out I was pregnant but your mom is still your mom and might just surprise. Even if she's mad, eventually she should warm up to the idea that she'll have a grandson or granddaughter soon : )