Teenager daughter - really moody

[Pixie71]

Hi
I have a daughter who turned 13 in January and a son who was born two weeks later. My daughters father and I split when I was pregnant with her and we now live with my partner of 6 years.

My daughter is so moody at the moment and is just like the character "Kevin" in Harry Enfield shows. Her behaviour and cheek goes on at school as well and we have had complaint forms home and a meeting with teachers too!

I cant say anything without her biting my head off and I am getting more and more fed up with it.

Anyone got any tips on how to deal with her?
Thanks
Pixie

 

[Laura2919]

Oooh, Could it be because of your son or because she is feeling a bit left out??
Do you do things just you and her? Take her to the pictures or shopping.

Having girls is far from easy! I have all this to come.. Maybe she wants to feel like your daughter when you didnt have another child.. However hard it seems she may just want some time with you..

If its not that could it be boy trouble, friend trouble, or a bit of both.. I dont really know what to suggest..

I hope you sort it soon

 

[shocker]

Ive always thought that every teenager ends up behaving like kevin at some point!! When your 13 the littlest problems seem like life or death situations, shes probablly got a lot going on between friends and just growing up.I agree with Laura though its quite possible shes just feeling left out with everything, I remember when I was younger and if my mum was busy doing something else i'd assume she didnt have time for me, ridiculous but thats teenagers! If you can then I'd say try and put aside one afternoon every week or two weeks to just go out and enjoy yourselves together, when she sees your making an effort to make time for her im sure she'll be more open about anything that might be bothering her.Good luck x

 

[Pixie71]

Took her shopping yesterday and baby was asleep all the time, treated her to a few bits n pieces so hopefully she enjoyed that, andI will try to do morewith just her, thanks ladies

 

[nikkip75]

I know what your going thru

my daughter is 14 (15 in nov)and shes like a split personallity! one day shes lovely, cant do enough to help then the next she hates everyone. Especially her 4 year old sister, she will actually tell her she hates her which is so sad because my 4 year old loves her to bits. Shes great in school tho and her teachers always say how lovely she is i ask them if they are talking about the same girl!

I do try and do things with her like shopping, it helps but only for a day or 2 then its back to normal. I think its just teenagers hun, they are all the same. Everyone i know with teenagers says the same. We just have to ride the storm and hope they come thru the other end as good decent adults.

And who said the terrible 2s where bad!! they obviously havent had a teenager yet

 

[shocker]

I know what your going thru

my daughter is 14 (15 in nov)and shes like a split personallity! one day shes lovely, cant do enough to help then the next she hates everyone. Especially her 4 year old sister, she will actually tell her she hates her which is so sad because my 4 year old loves her to bits. Shes great in school tho and her teachers always say how lovely she is i ask them if they are talking about the same girl!

I do try and do things with her like shopping, it helps but only for a day or 2 then its back to normal. I think its just teenagers hun, they are all the same. Everyone i know with teenagers says the same. We just have to ride the storm and hope they come thru the other end as good decent adults.

And who said the terrible 2s where bad!! they obviously havent had a teenager yet

My sister was exactly the same to me when she was a teenager, we shared a room and literally every morning for about a year she'd throw my clothes into the hall and tell me to get dressed out there because it was her room I think its just a part of the teen years with a younger sibling lol, younger sisters steal your hair clips, lose your favourite things and just are generally a menace in the eyes of a big sister! lol dont worry about it, we're both really close now and we just winge about the oldest one

Im glad ye had a good day yesterday! sounds like fun

 

[Dinoslass]

It might be the baby, but far more likely it is just her age. I have three teenagers, one daughter and she is ten times worse than the two boys together.
All you can do is keep strict rules and try not to get upset about the way she is acting. Hard, I know!

Good luck!

 

[DottyLottie]

It is probably a lot to do with her age, my eldest is barely 11 and she already has "Kevin" moments quite often!

I expect she is feeling a little left out since the new babe arrived, and can't be easy for her with the split either - especially if it has been an upsetting time for you.

Try and spend some quality time with her, just you and her, even if it is jst a walk to the park for an hour, she probs just missing her busy ma.
It works with my "Kevin" anyways, quality time seems to be a heal all for her.

I think folks underestimate how much kids react when things change, get difficult or become stressfull, they haven't always got the emotional intelligence to articulate how they are feeling and talk about it, so they act it out in other ways.
I try not to be cross with my kids when they are being monkeys, there is usually always an underlying reason, cause deep down, I know they are good kids.

I feel bad for not spending as much time with them as I should (I work 14 hr days at mo!), cause really, time seems to make most things better.

I hope your daughter settles down, good luck

 

[Lucky.M]

I have a son who is 14 just the same! He stresses me out so much, babies are so much easier than teenagers. I don't know there is a magic way to deal with them, but if you do find out please let me know lol