Telling FOB Bbay is Here?

[Younglutonmum]

Me and my ex split up when I was around 13 weeks pregnant. At first I was keeping him up to date with the odd text despite the fact that he didn't reply. I've bumped into him in town & he's walked straight by me. So basically there has been zero contact. Now my question to the single pregnant mummas who've also had no contact with the dad - do you plan to let the dad know when baby has arrived & how soon after babys arrival??

I ask this because at the moment in time I don't want to. Not out of spite but if he's going to show no interest why the hell should I? When I was pregnant with Maya, me & her dad split but he still kept in contact. It wasn't loads of contact but it was something & he contributed to the baby stuff, again not a lot but at least it was something. This babys dad has told me he isn't paying a penny until the baby is here & even then it will be through the CSA & he'll drag it out. So with Maya she was literally half an hour old & I had my mum text her dad. What ruined the day was the fact that he didn't acknowledge that text, didn't acknowledge her birth. I do not want to put myself through that. I know deep down i'll let him know i've had the baby because im a decent person but would it be wrong of me to hold off for a few days? I want those early days to be about me, my baby & my family. Not getting wound up that once again im being ignored!

 

[babybambi2011]

i say you enjoy the time you have with your new baby. he obviously isnt interested and i dont think he deserves the privelage of knowing he is a father. in my opinion i wouldnt ruin a beautiful day by texting him and getting annoyed when he doesnt reply. hell find out one way or another. just concentrate on your new family and bonding with your new baby. xx

 

[emlubu]

I say tell him but maybe the day after the baby is born because as soon as you have had the baby your not going to b wanting
To do much anyways other then care and look after then!!! U do it on your terms love!!

 

[amotherslove]

if my FOB doesnt get his act together and stop basically ignoring me... i wont tell him ever.. if he does want to be somewhat around i wont be telling him until we are out of hospital or maybe for the first week.

 

[whoops]

I emailed FOB the day after I got out of hospital - she was born on the Saturday, so it ended up being the Wednesday before I told him. And it took another email and a couple of weeks for him to actually reply.

I had planned on giving him a call after she was born, but like you, I didn't want to in case I got a bad reaction and it ruined my memories of those first few hours.

 

[jessrabbit]

I have been thinking the same, although I am a few weeks behind you and this is my first. Like you I'm worried about a bad or no reaction, who knows what the right thing to do is xx

 

[SophiasMummy]

I told my LOs dad about 24 hours after but I only told him so quick because she was really ill and in neonatal so thought he had a right to know so he could come a see her, all I got was a text back saying hope she gets better soon and he didnt bother coming to see her until 6 weeks later, was a complate waste of a text really I wish I hadnt bothered x

 

[xAmiixLouisex]

When the baby's born I plan to send a picture message to close friends with baby's details. Like (baby's name) born on ___ at __ o clock weighing ____. My FOB isn't interested what so ever. But I decided to also forward the text to him. I don't want it to ever be able to come back on me that I didn't tell him, or didn't try to get him involved.

 

[kirst1805]

I told FOB she had arrived.. didn't hear anything back for a few months though and he's still never seen her.

 

[Younglutonmum]

It's a difficult one isn't it?? Like I said, I will tell him but in my own time. He knows my due date so if he had any interest I should hear from him. Time will tell I suppose!

 

[elsmogro]

I know it sounds harsh but im not going to bother telling FOB when bubbs arrives.
If he was so interested he would have asked how she has been doing the last 25 weeks since we split, he will find out from mutual friends probably but i want to enjoy caring and bonding with my new baby. If he is bothered he will get n touch, if not then his loss.

 

[teal]

My ex/fob broke up with me when I was 4 weeks pregnant because I was keeping my baby (he did try to push me into a termination). I didn't hear anything aside from some, not so nice, emails around xmas. He moved and changed his phone number etc so I couldn't contact him. While the emails were being exchanged at xmas I offered repeatedly to email him once I had the baby but he said no. After my son was born I did send an email but it came back as undelivered so it looks like he changed his email address so I was out of options.

My son is now 18.5 months old and I've not seen fob since June 2009. He doesn't even know he has a son.

 

[darsilver1]

I emailed FOB the day after I got out of hospital - she was born on the Saturday, so it ended up being the Wednesday before I told him. And it took another email and a couple of weeks for him to actually reply.

I had planned on giving him a call after she was born, but like you, I didn't want to in case I got a bad reaction and it ruined my memories of those first few hours.

Thanks for posting this. You just gave me another reason to confirm my decision of not telling my LO father of when she is born. I often contemplated over my decision for some time but due to recent events decided against telling him. I didnt think of the fact that the LO birth needs to be of good memories and contacting or trying to contact LO father will aggravate me. Which means tarnished memories. Also I figure he will find out about LO birth when he gets those child support papers served to him.

 

[Fraggles]

I never told the ex, I guess when he got a letter from the csa he knew

 

[emf81]

I never told the ex, I guess when he got a letter from the csa he knew

Thats not a bad idea! Did say the baby wasn't his? I'v been ignoredsince may but am expecting that to be thrown at me xx

 

[Fraggles]

I never told the ex, I guess when he got a letter from the csa he knew

Thats not a bad idea! Did say the baby wasn't his? I'v been ignoredsince may but am expecting that to be thrown at me xx

oh we had the whole he wasnt the father etc etc refused dna, not thats he bothers to pay for his children

 

[Aidan's Mummy]

I would tell him hun that way he can't use it as an excuse not to see the baby xx