Telling older children

[harveygirl]

Just wondering what stage did you tell your other child/children? Just had 11 week scan and all looks good, however we are not planning on telling DD for another good few weeks as still feel it would be very early and she will be asking all the time. She is four and a half.

 

[Kmx]

I'm desperate to tell my LO but I know for my own sanity I need to hold off telling him as he will ask constantly. I still haven't told my family yet and was going to use him to announce (t shirt or something) but I don't want other family to announce to him at the same time. So I'm not sure what to!

 

[harveygirl]

We have told our parents and have told two of my close friends but that is it. Will have to tell DD around the same time as we tell everyone else- ppl at work etc as she will only blab to them.

 

[louisianagirl]

Just wondering what stage did you tell your other child/children? Just had 11 week scan and all looks good, however we are not planning on telling DD for another good few weeks as still feel it would be very early and she will be asking all the time. She is four and a half.

My son is 4 and we told him that there is a baby in momma's belly at 12 weeks...this past Sunday. We didn't want everyone else to know and not him. Within an hour of telling family members, everyone was calling him "big brother". Honestly, he has told me that he doesn't like babies and that he would go live with grandma if we got a baby. So I felt like the sooner the better to adjust him to the idea.

 

[Kmx]

Yeah I'm also wary about that. As soon as I tell my LO he will probably be telling everyone. We were thinking about videoing his reaction but it will probably be a complete anti climax where he won't even react

 

[LilFooshFoosh]

With my second pregnancy we told DS at 12 weeks before we told anyone else (besides my mum who knew right away...and blabbed to my dad). I'm glad we told him even though we had a 2nd tri loss, as at least he knew why Mumma was in the hospital.

With DD we waited though, until 18 weeks, then told DS then everyone else (except my parents, who knew again). DH's fam was told at 19wks, extended fam at 20wks. No one hassled us about it, they were all really excited.

Part of our delay was due to the loss but in part it was because with our 2nd DS asked everyday after he found out whether the baby was ready yet. My parents live 5 doors down, helped care for DS during our loss and would never dream of telling anyone until we gave the go ahead, so we were comfortable with them knowing.

With DD's name (similar situation as we weren't telling until birth), DS did know and totally blabbed to everyone but most ppl didn't catch on and DH and I just pretended he didn't say anything.

Moral of my story, whenever you are comfortable with her and everyone else knowing.

 

[Spiffynoodles]

I told my DD pretty early on last time around, and she did better than I thought she would, as far as bugging me about when the baby was coming. This time we're going to try and wait until 12 weeks to tell everyone, so we have to wait until then to tell her, or else she'll tell everyone she meets. But I won't wait any longer than that, because she'd find out anyway at my OB appointment, and I'd rather tell her myself!

 

[Al Syr]

We told my son and daughter at 9 weeks. My son understands, my daughter kinda.

 

[callmedan]

just a word of warning, i work in a school with 4/5/6 year olds and we have children coming in telling us mummy has a baby in there tummy all the time! and when we ask the parents they tell us yes but only about 6 weeks along!
i guess they are just so excited to be big brothers & sisters!

 

[princess2406]

We told our ds just after our 7wk scan. He does mention about the baby in mummy's tummy every day lol! We wanted him to be the first to know before our immediate family and we have just returned from an 11night holiday so there was no chance of him blabbing to family or friends. We told my dad and brother on Thursday and are announcing to the rest of our immediate family this weekend!

 

[Lynys1980]

I went for an ultrasound two weeks ago, but they changed the appointment time the morning of and husband wasn't due back into town until AFTER the new time, so I had no one to watch my four year old and had to bring her along. She had seen what was going on on the screen and saw the photo of the ultrasound. When I was pregnant with her, I had about 30 ultrasounds, so she has seen all of those photos and knows what they are, so she just knew and asked me if I had a baby.

That said, she doesn't talk about it often. She knows not to jump on/hurt mommy because of the baby, and she hasn't told anyone about it because I told her it was a secret. We didn't plan on telling her until later on when we told everyone, but the appointment thing kind of ruined that plan. So, it's a secret between the three of us and some close friends of mine.