Telling the FOB

Discussion in 'Pregnancy - First Trimester' started by helen_beee, Nov 18, 2011.

  1. helen_beee

    helen_beee Mammy and Oliver

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    Hi everyone, I'm new here and this is my first post.

    I am 6w6d pregnant and have known for a week now that I'm expecting. However, I am keeping it very low key and telling very few people (this site is a lifesaver as now I can talk about it as much as I want to!) and tomorrow I will be revealing all to the FOB.

    Our situation is slightly unconventional and in all honesty I don't know him very well. I got pregnant after a one night stand and was extremely shocked when I got a BFP. I know he is the father as he is the only person I have had sex with in a long time and I'm certain that I will continue with the pregnancy regardless of his involvement. What I am unsure about is how to tell him. He is coming round mine tomorrow for a cuppa and I don't know what to expect when I tell him.

    Does anyone have any helpful hints or tips for handling the situation?
     
  2. mom and ttc

    mom and ttc Well-Known Member

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    just say i am pregnant and you are the dad ... i would not make a big deal out of it since you dont know him well. obviously it wasnt planned...
    i dont judge, but why did you guys not use protection on a one night stand?
     
  3. NannyWhitney

    NannyWhitney Mommy to Gloria

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    I've never been in the same situation, but I didn't want to R&R. I would just be honest with him, and tell him exactly what you said on here...that you're planning on having the baby no matter what. Hope it all goes well!
     
  4. notmommyyet

    notmommyyet Well-Known Member

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    I just wanted to tell you to be prepared. He might say its not his. I watch a lot of maury and all he does are paternity tests so Ive seen how nasty men can get. But he may be happy, maybe he wants kids. But no doubt it will be a shock to him and hes going to ask you if your sure it is his. Does he know you want to talk to him about something or does he thinku guys are just hanging out? If he thinks u guys are just hanging out then find a way to bring up children with him. Like watch tv theres always baby commercials on and just ask if hes ever thought about. then you can gauge his opinion. However if he says he doesnt want them you will be stressed. maybe he doesnt know he wanted them until you tell him. I wouldnt tell him you dont need his involvement cause thats just giving him a way out. I would tell him and say i hope you will be a part of your childs life. He may need time to think about it. I wish u the best!
     
  5. helen_beee

    helen_beee Mammy and Oliver

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    @mom and ttc

    I actually refused to have sex with him unless he wore a condom which is why I was so shocked at the BFP. Something, somewhere, somehow didn't work as it should have done!

    @Nanny Whitney

    Thank you :)
     
  6. notmommyyet

    notmommyyet Well-Known Member

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    Oh honey your in for one heck of a ride. Theres no way hell believe it. I know I wouldnt. Even though we all know condoms can fail he will think theres a better possibility that its somebody elses.
     
  7. helen_beee

    helen_beee Mammy and Oliver

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    @notmommyyet

    Thanks for the advice. I've told him that I need to meet with him asap to talk to him about something important so I think he might have an idea!
     
  8. Luna

    Luna Mum of two

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    Just be honest. Don't expect a good reaction initially. He'll be shocked!
     
  9. 2011Excited

    2011Excited Well-Known Member

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    I'm not sure HOW I would tell him.. but I think it's great you are telling him. He may be very excited about having a child.. he might need some time to think it over... and come to terms with the fact his life is about to change.. so try to keep the emotions tight until you both can wrap your minds about it, and revisit the conversation again in a few days.

    That is my best advice on this matter. :p Good Luck girlie! I hope it works out just as you wish it to! :flower:
     
  10. mom and ttc

    mom and ttc Well-Known Member

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    oh by the way ... my husbands reactions ...
    #1 : on the phone ... are you sure? well call me back when you talk to a doc about it
    #2: ended in MC ... shut the fuck up ...
    after hitting his head with bat every day ...
    #3: i put a bis sister on my dd ... oh .. does that mean you pregnant, then well congratulation .... glad that wasn;t the fakest reaction of all ...
     
  11. NickyNack

    NickyNack Mum of 3 girls, soon 4!!

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    Be prepared for a DNA test - as I don't think he will take it on your word (from personal experience!!)

    Stress he can be as involved as he wants and there's no pressure and good luck to you, let us know how you get on :hugs:
     
  12. helen_beee

    helen_beee Mammy and Oliver

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    Thank you everyone for all your help and advice :)

    I was worried people may judge me for getting pregnant from a one night stand but i'm not normally that kind of person! Usually oh so responsible with my head screwed on. But I am now really excited about everything, me and an ex tried for a while to get pregnant but nothing happened so even though the situation isn't ideal I'm embracing it fully :)

    I shall let you all know how it goes!
     
  13. biliboi2

    biliboi2 Well-Known Member

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    Good luck!
     
  14. Tonka106

    Tonka106 Well-Known Member

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    Best of luck telling him! I hope he's a decent guy and takes responsibility for his child :)
     
  15. mommyof5

    mommyof5 My Eggo is Prego

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    Good luck!
     
  16. BostonGal

    BostonGal Well-Known Member

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    It will probably be shock for him since no one ever expects birth control to fail. You will definitely learn a lot about his character from how reacts. Good luck!
     
  17. Dimples81

    Dimples81 Well-Known Member

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    BC fails, what's there to judge? x
     
  18. esst

    esst Well-Known Member

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    I would just be honest and direct with him. Like others have said, he may not believe you and you should prepare yourself for that.
     
  19. TabbyCakes

    TabbyCakes Pregnant 2nd trimester ;)

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    Good luck sweetie. I hope he is a good guy and accepts whats going on and mans up :)
     
  20. IrishGirl

    IrishGirl Katies Mam&Expecting

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    Just wanted to wish you luck hun:)Prepare for him to be in shock!!He might need time to take it all in xoxoxox
     

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