arturia
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- Nov 19, 2015
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Hi ladies, looking for advice. (again)
For reference, I'm a software developer for a small company. EDIT: Also Canadian.
I'm trying to figure out if I should tell work right away. I am 6 weeks today and haven't had a scan, so I still am in that 'high odds of miscarriage' territory. I haven't had any bleeding as of yet, so I feel odds are good I'll see a little heartbeat on the monitor come Monday when I have my first scan at the OB.
But relating to that appointment, my OB office (and almost certainly the usual ultrasound clinic) seem reluctant to schedule me for any appointments other than the slot I've gotten assigned to, so inevitably I'm going to be out for appointments VERY often for the coming months. I can almost guarantee that when my boss decides to look at the out-of-office calendar, he'll figure it out in fairly short order.
I don't feel it overly likely work will treat me much different, despite the fact that it's a male dominated environment. It is otherwise casual enough and small enough (we have 15 employees) that people are likely to understand, since we all deal with each other on a personal basis. We've had a few moms in the past. (not many) One is one of the other software devs. Her child is 5-ish, and was born before my time, so I can really only infer from evidence that she had him while working here. (they told me at the interview that they hadn't hired any devs for 8 years.) She works full time now, no problems with her career. The other is a mom who was working part time while I was here. She left so shortly after I started that I never really met her.
Really my concern is what happens if I do have a miscarriage later. Awkward.
I'm really only discussing telling my boss and HR (need to know) before 12 weeks. I was thinking of holding off telling everyone unless I got really bad morning sickness, but seeing my appointment schedule I'm reconsidering.
So my question is when and how. Any advice?
Thanks in advance.
For reference, I'm a software developer for a small company. EDIT: Also Canadian.
I'm trying to figure out if I should tell work right away. I am 6 weeks today and haven't had a scan, so I still am in that 'high odds of miscarriage' territory. I haven't had any bleeding as of yet, so I feel odds are good I'll see a little heartbeat on the monitor come Monday when I have my first scan at the OB.
But relating to that appointment, my OB office (and almost certainly the usual ultrasound clinic) seem reluctant to schedule me for any appointments other than the slot I've gotten assigned to, so inevitably I'm going to be out for appointments VERY often for the coming months. I can almost guarantee that when my boss decides to look at the out-of-office calendar, he'll figure it out in fairly short order.
I don't feel it overly likely work will treat me much different, despite the fact that it's a male dominated environment. It is otherwise casual enough and small enough (we have 15 employees) that people are likely to understand, since we all deal with each other on a personal basis. We've had a few moms in the past. (not many) One is one of the other software devs. Her child is 5-ish, and was born before my time, so I can really only infer from evidence that she had him while working here. (they told me at the interview that they hadn't hired any devs for 8 years.) She works full time now, no problems with her career. The other is a mom who was working part time while I was here. She left so shortly after I started that I never really met her.
Really my concern is what happens if I do have a miscarriage later. Awkward.
I'm really only discussing telling my boss and HR (need to know) before 12 weeks. I was thinking of holding off telling everyone unless I got really bad morning sickness, but seeing my appointment schedule I'm reconsidering.
So my question is when and how. Any advice?
Thanks in advance.