Terrified... suggestions?

[ahcigar1]

I have a huge huge worry. And it has been bothering me since the beginning of pregnancy almost. And my mom isn't helping on the matter cause she keeps saying how she thinks this baby will be as large as me if not larger when born.

Every baby born in my family has been very large. Like over 9lbs. Can't go by what my husband weighed when he was a baby because he was born a preemie so really have no idea what he woudl have been, but he isn't really that small of a guy. And when I was born I was almost 11lbs. My mom says I shouldn't worry about it at all cause she had me just fine and my SIL had hers just fine, but both of them are larger women so naturally they have more room in the hips and pelvis area. My other SIL on the other hand though is smaller framed like me and she had to have csection cause doctors waited too long and so baby was too big to push out, and when he came out he was litterally squashed in there he had NO more room whatsoever. His head was completely squashed his ears were flapped over from being folded for too long, and it took him at least a week to be able to straighten completely out cause he was so limited in his movement for so long.

I tried asking about this a couple appointments ago and my doctor at the time just blew it off as nothing to be concerned about. But I really am terrified that if I go past my due date then I'll have no choice but to have c-section like my SIL because baby will be too big.

Are there any suggestions on how to get the doctor to listen to my concerns on this matter? Or is there a way to actually check the measurement of pelvis in regards to the baby's head to see if would even fit? I know I probably sound crazy but I am trully terrified and is really beggining to bother me more and more as due date gets closer. I even am having nightmares about it now that are causing me not to get much sleep. And then hearing someone else on here who's baby was so big broke the collar bone coming out or nearly broke it or something like that, I don't want that happening to my LO, I would feel horrible.

 

[mrsslithers]

i was told by midwife that the fathers weight at birth plays a good role too and my oh was over 10lb born and i was 5lb 13oz and my daughter was only 7.11 born and was told this one will be under 8lbs so unless ur living off of kfc and macdonalds then u shud b fine haha

 

[Cuffy]

I was 6lb and had a baby over 9lbs. There is very little you can do to influence it what will be will be however my epidural made my delivery possible and actually not to bad I was expecting much worse and that was before I knew what an elephant he was lol. Good luck-a scan should tell you all you need to know!

 

[luvmyfam]

If your Mom was able to deliver a large baby, chances are you will be too. The size of the pelvis has nothing to do with the size of the person, it is actually based on the shape of the birth canal, which is hereditary. My MIL is a large woman and had trouble delivering an 8 lb baby due to the shape of her pelvis. On the other hand, maybe you can ask your doctor/midwife to do an ultrasound closer to delivery to estimate size.

 

[romeo.juliet]

If it is a big concern to you then tell your dr that. Tell him this is a very important issue to you and you would really like to discuss it and know what your options are. If he starts to sweep it under the rug tell him you NEED an answer and whatever he's saying to brush it off is not acceptible. Don't be afraid to push your concerns on your dr and make them help you confront the issue. That's what they're supposed to be there for.

 

[ahcigar1]

If it is a big concern to you then tell your dr that. Tell him this is a very important issue to you and you would really like to discuss it and know what your options are. If he starts to sweep it under the rug tell him you NEED an answer and whatever he's saying to brush it off is not acceptible. Don't be afraid to push your concerns on your dr and make them help you confront the issue. That's what they're supposed to be there for.

Thanks. I guess at my appointment on Wed I will need to get more demanding on the issue and insist on some result, knowledge, a check, something. Anything would make me feel better at this point.

 

[lynnikins]

my mother is a small woman 5ft 4 inches and had 2 over 10lb babies with no difficulty, your pelvis is designed to flex and move during delivery and if you are as upright as possible ( kneeling or squating or even standing) you have a much better chance of having your LO naturally than if your on your back as your tailbone can move back out of the way of baby's head. i know im expecting a 10lb baby or something in that range ds2 was really long and 10lb 12oz he was quite squished up in there with no room to uncross his legs for weeks poor guy but hes fine now and has had no problems because of it. shoulder dystocia is rare there are slightly higher chances if your baby is bigger but if you dont have GD then it really is extremely rare to grow a baby that is too big to give birth to.

https://www.bigbaby.org.uk/ try this site for some help

 

[princesskiki]

I have big babys. My mw said its to do with ur shoesize. App thats0the width of ur pelvis. Ur dr etc can't be to concerned. Gl xx

 

[Sini]

My mom, gran and aunties have struggled giving birth naturally to bigger babies due to bone structure. Mw and dr said I should be fine which isnt too reassuring!

 

[lynnikins]

your pelvis cant really be measured as it will stretch to accomodate baby and babys head will mold to your pelvis during birth CPD ( having a too small pelvis ) is very rare for women who dont have GD and are of average weight for their height.

loads of people think they had to have a c-section because their pelvis was too small when really it was the position they were in for the birth or babys positioning ( ie not facing down but facing up or sideways instead ) that was truely at fault.
You wouldnt be here if your mother didnt deliver you and her mother deliver her so you have a really good chance of having your baby with no problems

 

[FeistyMom]

My mom is a very petite woman (just about 5' tall, small bone structure). She did have a bit of difficulty with babies over 8 pounds - my sister was 8lb 1 oz and her collar bone was broken during delivery. The good news if that does happen is that it heals VERY quickly, and the only side affect that anyone could tell may be related to the early break is that she is quite ambidextrous. So even if that happens, it isn't completely awful and the LO recovers VERY quickly.

I was nervous because my mom had those issues, and my DH has a big frame. He wasn't *too* big, but his brother was over 9 lbs. However, I apparently did NOT inherit my mother's pelvis, because I've now delivered two 8lb+ babies with no problems in the pelvis department, and my OB thinks I could handle even bigger babies.

The other thing is positioning - sometimes it is more a matter of how the baby is lying than how large they are, as well as length versus weight - a long baby can weigh more without causing delivery issues since the weight is more distributed.

A scan is really your best bet as to size and sometimes can tell if the baby is 'compatible' with your pelvic opening but not always. Definitely make sure your OB is taking your concerns seriously!

 

[Maman]

i agree. There are plenty of large women who struggle to have babies! my husbands ex is huge but she has too small a pelvis to allow a baby through. My husbands family were all fairly decent sized babies and all my family were big babies, but my baby was 7lb13oz!

Your midwife will be able to get a good grasp of babys size when she feels your tummy but that doesnt mean much. They also say a bigger baby does more of the work so its easier.

With the collarbone thing, im pretty sure thats called shoulder dystocia, and its not very common, especially to that extreme. These are all the little things that cant be predicted, its the natural risks of childbirth. If you have a section in the end, take it from me- its no biggie x

 

[lynnikins]

https://www.pregnancybirthandbabies.com/Big_baby.htm

more info for you hun

just want to point out that growth scans are typically off by 300-500grms on predicted birthweight

 

[ahcigar1]

Thanks for all the great info and encouragement everyone. This has helped me to feel a bit better.

 

[babyhopesxx]

Try not to worry too much, unless you've got GD your unlikely to grow a baby that is too big for your body to deliver. I gave birth to a 10lb'er vaginally (with the help of an epi) so it can be done