The 1st Time Mummy Club

[first alien]

I'm a first time mum. thought i'd join in!

1 - pregnancy has been great so far. i've been one of those annoying people who haven't had many symptoms so was able to keep things quiet until i wanted to tell people at 14+5! only symptom i've had bad is extreme tiredness which made me go to bed at 8 and struggle getting out of bed at the weekends but thinking that when little one is here i wont have a choice but get up i've enjoyed my lie ins even more!!!!!

2- i've again been lucky here. other than people asking me when the morning sickness finished and me replying never had it and recieving a shocked face. all people have said to me is about their own experiences but how they are glad they went through it.

3- we will be doing a little of both. we have a new pram and a few new outfits. the cot will be new. we will be going car bootying once we know what it is to pick up a few more clothing items. really though it makes sense to mix and match old and new as they hardly wear anything for long!!!!
we are having to completely redecorate the babies room including carpet so feel they are already having enough spent on them.

4-at first we didn't want to know and have a suprise but i'm a very practical person who needs to be organised so we are going to find out at about 24 weeks. that way we also get to see little one again before he/she is born

5 - i didn't realise how huge my breasts were going to get and how annoyng trying to find clothes that fit were going to be. i didn't realise that i was going to have to lie on one side inparticular to get to sleep and i didn't realise how weird the whole experience was going to be!!!

6 - i haven't started thinking about labour yet. i'm going to stay in denial of that for a little longer i think!!!!!!

its been interesting answering these questions. think i'll have to edit when i get to third trimester to change my opinion which i'm sure will have changed!!!

 

[Scally]

Hey, I am a first time mum too

What is the pregnancy experience like for you? Anything like you expected? better? worse?

Pregnancy is great, so far!!!! I expected to be sick of it (like my sister) very quickly, but still everyday i pinch myself, and cant believe i am pregnant. I love my growing belly and cant stop stroking it! I was expecting varicos veins etc but not quite this early!!!! And i wasnt expecting the tiredness and spots!!! I do worry a lot, wasnt expecting to still feel so worried after the firs trimester. But i am honestly loving pregnancy!!!!!

Are people giving you all sorts of advice just because your gonna be a mum for the first time?

God yes, the worse is about the birth, how i shouldnt have pain relief etc, i have been wanting to go with epidural but people around me think that is awful!!!! That shocked me a bit!!!!

Have you bought all new stuff or gone for secondhand/bargain hunting?

We are going with new, as havent got anyone to pass stuff down, but we are permanently looking at supermarket things, soooo much cheaper, and still good quality.

Did you find out the sex or want the first to be a suprise for your first?
We want it to be a surprise, but i can totally understand why people find out!!!!

And is there anything else you didnt realise would happen to your body before you became pregnant?
Didnt realise so much about the tearing/cutting etc, or about the pooing (ewww) at birth. Didnt realise just how many pains etc u get in the tummy all through the pregnancy (they are so worrying).

And are you scared of how your Labour will turn out?
God yes, yes, yes, i am terrified!!!!!!! Of cutting/ tearing, baby getting stuck, me passing out from the sight if blood and goo. Absolutely terrified!!!!

 

[SianMA]

What is the pregnancy experience like for you? Anything like you expected? better? worse?
It's been different, as usual with me nothing is straigtforward! After having a mc last year I was totally terrified that my bean wouldn't make it and the spotting and severe stomach pains didn't help to reassure me so I ended up in hospital. I'm just now getting over the crushing fear - I really didn't expect it to last this long. Now I'm stick at home with a really bad back/ hips which I wasn't expecting at all. Who knows whats coming next??

Are people giving you all sorts of advice just because your gonna be a mum for the first time?
Oh yes, but I knew it would happen as my mum is a health worker so I've been lectured about 'breast is best' since the word go. Haven't actually had any constructive comments from anyone yet! Just lots of 'you're life is never going to be the same' etc. which is making me very protective indeed - I almost wish it was still a secret sometimes and I've started avoiding discussing it with anyone but my best friends and DH!

Have you bought all new stuff or gone for secondhand/bargain hunting?
So far we've been given some stuff but my two friends who were going to give us stuff are pregnant again so I guess it will mostly be new. We'll hopefully have more kids so it'll be cheaper next time around! As this is the first grandchild and great-grandchild on both sides we have been innundated with offers of money for prams etc. which is wonderful as DH has just lost his job, luckily we also have some money saved for baby stuff anyway - the one bonus of 'trying' for over a year.

Did you find out the sex or want the first to be a suprise for your first?

We'll hopefully be finding out next friday at our anomoly scan, if bubs co-operates that is. last scan bubs was sat up with legs firmly crossed underneath so 'll be doing headstands before we go to make sure we can see. We're both too excited not to try to find out and I don't want to get convinced that it's one sex then feel weird if I turn out to be wrong. Also want to go out and buy lots of cute clothes.

And is there anything else you didnt realise what would happen to your body before you became pregnant?

The stretchy joints, the discharge, just how emotional I am. I feel like aliens have taken over my body and mind. Nobody ever mentioned how much more I would love my sticky-out tummy, I really do love to look at it, maybe because I'm not particularly skinny so have had to hold my fat in before now. I am definately making the most of being able to relax my tummy muscles. I also never realised that your baby could kick you in the lady-bits from the inside, ouch.

And are you scared of how your Labour will turn out?
Not scared really, I'm just hoping nothing goes worng so that I can have my home waterbirth but I'm being very realistic and I totally accept that we might end up in the hospital. If thats what the baby needs I dont care how bubs comes out. I am worried that I will be a total wuss with the pain and I'm not looking forward to the 'show' when it all kicks off- sounds gross, snot-like bloody goo coming out of you, yuk. Also not too sure about the possibility of DH seeing me poo, he'll find it totally entertaining so I keep joking that it will be his job to sieve the floaty bits out of the pool!! My major fear is having to be cut or tearing massively and being left doubly incontinent, I'm sure that doesn't happen too often though .

Just looking forward to meeting the little person who is kicking the hell out of me!

 

[avabear73]

Ooh this is a fun thread!

What is the pregnancy experience like for you? Anything like you expected? better? worse?

It's been nothing like I expected! Every day brings a new (ahem) joy LOL. The constipation hasn't been as bad as expected, haven't had any heartburn yet (which apparently means my baby will be bald ). Apart from the nausea and tiredness (which finally passed at 18 weeks) it's been pretty amazing. Feeling kicks and finding out how the baby grows and develops each week has been incredible. Plus, I suddenly appreciate my body more - for a long time I moaned about it all the time, too fat blah blah, but now it's doing such a brilliant job of nurturing and developing a new person ... I have a newfound respect for it.

And I never realised how much joy a baby brings to other people ... so many people are really excited, even people I don't know all that well. Everyone just seems to be really excited about this new little person, even those who seem really exasperated with their own kids!


Are people giving you all sorts of advice just because your gonna be a mum for the first time?

Oh yeah, but I've developed a filter, I just nod and thank them, knowing I can disregard it later and the chances are, they'll never know


Have you bought all new stuff or gone for secondhand/bargain hunting?

A lot of our stuff is being bought for us (told you everyone was excited) but pretty much everything will be new (there hasn't been a baby in our families for years and years). One thing I might buy second hand is a rocking chair, I really want one for the nursery but don't think our budget will stretch to a new one.


Did you find out the sex or want the first to be a suprise for your first?

Nope - our hospital don't tell you. As time goes by it's harder and harder to resist the urge to know, because I want to buy gender specific stuff .. although the surprise will be really cool


And is there anything else you didnt realise what would happen to your body before you became pregnant?

Hell yeah. Nipples changing colour - come on!!! Other stuff I could anticipate, but I'm not happy about that


And are you scared of how your Labour will turn out?

A bit but we're doing a hypnotherapy class in June, which should help relax me. At the end of the day, it's going to be what it's going to be, so I try not to think about it, worrying isn't going to change anything.

 

[andbabymakes3]

What is the pregnancy experience like for you? Anything like you expected? better? worse?

I love it! After spending so long thinking this would never happen for me (and not trying) this was the most amazing surprise. Its not anything like I expected - much much more. I feel like a goddess!

Are people giving you all sorts of advice just because your gonna be a mum for the first time?

TBH, not too much. Most have waited for me to ask before dishing it out. I think most people know I am a storng minded little bugger and will tell them to sod off!

Have you bought all new stuff or gone for secondhand/bargain hunting?

Bit of both!

Did you find out the sex or want the first to be a suprise for your first?

We found out as soon as we could! Its a little girl!!

And is there anything else you didnt realise what would happen to your body before you became pregnant?

Oh my God yes. The stabbing pains in boobs. The achey belly. The spots. Crying at everything.

And are you scared of how your Labour will turn out?

Not really TBH. We are having a planned C section at 37 weeks cos of previous medical probs so I wont be experiencing contractions/labour! We have our birth plan ready. Both pretty happy with things. Veeery excited!!

 

[rubywoo77]

What is the pregnancy experience like for you? Anything like you expected? better? worse?

It's certainly not how I expected, I have wanted to have a baby for so long and I guess I kinda romantacised(sp?) the whole pregnancy thing. I thought I would be one of those earth mother types (no offence to anyone intended) who would just skip through pregnancy, all ethereal and beautiful and full of joy, I thought I would have the glow. I never realised how crappy I would feel for the first 13 weeks and how that crappiness would be replaced with unbeleiveable lethargy and a very low threshold for bullsh*t. I also thought my husband would treat me with kid gloves, worrying and fretting - and to be fair he does but just not as much as I thought he would (if that makes sense)

Are people giving you all sorts of advice just because your gonna be a mum for the first time?

Everyone has an opinion on my pregnancy, from my family to his family to friends. My family seems to be doing the whole lets be really supportive and nice thing, my mum and sister are soooo excited for me and husband, my inlaws on the other hand swing between indifference to completely control freakish behaviour. My MIL in particular is a royal pain in the arse, she doesn't like the names we have chosen, said my ultrasound pics were unclear because I'm not slim, tells me I am putting on too much weight and that'll I'll never lose the weight I have put on .

My FIL refused to see my ultrasound pics and seems too obsessed with his daughter's (my SIL) kids to even notice that he has another grandchild on the way. My SIL has helpfully pointed out that my face is "spreading".... my friends on the whole are all really helpful especially the ones with kids and have offered lots of useful hints and tips and reassurance.

Have you bought all new stuff or gone for secondhand/bargain hunting?

I haven't bought anything yet, I don't have a problem with second hand or hand me downs unless they are from husbands side of the family. I find the whole pram thing a nightmare and have no idea where to start. I thought I would be researching and making wise informed choices but the minute I start looking the choices overwhelm me and I give up . I am not too fussed about baby clothes as I know we will gets loads from both sides of the family.

Did you find out the sex or want the first to be a suprise for your first?

I really wanted to know but my husband didn't, in the end we decided on Team Yellow, although both of us are convinced it's a girl, everyone apart from my mum and sis has said girl too, my mum is convinced I am carrying a boy. I am looking forward to meeting LO (boy or girl) and just want my baby to be healthy.

And is there anything else you didnt realise what would happen to your body before you became pregnant?

Had no idea that your nipples get darker even if your dark/olive skinned like me, also the leaky nipples thing- I thought that happened once you gave birth. I didn't realise I would have so much trouble getting a decent night's sleep before LO even arrives. I also had no idea how much I would love my big fat belly, it's really weird, I thought I would hate putting on weight and my tummy getting bigger but I love my tummy. I don't like the fact I have put on weight (previous weight issues, took me most of my adult life to get down to a healthy size) but I love my tummy - especially when the baby is in a certain position and it's full and rounded and sticky outty...

And are you scared of how your Labour will turn out?

yes, bricking it. I am so scared of being in pain and very scared that something will go wrong that will affect the health of the baby.
I have made hubbie promise to write EPIDURAL across my tummy in magic marker pen just so the hospital staff are under no illusion as to my choice of pain control!

just realised how depressing my answers seem, but better out than in or so they say...

 

[Elysian1c0]

What is the pregnancy experience like for you? Anything like you expected? better? worse?
I didn't realize how debilitating MS was really going to be. I spent the first 5 weeks of my pregnancy asleep, and then the next 6 feeling like I had a terrible flu, complete with a stuffed up nose. I worried I'd feel like cr@p forever, but as soon as I hit 11 weeks everything became so easy and lovely. I'm LOVING 2nd trimester. This whole pregnancy my OH has been a perfect doll (mostly) and my family has been very cute and supportive about it all. I'm so happy.


Are people giving you all sorts of advice just because your gonna be a mum for the first time?
UGH. Yes. My younger Mom friends love to tell me how terrible and agonizing the birth is going to be, and everyone around me seems to cock their eyebrows at my desire for a natural water birth, and MY WHOLE FAMILY insists on monitoring what I eat (bringing sushi in my house causes "discussions") and I've heard a bunch of the most ludicrous old wives tales ever...like don't scratch when you have a craving because you'll give the baby a birthmark???!? And my brother-in-law (to be) believes he is THE father of all time, so everything I believe pales in comparison to his infinite knowledge of being a woman carrying a child.

Have you bought all new stuff or gone for secondhand/bargain hunting?
Bargains, all day. I'll get new goodies at the baby shower.


Did you find out the sex or want the first to be a suprise for your first?
Everyone believes it's a girl, and I want to find out for sure at 17 weeks, but...OH does not want to find out. He wants to be surprised. I'll probably get my way, though. Hehehe


And is there anything else you didnt realise what would happen to your body before you became pregnant?
The center of my nipple, ya know, where the milk come's out, got dry and strange...and I actually was able to pick pieces off. Like, small hunks of dead skin. I don't know, sorry, I know that sounds gross...

And are you scared of how your Labour will turn out?
I had absolutely no fear. I was convinced it would be a breeze. Note, past tense. I had a dream last night that I was in labor and, though I wasn't in pain, I was positively terrified. In my dream I nearly had a major panic and had to constantly tell myself to just relax, be calm...
I realized that if I'm going to have the peaceful, natural experience I desire, I have to seriously work at it....mentally.

 

[Laraa]

What is the pregnancy experience like for you? Anything like you expected? better? worse?

Im loving it Sickness was awful experience to begin with and although everyone said 'i'll go at 12 weeks' IT NEVER DID until last week or so.

Are people giving you all sorts of advice just because your gonna be a mum for the first time?

not so much advice but comments that i really can do without..like ' y did u go and plan for a baby thats ur life down the drain' but in a way im happy bout this as its made me open my eyes and see who really cares n whos a waste of space

Have you bought all new stuff or gone for secondhand/bargain hunting?

I still havnt bought anythin apart from a few unisex outfits.

Did you find out the sex or want the first to be a suprise for your first?

I will be finding out next week thurs..i cant wait ))

And is there anything else you didnt realise what would happen to your body before you became pregnant?

My mum told me everythin i needed to knw.. apart from stretching pains

And are you scared of how your Labour will turn out?

Tryin not to think about it yet but knowing i have hubby by my side reassures me a winy bit

 

[Tsia]

aww there is some such good answers there. Its good to know other first timers are going through similar thoughts and fears. Its reassuring to me anyways. If I get to be a second time mum I will be like.. Ahhh all this again woop woop.. lol

 

[aimee-lou]

Tsia- great thread. Do you think the 1st time mummy's club should become a real thing? (Like the first wives club! )

Love all the answers too! So many different experiences of the same thing. Really makes you think!

 

[lindak]

What is the pregnancy experience like for you?

So far I have been very lucky. I have had no MS just some tiredness. I have had lots of spots . I knew I was an impatient person but im already cracking up and Im on 14wks lol. I didnt think life would become so monotinous (SP?) Really I am sooo bored and really going crazy for a mad night out with my friends. But you know what I know the minute I hold my baby I am gonna be so over that.....

Are people giving you all sorts of advice just because your gonna be a mum for the first time?

Not really my mum is my bf and really supportive and she does give me advice but always adds- " Linda every baby is different and every parent is different, so what works for one may not work for another" As for my MIL we dont see each other much ( thank god ) where are not the best of friends so thankfully I havent had to listen to her much .... my friends all have kids .. But you know what I actually enjoy listening to my friends points and opinions because I know they mean well and are not ramming their opinions down my throat. And maybe I will learn something from them.


Have you bought all new stuff or gone for secondhand/bargain hunting?
I will buy all new thats just me. And I am officially a self confessed shopaholic. I so far have my pram, moses baskets & rocker, cot bed, steriliser, car seat, bottles, sling, monitors, nappies some vest etc. I hate not being organised I will wait to find out the sex on the 4th of june to do some serious clothes shopping !

Did you find out the sex or want the first to be a suprise for your first?
Havent found out , but will on June 4th


And is there anything else you didnt realise what would happen to your body before you became pregnant?
I didnt realised I would get all these spots !!


And are you scared of how your Labour will turn out?
I am scared but try not think of it.. my main fear is tearing it terrifies me to death !

 

[Aunty E]

What is the pregnancy experience like for you?

Physically it's been great (apart from the zits and a hideous IBS attack in the first month, which could have been anything really). Mentally, it's been horrible. I felt like a zombie for the first trimester, I was miserable, paranoid, apathetic, weepy, snappy. I'm not much better now, although at least I'm not as scared.

Are people giving you all sorts of advice just because your gonna be a mum for the first time?

Ha. They wouldn't dare. My MiL has been making the odd snide comment about how I won't manage to keep up with using cloth nappies. We'll see.

Have you bought all new stuff or gone for secondhand/bargain hunting?

Ooh, bit of a mixture. Where stuff is cheap, I've bought it new, (primark bodysuits for example!), but I've bought a second hand crib (with a new mattress), changing table and respisense monitor. If nobody offers to buy me a new one, I'll buy a second hand pushchair/travel system too. And electric breast pump. I'm not fussy.

Did you find out the sex or want the first to be a suprise for your first?

We found out because we needed to be prepared if it was a boy (she's a girl).

And is there anything else you didnt realise what would happen to your body before you became pregnant?

Lochia. URGH. I might have reconsidered if I'd known how long I could bleed for.

And are you scared of how your Labour will turn out?

Yes and no. I'm only worried about the baby being healthy and the possibility that I might tear badly, I'm not so fussed about the pain of contractions because I've had IBS for ten years and have plenty of experience of screaming in agony as my insides spasm and throwing up because of the pain. There's nobody in my bathroom at four in the morning offering me an epidural because I've got uncontrollable bowel spasms, trapped wind and severe constipation.

 

[Lazy Leo]

I'm a first timer too!!!

What is the pregnancy experience like for you? Anything like you expected? better? worse?

For me it's certainly not been as bad as I expected in terms of emotions etc. I've been neither up nor down, not throwing strops or tantrums and no tears. The first 10 weeks were incredibly worrying because of preious m/c but I always knew that would be the case.
I was shocked by lower back pain in the early weeks as I thought that wouldn't kick in till much later but thankfully it appears to have eased again.


Are people giving you all sorts of advice just because your gonna be a mum for the first time?

Not really, my gran has said she refused to listen to anyone when she had her first (my mum) so I guess that was some subtle advice. Other than that only opinions when asked for about bottle temps etc.

A few people are popping opinions my way which are irritating, one friend phoned me to tell me that she didn't want to tell me everything just because she's been through it *yawn* but my headaches were probably due to iron deficiency. Another said my name really sharply when I said I wouldn't BF, 'but surely you will for the first couple of days isn't the colustrum meant to be really good for them' A warm, if not quite heated debate later she apologised and said she didn't mean to 'judge'.

Have you bought all new stuff or gone for secondhand/bargain hunting?

My mum has kept all my brothers stuff and I expect to use that with the exceotion of new mattresses for the cot, steriliser and car seat. I'll probably get new 'toys' like the bouncers and swings as they are more all singing all-dancing now lol! I caved in and bought a new pram though!!!

Did you find out the sex or want the first to be a suprise for your first?

Hubby wants to know and I could easily be persuaded but I am just slightly in the wait and see camp. Time will tell if I can hold out - probably not lol!

And is there anything else you didnt realise what would happen to your body before you became pregnant?

I didn't realise you had to deliver the placenta


And are you scared of how your Labour will turn out?

Absolutley sodding terrified!!! I was 8lb 12 and my brother was 10lb 15oz, both forceps deliveries, my mum and her brother were 9 and 10lb something. My hubby is 6" 6" so my chance of a small baby is slim I think - I'm hoping for tall and slim like dad and not short and stocky like me and brother!!