The Guillt

Discussion in 'Special Needs Support' started by DobbyForever, Oct 1, 2019.

  1. DobbyForever

    DobbyForever First Time Momma

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    I just want to hear that I'm not alone/a bad mom.

    Nobody in my family understands. We never had children who couldn't latch. Children with autism. children with speech delays.

    I know I was cheated out of an experience, as my mom put its. My ex was an abusive pos. But I never thought I would be cheated of motherhood.

    I had an anterior placenta. An abusive partner throughout pregnancy and birth and beyond. My son has been issue after issue (granted non-live threatening).

    I feel guilty. Why me? Why us?
     
  2. 2have4kids

    2have4kids Mother of 3

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    Sending you hugs xx
    Sometimes the $hit just piles up. I hate it when they say god doesn't give you anything you can’t deal with. Everyone has their limits. Just know there are people out there in the world who wish you a better, luckier day tomorrow. Well done for making it through today. One breath at a time.
    xx
     
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  3. Bevziibubble

    Bevziibubble Well-Known Member
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    Please don't feel guilty. You are all your child needs and you're a great mum. I'm so sorry you're going through such a difficult time :hugs:
     
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  4. ClairAye

    ClairAye Mum to one of each!

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    :hugs: I get this, I do! My son was born with kidney problems, he had sepsis at 4 weeks old and it's never been 'normal' (hate that word!) since then. Just as his kidney problems started to resolve at 3 years old his other problems started to get worse, his anger got worse, it no longer seemed like the speech delay frustrations and he started ticking (though I didn't know it was a tic at the time!). I spent a lot of time wondering why he was going through something again, why I was going through this again and going through it alone again (as their father walked out when he was 2 but was never involved in his medical things) and this isn't fair, this isn't how motherhood was supposed to go. Last year finally after a long process he got his diagnoses and I cannot tell you the weight lifted off my shoulders because I was able to come to a point where I realised again - like I did eventually after his kidney problems- that we were just on a different path to the one I expected and imagined but there are so many amazing things down this road and even though there are many obstacles along it. You are NOT a bad mum, I think pretty much every parent of an additional needs child goes through this process because it is a lot and it is different to how pretty much everyone tells you it will be and how you imagined it but it will become your (okay often crazy and overwhelming) normal and you'll still have bad days but just take each day as a small victory. Sending you a lot of :hugs: and please feel free to PM me of you ever need. My son is 7 now but is Autistic too and has ADHD and Tourette's as well. <3
     
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  5. DobbyForever

    DobbyForever First Time Momma

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    Thank you. :hugs: sorry. It’s been so stressful the past few weeks. Hoping things get better soon.
     
  6. sequeena

    sequeena Winging it.

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    It's shit. Really. The guilt is overwhelming at times but it is worth it. Every new milestone, every new food tried, every time you're able to divert a meltdown. It all adds up and some days you'll feel like the best mum in the world.

    There are dark days but you can't have rainbows without rain.
     
  7. ClairAye

    ClairAye Mum to one of each!

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    I hope things are going okay now! :hugs:
     

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