The insensitivity of some people---starting a virtual punching bag

[hercules]

Hello all...
So hubby and I have been ttc for 8 months now. We have told the closest people to us, but extended family does not know. AF came for a visit last week, so needless to say I was less than thrilled. Especially because I knew I was going to visit family (and the aunt who has been pressuring me to have a baby since before I even met my husband.) So I walk into the house and the very first thing she says to me, before even saying hello, was "You mean you aren't pregnant yet?" Oh Gosh I was so mad. I barely knew how to respond. Thankfully my Dad, who knows the difficulty we are having, was there to come to my aid. What dumb or insensitive things have people said to you during this incredibly sensitive time. I'm starting this thread as a virtual punching bag for everything somebody says that makes you want to punch them

 

[JHartsBaby]

Hey hun! I'm sorry about your experience... DH and I have been trying for 7 months. Here's my PUNCH:

We came home from our honeymoon last June... about a month later, my MIL says, "I keep expecting you to be showing any time now....."

Wonder if she keeps thinking EVERYONE GETS PREGNANT 3 days after they get married, like she did..... GOLLYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY. Nope.

 

[brandif]

JEEZ....What is up with people, esp. family members saying stuff like that! that is awful..I am sorry fortunately, I haven't had any issues....Hang in there girls!

 

[dizzy65]

everyone keeps asking me "so when are you going to have baby # 2" or "are you pregnant yet" or "i thought youd be pregnant by now" its like omg shut up pls this is difficult enough with out u people tormenting me everytime i turn around omg

 

[Mis_Aimz_TTC1]

this is a good idea, Im glad I really haven't had a lot of people like that, I was very open with my family only because I asked them for medical history, (my aunties etc).
But I do get from my friends doesn't matter wether there got kids or not "so you on OH have been together long enough when are use going to start trying". I use to just bite my tounge and say whenever it happens it happens. But about 2 weeks ago someone posted on my FB about when am I going to start having babies! I thought bugger it and wrote back, we are currently trying to have a baby, have been for quiet some time, just hasn't happened yet, but I'll let you know when it does happen =).

 

[hercules]

I have been getting lots of questions from lots of different people. I want to just say never so they stop asking...and then they'll be just as happy when we tell them we are as we will be if we ever get that happy news But I know I won't say anything...I'll just keep smiling and coming up with excuses

 

[kbales05]

With my son my DH and I had been trying for over a year, at our church Christmas dinner my aunt asked me " well your brother has a baby do you not want any?" My brother and I got married in the same year and everyone thought cause him and my SIL got pregnant right away that I should too. I cried so hard on the way home cause no one knew how hard we were trying.

My MIL also has said several hurtful things, too many to mention..So if we get lucky with TTC #2 I think she will be the last to know..

 

[dinky]

My sister said something REALLY annoying to me the other day. I told her me and oh had only been ttc for 3 months and thats whn i come off the pill (infact its been 6 months just didnt want to draw anymore attention to it) and she turned around and said 'what and it hasnt happened yet?!' I felt like punching her because when she tried for her 2nd child she came off the pill and didnt even have a period! She got pregnant right away. She doesnt know i was ttc for almost 7 years for dd but she did know i was having problems and that i have endometriosis so she knows its difficult for me. She keeps saying things like 'you need to have a baby now or you will regret the age differance!!!' I feel like saying were not all lucky like you just back off its hard enought without you pressuring me you have no idea what im going through!!!!!! Rant over.

 

[TiggyRoo]

I have endometriosis and a woman in work keeps saying you know how to 'fix' your problem you should have a baby

Another thing she says is maybe when your 40 you might have 1 she knows how bad the endo has got for me I'm 28 now and I told her if I don't have 1 by my mid 30's I'm not having one how insensitive is that it boils my blood she knows my mother aswell and keeps saying your mom would live to be a granny
She clearly has no clue how I feel myself and dh have decided not to tell anyone we are ttc cos I know how hard it can be ESP with endo

 

[auntylolo]

I think some of you need to tell the people who are saying these things that you are trying, andand when it happens they'lll find out at the same everyone else does.
People don't realise how much it hurts, when they don't know what's going on. I'm not saying people need to every detail of your ttc process, but my hubby and I feel much less pressure now that people know we had a mc and are trying again because they simply ask how we are, what we've been up to rather than "any babies yet?"