The Loneliest Line in the World. *My 2WW Journal.* UPDATE!! MY LINE ISN'T LONELY!!!!!

GodsNotDead23

Pregnant; our Finale. <3
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Decided to start this.
I have PCOS. CD42. No idea when I Od. I felt like I did on CD32 but who really knows lol. I have another post explanation as to why I don&#8217;t hart anymore.
Negative FRER. (6/22/2018)


CD45. 6/25:
~Decided to take down all the other negative tests and not going to post Sundays, which were also negative. Hubby veto'd getting more FRER until at least we get paid on Friday... lol Apparently FRER is not what our reserve is for. Who knew.

~On Friday I had emailed my Dr. and asked how long I had to wait to get a blood test and possibly a round of provera if my period doesn't show soon. I'm supposed to go in for blood test July 2nd if AF doesn't come. And she wants to wait a few weeks for provera to see if my body can regulate itself this time. I used it once back in 09/2016 after having no AF since my son was born that January.

~Going to see if I can schedule to go to our fertility orientation for Reproductive Program. Its always on Tuesdays at 3:30PM and I work until 5PM. However I have next week off! That was her main suggestion because only so much she can do.

Symptom Spotting:
Breasts are insanely sore. Started with just nipples now my entire breast is so tender it hurts with my shoulders move!!
Frequent Urination.
Cervix retreated back up instead of its usual low position for AF.
Smell aversions. Food aversions.
Very moody.
Unable to focus.
Space brain. Etc.


6/26... Abnormal Bloat?? Does this look like normal mom belly, AF, or food baby bloat? Specifically how far out it is from the hip bone down??

6/27, CD47 Hubby looked at me last night and informed me we have 5 extra dollars and he wants me to spend it on tests, because he doesn't like watching me struggle/stress about it, and its been 3 days since I tested. I guess he didn't want me to keep testing everyday, and give my body a chance to build HCG if I am indeed pregnant.

So today I went and bought First Signal cheapie from Walmart. 3 actually. I'll just one nowish. (Apparently my bladder decided it doesnt need to produce urine once I finally got a test.) So it will be SMU, but over a 6 hour "hold".

2nd Test I will use on Friday. And 3rd on Sunday. If no BFP I am making an appointment on Monday for a blood test. Wish me luck ladies!

6/27.... 2PM.... PREGNANT!!!! I hope its okay to put BFP's in here!! Its PINK in person and on my phone/computer, the image quality washes it out a bit when I uploaded it.
 

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I can't see the FRER but I am assuming it is blank because of your title. Good luck hun!! Baby dust to you!
 
I can't see anything yet! FX it shows up soon!!
 
I hate lonely lines too &#128546; Fingers crossed for you that your line finds a friend soon!
 
No real update today, CP is lower again. Cried last night because of some pretty trivial discussion with DH. He literally said his week off work wasn&#8217;t really a week off because he worked on vehicles all week. One of which we couldn&#8217;t get fixed and got sold.. his motorcycle.

I literally said &#8220;all I meant was you didn&#8217;t go to work&#8221;. Stomped off and cried and he asked what was wrong. I ACTUALLY believed those exchanges of words meant he didn&#8217;t appreciate the last year we lived off my income and my 45 hours a week didn&#8217;t matter because I have a {very stressful} office job. And that what he does at home and the Job he&#8217;s had for 3 seconds means more than everything I do.

It then turned into a huge stressful convo about feeling useless if I quit my job (which is the plan eventually, probably stay a while longer to get a bigger savings going.) but still.

I lost my marbles last night guys lol no yelling just lots of tears.
 
:hugs: Oh I'm so sorry!

It’s quite alright he was pretty understanding and validated my feelings. He does sometimes dismiss my job and that we lived off my income only, but in a normal day I know what it’s feom and don’t make a fuss. But I was just so emotional yesterday lol.

He was raised to believe that if he isn’t the main provider he is less than. So I typically do not bring it up and find my validation I’m other places since he already gets grief from his dad.
 
That's not an uncommon societal message for men.

Yes. He was raised extremely old fashioned out in the country. Office jobs, no job, housework is all frowned upon for men and they are made to feel very poorly if they choose that &#128528;. He’s 23 and has more physical issues than most middle age/elderly I know. It’s unfortunate he pushes himself to satisfy his dads status quo. So sad.

He did stay home for a year doing school and cleaned the house but he got legitimately depressed and I ended up asking him to go back to work and that I wouldn’t be disappointed. (I pushed him to break out of the mold and go to school for computer programming and web design.) which he loved, but you could tell the shitty committee in his head made him miserable.

Now he’s doing roofing and acting like himself again. Just hard on his body. &#129335;*&#9792;&#65039;

Sorry venting! Lol
 
Vent away!! People grow a lot in their 20s, this is a really important time in your lives! Always remember that you are a team and partners together and your cup will always be full &#10084;&#65039;
 
Vent away!! People grow a lot in their 20s, this is a really important time in your lives! Always remember that you are a team and partners together and your cup will always be full &#10084;&#65039;

Exactly. He asked me why I was pushing school. I told him. “ I am your wife. It is your parents responsibility to push. You to be the best version of yourself and have every opportunity to figure out what that is. If they won’t do it, I will. I never want you to be 50, 60 years old and wonder why. You never got a shot at higher education. Now you have and we found out it’s not for you and that’s all I ever wanted.”

I never want him to lose out on an opportunity because he feels obligated to be “the provider.”
 

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