the other mums left me out :(

[Kiree]

I feel really sad, I'm having my first proper lonely mummy moment.

I did a 5 week baby massage class and sometimes still see a few of the mums to say hi to at the clinic or in the shops. So today 2 of them were in the clinic and they were talking to a health visitor saying they were going for coffee. So the Hv asks if its just the 2 of them and they were like no, we all meet up from the baby massage class. I felt gutted.

I know it probably seems childish to be upset about it but I just wonder why. I mean I consider myself to be a friendly person, I talk to people but I'm not too forward. I'm not the type that likes to be argumentative or offensive so I don't know what I did! I'm a little younger than most of them I think but I don't know if that's it.

I'm not saying I need everyone to like me, I'm happy just being as I am. I think I'm more upset for Noah as he doesn't have that many 'baby friends' and I know he couldn't care at the minute but now I'm feeling like nobody will want to be his mate cos of his mummy!

So pointless thread I suppose but I had to get it off my chest x

 

[Vickie]

I'm sure it's nothing you did. Can you just tell them that you heard they go for coffee after and would like to join?

 

[Nemo and bump]

or maybe next time you see them invite them for coffee? i'm sure its nothing you've don.
xoxo

 

[Katew]

I am sure its nothing you have done. Did they know each other before hand or have they been bumping into each other at other baby groups? They could have got to know the other mums that way a bit better. I know its hard but try not to worry- you'll build up a circle of friends before you know it if anything like me

 

[Pyrrhic]

You should have just asked to go along! I'm sure if its a group thing from baby massage then it's open to everyone. They probably never meant to make you feel left out

 

[amazed]

I would of been a lil gutted aswell... but in all fairness i get a lil shy and seem off with people when in actual fact its cause i never know what to say to people i dont that well... x

 

[beancounter]

I would feel like that too. Even if they have just accidentally left me out. I'm sure there are other groups about, here we have ones especially for young mums and such. i never got any of the NCT emails cos they had my OHs email but it wasn't because they didn't want me to come (i hope) and its sorted out now

 

[moomin_troll]

i live on a army camp and the other mums dont really do much other then stay in their houses so i decided to go down to a mother and baby club in the nearest village for a change and as soon as i walked in i got dirty looks and me n zane were there an hour before anybody even spoke to me i felt awful.

i was supprised how bitchy some other mums can be

 

[Mum2b_Claire]

I bet they didn't do it deliberately. I'm a lot younger than all of my NCT group but it is not a problem - we have bags in common - our babies! I would just get chatting to them again and I bet they ask you along for coffee.

 

[princess_bump]

i agree, i'm sure its not you honey, just get chatting to them next time and i'm sure they'd love to have you to meet up too

i no it can be hard meeting other mummy friends, i found the best thing to do was to go along to lots of different groups and that way you meet loads of mums and babies

 

[bubbles]

I would feel the same hun. but in all fairness I don't give people the chance to leave me out because I don't go out and meet other mums, I'm quite a shy person and find it hard making friends

 

[sublime_ivy]

As they say, shy bairns get nowt. I would just muscle in and invite myself. They probably think you are not interested in going with them?

 

[Hevz]

I doubt they meant to miss you off the list either

They may have sent a group text out or something and not had your number or not seen you the particular time they made the plans, or presumed each other had already asked you or something.

I can understand how you must feel though. As Nemo said, why don't you ask one of them if they fancy meeting up and they may say "aren't you coming on....."


Don't get paranoid....it's easy to feel left out and paranoid

 

[Kiree]

thanks everyone youve given me a new perspective on it. i can be a little bit shy, and easily discouraged so i suppose i should just be a big girl and ask outright. youre right sublime_ivy- shy bairns get nowt

i agree tho some groups can be bitchy and what worries me is there was only 5 of us at the class- so i do kinda get the feeling its deliberate. but if it is well its their loss.

i will just keep making sure i do lots of things to meet other mummies as suggested. i know one thing for sure though if i see someone being left out i will make a real effort to include them. thanks again guys youre all stars x

 

[dali]

it may just be that they live near to each other or forgot to invie you along hun
and if thats not the case then that is prety rude of them. im sure its nothing youve done, and if thats how they are gonnna be then forget them

 

[CeliaM]

Hey hon, I know how it feels. I think probably most of us have been in your shoes at times in our lives! My best friend just moved away, we practically shared parenting our children, saw eye to eye on most everything, so it's felt like a huge loss.

One thing I've noticed though, after she moved I spent time thinking about the pepole I know and what their days look like, there are a LOT of lonely people out there. You need to take the first step, and invite people over for coffee, or something of the sort.

 

[Lu28]

Hon I know exactly how you feel I've found most of the mum and baby groups around my area to be quite cliquey, there's a group that obviously know each other and aren't interested in talking to newbies. I'm fine with starting a conversation with a stranger but don't have the confidence to talk to a group who know each other. My DH can't understand why I keep going to the baby groups and nursery rhyme time things and I honestly only do it for Aisling so she gets out and about.

You're lovely hon, I'm sure it's nothing to do with you personally

 

[Sophie1205]

I would have been upset about that too, but I doubt they did it purposely. I dont really like the Mum & Baby groups because they usually are cliquey and Im quite shy so I tend to get ignored. x

 

[mamalove]

I would be upset too,it's really not a nice thing for you.

I only went to Rhyme Time a couple of times,but that was with a friend,i don't think i could go on my own to be honest,it would feel weird starting a conversation with a stranger and i wouldn't know what to talk about lol

 

[Logan's Mum]

Which baby massage class is it can I ask? Its just that your location in the north-east is the same as me, I will be going to one in Newcastle, in Walker. So if that is the one fear not as you will definitely have someone there who loves to go for coffee! (but only if theres cake as well...)