The 'Three is the Magic Number' Group thread

[daddiesgift]

Are any of you ladies nervous about having a third? I think I talk myself out of it every other day!

 

[addy1]

I'm nervous about being so busy! (And I am not looking forward to actually going through labor again!!)

 

[sailorsgirl]

Im nervous, but im most worried about complications reoccurring and having a third c section :/

Xxx

 

[daddiesgift]

I dont really worry about the pregnancy or birth its more the weight gain with this one, attempting breastfeeding again and possibly failing for the last time, how on earth Ill get anything done with #3 and of course just the financial aspect of a 3rd. If anything ever happened to my OH how I would take care of three by myself. But more than anything the how I would get anything done with 3 littles! Its not so bad now but there is some days I want to go hide and pretend not to be a mom!

 

[Nat0609]

Everyone I know says going from one to two is harder than going from two to three (provided the two LOs are well established in a routine).

It's natural to worry about finance and coping but you worry about that with the first, and the second, and the third etc etc etc. You cope cos that's what we do, Mum's have a built in ability to deal with anything

 

[sausages]

Hi girls, so sorry i dropped off the map.

Nat0609, i am so sorry to hear about your loss.


Congratulations to those of you who have dates now, that's so exciting!! Don't forget to update on the grads thread when you move to NTNP / TTC and when you get magic number babies in your bellehs!

Commisserations to those of you who are still waiting without a date or still waiting on DH to come around. I feel your pain!


DH and i have kept an open dialogue (does anyone actually use that phrase in real life?!) about trying for a third and so far we are kind of stuck.

He is such a lovely, lovely and fair man. I don't know what i ever did to deserve him! When he saw how much i wanted it he said that he couldn't see how it would be possible to change his opinion about it, but he will think about it seriously and get advice from friends and close family.

I went to the nurse for the pill and kind of blabbed the whole story to her and she was so sweet! She gave me a prescription for the pill and i just kind of said i would not fill it until i was sure that's what i wanted to do. I have 6 months. So then DH and i had a chat about it and we both said we would rather i didn't go back on the pill because of the side effects. I explained to him that i dislike him pulling out all the time and how i feel it makes sex less intimate and loving if he's pulling out porn star style every time. He doesn't like me taking my temps etc., so we agreed to use the rhythm method. I am fully aware of how risky it is and so is he. I explained that just because i have been Oing on CD17 since i had DS doesn't mean i always will, but he was happy to take the risk. We decided we will call it safe from CD1 to about CD9ish and then safe after about CD20ish.

We have both said that there is no easy way to solve this. If we don't have another i will always harbour resentment about that, no matter how much i know i shouldn't. If we did have another he would resent it every time he felt like he had to work overtime to pay for something etc. because he would feel like he wouldn't have had to do that with only two kids.

In fact, the only way would be either accidental sterilisation like early menopause or something. Or, genuine accidental pregnancy. We may experience the latter due to the risky nature of the contraceptive choice we made, but i'm not stupid. I know how difficult it is to conceive even when you do it on all the right days. Plus, we only have a small amount of time before i will be thinking, "okay, i'm approaching 35 - 40, my kids are older, it's not ideal anymore"

We both agreed that we've never encountered anything this 'big' in our marriage before. It's really tough.

Thanks for listening - again. I don't really have anyone i can talk to about this.

 

[Tanikit]

Nat so sorry you are having to go through this.

Daddiesgift: some days I really feel like I desperately want a third and other days I do wonder - I think for me its debating whether all the work involved to get to the third is worth it - so much admin, so many tests, so many changes and I will still have to persuade DH who thinks we should emigrate rather than have another baby. And then after I get pregnant it won't be easy either, but I also know it would all be worth it in the end when I have that third child in my arms. So for now I will just keep doing whatever step is next to make it happen and see where that leads us.

Sausages good to hear you have made some decisions - maybe in a little while you can look again and see where you are - even men can change their minds.

 

[Nat0609]

Do you think it could be left over HCG?? I know I had positive tests for quite a while after my m/c. Either way, sorry again that you are going through this. It is so hard.

Thanks hun.

No. I had negative tests between. Tests are progressing but not much.

I had bloods done yesterday and think I'll be having repeat bloods tomorrow. Still bleeding though

 

[ZubZub]

Hi ladies!

 

[ZubZub]

Hi Ladies! I'm so glad to have found this thread and hear stories that are so similar to mine. Makes me feel not so alone in this world. My ds is 7 and my dd is 3. I would love, love, love another but oh is not so keen. In fact it wouldn't even occur to him to have another if he didn't know I wanted more. My dd has downs and nearly died at birth - she spent 3 weeks in nicu after being born. She had open heart surgery at 16 weeks. He says he would be happy to have a third if we were guaranteed a normal baby. Obviously I can't guarantee that. So I live life in the wtt room while he's not even in the same house, baby speaking! He's very supportive but I'm 36 this year and feel time is running out.

 

[addy1]

So sorry Nat.....wishing you well, and for a positive outcome!
Take care!

Good to hear from you Sausages! Glad you were able to come to an agreement, and like Tanikit said, maybe you can talk again in a little bit.

Good luck Zub! Hope you get your 3rd

 

[Tanikit]

Nat have you had the tests done yet? How did they go?

My sister in law said yesterday she is pregnant and a lady at church arrived yesterday with her baby who is already a month old but so tiny - it is my SILs first baby and the other lady's second but I couldn't help feeling a tiny bit jealous - I'm happy for them and I am very grateful for the two I have, but would love to do it again.

I am now starting a very detailed account of my sugar levels for my appointment - admin is not my strong point and it means literally writing down your entire life - times of testing, times of waking, eating, what I ate, what the results of the blood tests are and what insulin I took of which kind when. At the moment I have PMS which is never nice when you want a baby, but it also messes my sugar levels up badly so feeling a bit depressed about both. On the positive side I am hoping this will show them that the pump really is a good idea.

Zubzub - my DH also wants a guarantee that everything will go fine - healthy baby, healthy mother, no trips to the ER. I might just try some maths on him and give him some statitistics - while there are no guarantees ever, 99% chance of things all going right has to look better than 50% - right now I am trying to swing odds in favour of an unborn and unthought out baby in my DHs mind.

 

[Nat0609]

My first beta came back at 3!! How the hell do you get BFP with a beta of 3?

Repeat 4 days later came back at 31 so doubling in 30 hours ish.

Repeat beta on Saturday fX. My theory is I implanted two eggs, one didn't stick which caused bleeding and a temporary dip in hCG but it's just a theory.

It could be ectopic too xx

 

[bbygurl719]

Hi all another crazy here. I'm wtt #3 until 2016 or 2017. DH has three kids from previous relationships. One of which we have. And than we have my two dds 20 months on 19th and 7 month on 22nd. We will be haveiing #3 and #4 close in age again. And than I'm done dh has already agreed.I'm excited already and can't wait.

 

[addy1]

My first beta came back at 3!! How the hell do you get BFP with a beta of 3?

Repeat 4 days later came back at 31 so doubling in 30 hours ish.

Repeat beta on Saturday fX. My theory is I implanted two eggs, one didn't stick which caused bleeding and a temporary dip in hCG but it's just a theory.

It could be ectopic too xx

Good luck with everything! You will have to update as soon as you know! Has the bleeding stopped?

 

[Nat0609]

My first beta came back at 3!! How the hell do you get BFP with a beta of 3?

Repeat 4 days later came back at 31 so doubling in 30 hours ish.

Repeat beta on Saturday fX. My theory is I implanted two eggs, one didn't stick which caused bleeding and a temporary dip in hCG but it's just a theory.

It could be ectopic too xx

Good luck with everything! You will have to update as soon as you know! Has the bleeding stopped?

Thanks. I will do.

3 days to go!

Yes the bleeding only lasted a few days xx

 

[ZubZub]

Zubzub - my DH also wants a guarantee that everything will go fine - healthy baby, healthy mother, no trips to the ER. I might just try some maths on him and give him some statitistics - while there are no guarantees ever, 99% chance of things all going right has to look better than 50% - right now I am trying to swing odds in favour of an unborn and unthought out baby in my DHs mind.

Thanks Tanikit. I'm also trying the unthought out baby. I may have received a bit of help in the form of a visit from DH's sister and her three kids. They live far (USA, we're in SA) and have been spending a lot of time with DS and DD. During one sleepover, which was loud and hectic, DH said how nice it was to have a house full of happy children and to see DS playing with cousins his own age (our nieces and nephews all live in other countries). Said not that he would ever advocate having 5 children, but it was nice to have a house full. Plus my DS has been pretty down about not having a sibling who can chat with him (my DD has down syndrome and is still not speaking aged 3) Since then he hasn't been nearly so fussy with contraceptives. Maybe he's hoping for an accident and then he won't have to make a decision! What scares me is if I do fall pg accidentally he'll have a really bad reaction - like he did a few months back when I thought I was pg. Men. So complicated. I hope your DH comes round!

 

[addy1]

My first beta came back at 3!! How the hell do you get BFP with a beta of 3?

Repeat 4 days later came back at 31 so doubling in 30 hours ish.

Repeat beta on Saturday fX. My theory is I implanted two eggs, one didn't stick which caused bleeding and a temporary dip in hCG but it's just a theory.

It could be ectopic too xx

Good luck with everything! You will have to update as soon as you know! Has the bleeding stopped?

Thanks. I will do.

3 days to go!

Yes the bleeding only lasted a few days xx

Love your new ticker!! Fingers crossed and lots of babydust!!

 

[Nat0609]

My first beta came back at 3!! How the hell do you get BFP with a beta of 3?

Repeat 4 days later came back at 31 so doubling in 30 hours ish.

Repeat beta on Saturday fX. My theory is I implanted two eggs, one didn't stick which caused bleeding and a temporary dip in hCG but it's just a theory.

It could be ectopic too xx

Good luck with everything! You will have to update as soon as you know! Has the bleeding stopped?

Thanks. I will do.

3 days to go!

Yes the bleeding only lasted a few days xx

Love your new ticker!! Fingers crossed and lots of babydust!!

I thought I'd be optimistic xx

 

[Tanikit]

Nat good luck with the next test - I have no idea how you get a positive BFP with betas of 3 but maybe that baby just wanted to be known about really early. It sounds good if there has been no more bleeding - fingers crossed for you.

bbygurl719 that is quite a long wait - is there a reason you chose it?