The truth comes out

Discussion in 'Single Parents' started by Maybe1stBaby, Mar 30, 2011.

  1. Maybe1stBaby

    Maybe1stBaby Muffin in the muff!

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    As I type this, sobbing, I am on the phone with FOB's WIFE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    He has 5 kids!!!!!!!! 2 by this current wife, and 3 by the wife before her.

    I am shell shocked, hurt, and I feel so stupid for being so naive.

    Everything he told me was a lie. Oh my god, i can't breathee....
     
  2. billy2mm

    billy2mm Mum of 2 cheeky monkeys!!

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    oh my god hun im so so so sorry!!

    i cant believe how much he lied!!

    was the death of his daughter even true or was that total lies too?

    how did you end up speaking to her?

    :hugs:
     
  3. littlekitten8

    littlekitten8 Mummy of 1

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    Oh babe I'm so sorry! What a complete idiot. How can men think they will get away with all their lies?
     
  4. chels24uk

    chels24uk Well-Known Member

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    OMG!! did she call you? I hope shes not taking him cheating out on you :( I feel so bad for you huni, im so sorry :( What a prick! *hugs* xxx
     
  5. jen1604

    jen1604 Well-Known Member

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    I don't know your story chick but I'm so sorry, you can get through this :hugs:
     
  6. lal

    lal Well-Known Member

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    That gave me chills, I know exactly the feeling in your stomach right now. You poor thing, I am so sorry.
     
  7. Rhio92

    Rhio92 Connor, Saskia, OH & Me

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  8. Maybe1stBaby

    Maybe1stBaby Muffin in the muff!

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    Thank you so much for all your support and kind words. It really means the world to me, as I am isolated from friends and family, 6 weeks pregnant, and not at all financially or emotionally stable right now.

    I've been doing a lot of research, and it's clear to me now this man was a sociopath. He lacks remorse and has no conscience. He is an expert manipulator.

    The story about his daughter---a complete fabrication. He did not have an adult adopted daughter who went to Harvard with a liver transplant that went bad, and then she died.

    He told me all of this CRYING. He is an expert manipulator. Apparently this was to get out of proposing to me---although he said he loved me, took me to Tiffany's, and we even picked out a ring for me. Then he disappeared because of this "daughter" situation.

    He was not in the CIA, he did not have a law degree, he does not have multiple businesses in different parts of the country-----It's all too much to handle right now! I mean, I heard him speak Chinese over the phone to a business associate! Does he really speak 7 languages? I don't know!

    How i found out....well, I started realizing things weren't adding up, and then I found out I was pregnant, and he disappeared to deal with his "grief." Something in my heart knew I didn't deserve this kind of treatment, and I needed to do something. Crying and being alone and uncertain was making me miserable.

    The one time I had access to his Blackberry (he keeps a password on it), I looked and saw a woman's name and I thought it was his mother or his sister. I quickly shut it off without seeing the number (because even though my mom and friends thought something was amiss, I don't abuse trust).

    Anyways, last night I googled her name on the white pages, and i came up with a phone number, and then I got up enough courage to call. I gave his name and a description, and she said, yes this is my husband, we've been married 10 years and have 2 kids. He has 3 kids by a previous wife. She sounded really nice, and not at all upset as I sobbed into the phone for 2 hours. She just babbled on about how she knew he was a sneaky guy, how he doesn't have money, and still owes over $100,000 in back child support to his first wife, how she felt sorry for me, she kinda had a feeling he was cheating but it didn't bother her, how she knew he didn't wear his wedding ring, and how he's a Pisces and Pisces men are like that...and Charlie Sheen is a Pisces...and how our children can play together....

    I was horrified.

    And then I called back about 30 minutes later because she said he would be home, and when he answered the phone, he immediately denied everything and called me crazy. He said I was making everything up. I mean, instead of acting caught red-handed, instead of apologizing, or showing any sign of guilt or remorse, he immediately shifted the blame....like I got myself pregnant? I randomly call up strangers' wives and make up crazy stories?! I know how I'll spend my evenings, going through the white pages and wreaking havoc!

    I cannot describe how difficult last night was. To be pregnant (and not be able to drink my sorrows away) with a monster's child, to have my heartbroken, to feel used and abused, and my trust violated....I sobbed all night, and when I finally got some sleep, I have 4 different vivid nightmares about this man.

    I truly believe he is a sociopath. I don't understand how he could even keep track of all of those detailed lies, the man never stopped talking, and everything was so detailed and in depth! I can't even imagine conning someone like that, I'm the most honest person I know and what's worse is I'm really open-hearted and caring. My mother told me it's my fault for trusting him, and I just feel like curling up in a fetal position and never getting out of bed ever again.

    Here's some info about the behaviors of these kinds of people, I truly hope none of you ever cross paths with these sick individuals.

    https://www.mcafee.cc/Bin/sb.html

    Now I don't know what to do, I'm shattered and I'm really thinking about A, even though I'm against it...I feel broken. My reality has been shattered and I feel like my perception of the world around me is like I'm looking at everything through those mirrors you find in a circus show. I don't know if that makes any sense, but it's all..fragmented.

    Sorry this is long, and thanks again for your support.
     
  9. curlykate

    curlykate Devin's Mommy

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    I'm so sorry. I really don't know what to say other than that.
    It's a horrible situation, but somehow you will get through it.
    Big hugs.
     
  10. AppleBlossom

    AppleBlossom Guest

    Wow, what a low life. Not sure what to say :hugs:
     
  11. Lillismommy

    Lillismommy Well-Known Member

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    I just wanted to give you hugs. What a horrible situation to be put in. :hugs:
     
  12. sophieee18

    sophieee18 Well-Known Member

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    Huge hugs. How awful that must be for you!! Keep strong chick.

    :hugs: :hugs: :hugs:
     
  13. laura1991

    laura1991 Mummy to Lily

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    Wow that must be so hard for you, keep strong :hugs:
     
  14. billy2mm

    billy2mm Mum of 2 cheeky monkeys!!

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    wow what a nutter!!

    how someone could lie about a sick child and a child dying is the lowest of the low!!!

    i know it seems like your whole world has come crashing down but dont give up. your mum needs to know you need support now not blame laid on you.

    :hugs::hugs::hugs:

    if you ever ever want to talk please please pm me hunny.
     
  15. littlekitten8

    littlekitten8 Mummy of 1

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    Oh hunny its not your fault! Your mum is probably just as shocked as you and said that without thinking. He sounds like a real low life and you are better off without him. You are not alone. We are all raising our children single handedly and you will do just great.
     
  16. 18singlemom2b

    18singlemom2b Well-Known Member

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    something very similar happened to me, and i am still carrying this persons child. although the father turned out to be a liar about everything, my daughter is still the best thing that has ever happened to me so far. your pregnant with this child for a reason.
     
  17. Maybe1stBaby

    Maybe1stBaby Muffin in the muff!

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    I am so sorry your FOB turned out to be this way, you must be a really strong person to handle this betrayal and your pregnancy. Thank you for your support.
     
  18. Surreal

    Surreal Me + Little Man = Family.

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    Ditto on this, as well. My son's father lied about his situation, and then turned around and sicced his wife on me, after the truth came out and I gave him an ultimatum. And then because I refused to give *my* son *his* last name, went and knocked up his wife a couple months later! They're having a little boy, now! :dohh:

    I know it's hard, but I found the best thing is to move on, and find yourself somewhere else. Remember, that baby is *your's*; your blood, your genetics, and eventually, the person s/he will look up to and attempt to mimic. A father is simply a second set of DNA code to complete the genetical makeup -- you will provide the upbringing and environment that will determine this child's life. He's just a sperm donor.

    If you need anyone to talk with, your welcome to PM me... I know it's hard, it took me a while to cope, but, eventually I was able to do it, and feel all the better for it.
     
  19. pinkribbon

    pinkribbon Mum of 3 boys

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    I'm not quite sure what to say. Just wanted to send a :hugs:. That horrible man.
     
  20. manda22

    manda22 Well-Known Member

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    Wow I am so sorry. And this guy lives in Cali? You should put out a public service notice for the next poor girl that falls for this guy. Stay strong momma!
     

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