The wrong thing to say to a TTCer! Tell us here ;-)

[MackMomma8]

I wish I had never told anyone that my OH and I were trying but my damn big mouth told a bunch of people cuz I was so excited because I wanted for a year for OH to be ready! I just had someone ask me so how itw going? Then I told her and she said im stressing to much and to stop... ya ok i wish there was an on and off switch...
then she told me well my doctor told me to have sex only on one day between cycle day 12 and 20.. it worked for me! So i replied well my OH doesnt really want to wait that long to have sex.. he is a man after all ... to which she replied "well if he wants to get you pregnant then hes gonna have to do it" ... cuz thats the only way it will happen.. and last time i checked old spermies arent the best..

Neither are unhappy OH's. I hate women who only have sex with their OH when it's 'baby-making' time. Sex is still fun, remember??? It's not just about making a baby!!

 

[pdxmamabear]

and as to affording a kid...your never going to be able to afford a kid...if you wait til then...youll never have one!

its soo true, when i have people that say they are waiting to ttc cause they wanna be financially ready i laugh, cause there is no financially ready for a kid unless you were born into money i think..,

my latest aggravating comment is unfortunately from the DH " your just weird your not pregnant, who in the world 'calculates' when they are supposed to have a period then gets excited when its supposedly late? why would anyone be concerned if they miss a period?"

i have decided that although this is his second marriage his ex-wife must not have been very open with him (surprise surprise) about her cycle.

 

[Calially]

My top one would have to be 'I'm pregnant!' but only when it comes from someone you know either hasn't had to try or they're irresponsible and don't appreciate what they have been given.

The next one came from my Mother when I told her I'd came off my pill in November, it hurt more than I think she realised and has put thoughts in my mind which haven't helped keep my stress levels down. She said 'you've been off the pill since November and you're not pregnant? Oh! There's something wrong with you! Go see a doctor!'

Yeah...that filled me to the brim with confidence :S

 

[countrygirl86]

MackMomma - I'm with ya! The baby comes as a result of sex, not the other way round!

 

[pdxmamabear]

Agreed !!!

 

[pinkreality]

"You can't afford a kid, anyway...."

Yeah, that one made me see RED.

LOL THATS HORRIBLE! Wow.

 

[Tulips19]

My younger cousin who got pregnant once by accident and the 2nd time after two weeks of trying has told me more than once, "I hope you don't have any trouble trying to get pregnant" in such a smug tone. I would just like to slap her. One of these days I am gonna snap back at her "Just because I didn't get knocked up by a guy I knew for 3 months on accident doesn't mean I am infertile!" !!

 

[Madbuthopeful]

Ha ha Tulips19 I love that last line. OK so about a month ago I was talking to customer at work and he asked if I had kids. I said "no not yet". He said "well good your young you should finish school first before you even think about that anyways". I then told him "actually I just m/c a month ago and I'd love to try again." Im 22 very settled and my boyfriend of over 4 years and I are doing very well so to that man. Mind your business!!!!

 

[sugarpi24]

i have a mouth on me to madbuthopeful..sometimes not a good thing.. but gotta love it! ppl are so irrating sometimes!!!

 

[Tulips19]

Ha ha Tulips19 I love that last line. OK so about a month ago I was talking to customer at work and he asked if I had kids. I said "no not yet". He said "well good your young you should finish school first before you even think about that anyways". I then told him "actually I just m/c a month ago and I'd love to try again." Im 22 very settled and my boyfriend of over 4 years and I are doing very well so to that man. Mind your business!!!!

No kidding! The things that some people say! Shudder!

 

[Coconuts]

My top one would have to be 'I'm pregnant!' but only when it comes from someone you know either hasn't had to try or they're irresponsible and don't appreciate what they have been given.

The next one came from my Mother when I told her I'd came off my pill in November, it hurt more than I think she realised and has put thoughts in my mind which haven't helped keep my stress levels down. She said 'you've been off the pill since November and you're not pregnant? Oh! There's something wrong with you! Go see a doctor!'

Yeah...that filled me to the brim with confidence :S

Cuts even deeper when it's from your Mom. Especially when it expressed your worst fears. There nothing wrong with you Calially some of us just take a little longer.

 

[countryblonde]

Top two....

Just stop thinking about it, then it'll happen....
how on the world do you stop thinking about it?? id like to know that really...

And the other is 'oh well your still so young you have lots of time'
Im 25 and been ttc for just over a year...married for 3....when will people get it through their heads that age has nothing to do with it one... and i don't want kids later...

I also just told a friend we have been ttc for a year. and she says to me 'Is that hard' (I have three other friend in the group preggers right now. two weren't trying) like really who asks that.. no its the easiest thing I've ever dealt with...of course its friggen hard...

Ppl can just be so dumb sometimes.

 

[skookie]

Okay, i'm convinced, based on all these comments, my decision not to tell anyone besides close family and friends we are TTC was well-founded.

Although.. I am continually amazed at how many people in my everyday life will ask me if I'm pregnant simply because I don't feel well or have a dr.'s appointment, etc. people are funny.

 

[usmcwife.em]

Oh boy. I've heard so many of these comments so many times and even though you hear them all the time, they sting just as much.

DH and I have been TTC for 4 years to no avail. We get "you're young, you've got plenty of time" Well I'm almost 25 and he's almost 24, and the women in my family have a history of cancer after age 30. Not to mention we've always wanted at least 3 kids, at least 18 months apart. Not knowing why I haven't been able to get pregnant makes it that much harder to think we'll ever have kids.

"Don't think about it/You're stressing too much" Um.. How on earth do you stop yourself from thinking about it when it's literally all you think, hope, pray, dream, wish for? I literally dream about it 5 of the 7 nights a week. Even DH has started having crazy baby dreams.

So frustrating!!!!!! Hugs to all of you!! And tons of

 

[babyonthemind]

This thread is great! I'm sorry for all you ladies who have been having a hard time and been getting insensitive comments. I totally understand.

My mothers comments are the ones that piss me off the most, she's always telling me I'm overreacting, trying too hard, not relaxing, etc. This coming from a women who conceived all three of her children one the first try! As if she has the slightest clue what it's like to wait month after month!

Just the other day, she said to me "Oh I mentioned that you've been TTC for a while to this woman this other day (wtf? why is she talking about my private life with everyone?) and the woman said that 9 months is nothing!, So, you should relax."
Oh, of course! The woman with the all-encompassing wisdom who knows nothing about PCOS or prostatitis. Why didn't we seek her advice sooner?

 

[usmcwife.em]

I hate that! My mom always says we'er "trying too hard" and "relax, it'll happen" but she went through some issues when TTC the 2nd time, she wound up on 3 cycles of Clomid and that's when she had my twin sisters. So you'd think she'd show a little compassion seeing that we've been TTC for 4 years with no clue as to why we're incapable of conceiving. And of course every time we set up doctors appointments, something comes up or insurance lapses (work issues/military issues) and we can't seem to get any information. So frustrating! I'm about ready to buy clomid off the black market!! HAHAHAHA (That was just a joke. Didn't mean to offend anyone, if I did, my sincerest apologies)

 

[Bettydraper]

Hiya when i had my 2nd mc and me and my partner decided to try again. My partners mum said well uv lost 2 now so doesnt look like you can have kids ( that really upset me) then a month or so later my dad said is it really worth bothering if your just going to keep losing them. And my partner has said well its got to be you as ive proven its not me because i have a kid ( he has a child from a previous relationship) my friend turned around and said you need to relax and stop wanting a baby so much otherwise your going to make your body think its pregnant and your get a bfp and it will turn out your not even pregnant (what the hell) as you can tell i have such supportive family and friends NOT. But im a fighter and il soldier on

OMG!!! sent them LL back and get a refund! If it wasn't so scary it would be kind of funny

 

[coralym30]

i hate it when my mother in law says "oh if hes like his father you guy will just have to look at eachother to get pregnant" ....

and i hate it how my sister in law is always pregnant and doesent even take care of his kids and just pawns them off the her parents all the time but i guess she gonna get pregnant again some time soon . pretty bad when her own father tells her to keep her leggs closed . yet i cant be blessed witha child errg

 

[silmarien]

I basically generally hate the "you'll get pregnant when you stop trying"! OH I WASN'T FREAKIN AWARE THAT EVERYONE WHO GETS PREGNANT JUST GETS A STORK VISIT ONE DAY! Durr of COURSE you have to try! It's called SEX! Idiots....

Sorry, I just got this comment and it drives me insane.

 

[Coconuts]

Silmarien, look at that ticker.
good luck testing Sunday (if you can wait)

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