Things not to say to a not pregnant woman!

[Kiki1993]

Seeing as theres threads for this for pregnant women thought us non preggos could have some fun with it too.
So has anyone said anything to you guys which hurt or was just like.. what?

We have the "why haven't you had a baby yet" at least 3 times a day by family members and friends.

And in Asda I was buying a friends baby shower gift, I was constipated and really bloated and in a tight top. The cashier asks me when i'm due. I was embarrassed and didn't want to say i'm not pregnant im just fat so i just said "September 5th" .. i wanted to grab my bags and go but she pushed some more, "aw have you got any names?" ... I was like "Mirren" .. meanwhile my other half is standing there looking at me as if to say.. what the fuck are you doing?

Anyone else?

 

[wtbmummy]

great idea!!!

The other week I bumped into our old neighbour in asda, i was wearing a dress and leggings (at this point i had lost 8lbs since start my diet) and she said oh your having no.2 now how great for you. I just said no I just havent shifted the weight from this little man yet
I was so embarassed as I also felt I looked great that day as I had lost 8lbs (2lb that morning)
I just came away thinking "i wish i was"

We also get the when are you having another. Will you have another etc... All the time.
We got fed up and told everyone we not having anymore to shut people up, now here we are a month and a half away from ttc no.2

Think some people will fall over with suprise when we do cause we made everyone so sure

 

[wishuwerehere]

Oh you have 2, you don't want anymore....(thanks for telling me what i think)

Are you going to try for a boy?

 

[krissie328]

Every time I don't feel good. "Are you pregnant?"

Or when are you going to have #2? You don't want this one to be spoiled.

Or my mother and friend are always on me to not have any more.

It gets really annoying listening to everyone else's opinion on the number of children I should have.

Before I had this one everyone always asked me when we were going to have one. Since we were married 9 years before his birth. Finally I started telling them we were struggling with fertility and they shut up fast.

 

[Kiki1993]

Aw gosh i know how you feel about the weight thing wtbmummy I have lost a stone since new year and felt great the other day, I was power walking with the dog and OH and my sisters friend bumped into us and asked why we were walking so fast, i said power walking to try shift some weight, she replied with... "is there really a point? When you get pregnant you will get fat anyway, I just waited till all my kids were out then I lost it all" ... I didn't realise I shouldn't try lose weight just because apparently, news to me, we are trying or will be very soon :/ strange people.
@Wishyouwerehere aw i would hate people assuming you will keep trying jsut for a girl, you want a baby, why does everyone think you need to keep trying till both sex's have been birthed lol!
@Krissie328 yeah everytime i get sick or queasy someone will whisper "morning sickness"

I really don't think people realising how everytime someone makes little comments like this it kinda breaks my heart, i want a baby so badly.

The worse comments I get though is when i say "i can't wait to have a baby" and all my friends with kids go on their high horse and tell me all the reasons not to want to be pregnant or have a baby .. the endless nights (really i didn't realise babies woke you up :O), the constant care (I thought you just left babies to their own devices) or the you can never sleep when pregnant and your so uncomfortable (never would have guessed that) ... lol I do know they are just trying to help keep my mind off waiting but honestly you would think they thought i didn't know anything about babies! Not that i have a career in childcare or anything! Or helped raise my nephew .. I know perfectly well the bad and good bits, but they still go on about it like i couldn't possibly understand because i'm childless. Crazy people!

 

[tverb84]

Luckily no one has asked me when I'm having children....yet. I wouldn't ask someone when they're going to have children unless they were a very good friend of mine and I don't feel comfortable asking such a personal question. Not to mention you never know what someone can be going through.

 

[AnonymousCAT]

The question "do you have any children?" After experiencing a loss while ttc our first asked by my clients. Ugh. These questions should be off topic to anyone.

 

[Poodle popper]

Oh yes, I've had a few of these directed at me in the past...

How many is in there?
Are you going to give birth right now? (Really!)
You must be nearly due.. (No I'm 8 weeks pregnant, I'm not kidding I have the most ridiculous bloating once I conceive)
One thing I really dislike is people groping my belly
You shouldn't have found out the gender
It will hurt you know!

 

[tverb84]

Oh yes, I've had a few of these directed at me in the past...

How many is in there?
Are you going to give birth right now? (Really!)
You must be nearly due.. (No I'm 8 weeks pregnant, I'm not kidding I have the most ridiculous bloating once I conceive)
One thing I really dislike is people groping my belly
You shouldn't have found out the gender
It will hurt you know!

I would be very comfortable if someone I didn't know touched my stomach. I'd probably tell them off. If it were someone I knew like a family member or friend it wouldn't bother me.

 

[bakedbean]

One thing I really dislike is people groping my belly

I hate that people do that to others! When im pregnant, if i ever had someone grope my belly (a stranger) I'd probably slap them! My OH knows I'd do this and finds the thought hilarious! I can't believe that some random stranger thinks it's okay to touch a pregnant ladies bump!

And in Asda I was buying a friends baby shower gift, I was constipated and really bloated and in a tight top. The cashier asks me when i'm due. I was embarrassed and didn't want to say i'm not pregnant im just fat so i just said "September 5th" .. i wanted to grab my bags and go but she pushed some more, "aw have you got any names?" ... I was like "Mirren" .. meanwhile my other half is standing there looking at me as if to say.. what the fuck are you doing?

Anyone else?

Oh no, Poor you! I have to admit, if i knew you and was there, I would have been in stitches!


I had my mum ask the other day when i was planning to have children - I just told her it was a secret! She is too opinionated.

I always have the 'don't leave it too long' comments and then the 'babies are hard work' comments as well. It's one of the reasons i won't be telling anyone when we're ttc! (which is a bit weird anyway - essentially you're just saying 'we will be having lots of sex!)

 

[Flossie_Aus]

Probably not completely fitting to the thread but my Grandmother said something to me yesterday that really got under my skin..

"You're not going to be able to have your pets AND kids, it will be too much work,"

Oh really? Just you watch me.

 

[Autumnflower]

Oh do I have a list...
"So when will you be having kids??"
"You shouldn't wait too long..."
"You're lucky we are pregnant its less pressure for you guys"
"When are you going to pop out a baby?"
"I really wish you'd have children soon"

Then you get the exact opposite comments:

"Don't have a baby its so much work"
"Why would you want kids?"
"You'll never get any sleep once you have a baby"
"Don't have kids"

Oh the list goes on... Its all very annoying mostly because everyone feels they have a say in your fertility and family planning and EVERYONE has a completely different opinion so you're damned if you do and damned if you don't.

 

[george83]

I've just had my third boy and would love to try for a 4th in the hope of having my much wanted baby girl and all I hear from anybody is "3 boys? Are you going to try for your girl?" I genuinely could cry each time I get asked

 

[AnnieMac2]

While this is so aggravating, I just burst out laughing at op. Sept. 5...Mirren. Lol!

Autumnflower..."You're lucky we're pregnant it's less pressure for you guys." Holy shit. That might be the worst thing I've heard. Ever.

I also hate that you can't turn down a drink without being interrogated or getting "knowing" looks from people who don't know anything. I regret telling anyone we were planning on trying.

I'm starting to think people are insane. This entire topic is so out of hand. We've had one pregnancy that ended in a loss and people have really shown how bizarre and insensitive they are. I only told a few select people and even a couple of their reactions blew my mind!

I love this thread.

 

[tverb84]

Probably not completely fitting to the thread but my Grandmother said something to me yesterday that really got under my skin..

"You're not going to be able to have your pets AND kids, it will be too much work,"

Oh really? Just you watch me.

My dad said something like this to my brother and his girlfriend. They have two dogs and are expecting their first child in July. I know they're not going to get rid of their dogs when my niece is born.

 

[Autumnflower]

Anniemac2 that comment has been said in various ways by more than one person!! Can you believe it? The first time I heard it I was so shocked I just stared at them... I've learned to fake a laugh just to avoid awkwardness but one of these days I'm going to say what's on my mind..

 

[Flossie_Aus]

My dad said something like this to my brother and his girlfriend. They have two dogs and are expecting their first child in July. I know they're not going to get rid of their dogs when my niece is born.

We have two small dogs, and two parrots (one medium, one large), one of which is a loud cockatoo. I am determined to make it work. People do it every day, why can't I? Of course my child will come first, but I'm not just going to abandon my fur/feather babies at the first sign of difficulty. They have been by my side through all my health problems and depression, to deaths door and back again, some days I'm happier to see them than I am to see my husband LOL

 

[AnnieMac2]

Autumn -I know, I'd have to keep my sarcastic self from saying something like, "I am forever grateful. Thanks for the sacrifice."

And yes, it is entirely possible to feed and walk a dog in addition to having a child. In fact, I've even seen this rarity accomplished without the house imploding. It's probably also harder to have two children than one. Should we get rid of the first child when number two comes along?

But full disclosure: I probably love my dog to a concerning extent

 

[krissie328]

Oh I like how I keep getting told that since DS is such a great baby number 2 is going to be difficult, Colicky and sick.

 

[kksy9b]

^^this! I get "well you better get ready for yhr next one, they'll be a terror".... REALLY?! Who would ever DARE say that to a parent about their child? So why is it okay to make comments about future children?