Things the grandparents do/say that drive you mad

Chocoholic123

Well-Known Member
Joined
Nov 11, 2010
Messages
1,451
Reaction score
0
MIL does and says so many annoying things re LO, I won't even go there it would take all day! My mum is generally very good and supportive but the one thing that drives me mad is her obsession with the dummy! I've weaned LO off the dummy for awake time a few months ago he now just has it for naps and sleep and he understands that it works well but my mum just can't accept it! She gave me and my brother dummies til we were bit older and she can't understand my way and every time LO opens his mouth to make a sound she's like oh can be have his dummy even though it's not him that wants it!

What does everyone else get driven mad by the grandparents doing or saying re LO?
 
Both my mum and in-laws are great overall but there are always going to be a few niggly issues I guess no matter how well you get on. My mum lives far away so rarely has LO on her own. However my MIL looks after him quite often and what annoys me is that she seems to get too obsessed playing and having fun with him to remember the basic necessities - she rarely changes his nappy so it's always full, if her mum is there with her (she fusses a lot) she won't even try to put him down for a nap and just the other week I picked him up and his nose was all crusty where she hadn't wiped it enough.

They are only minor things and she is generally really good with him and he loves going there but it does wind me up that she forgets the basic stuff even if it is boring it needs to be done!
 
My MIL keeps trying to stick her finger in my newborn's mouth to suck on. Gross
 
In general my Mum and Dad are fantastic with both kids, and I am so grateful to them for watching the girls whilst I'm on placement.

However, niggles are...

Mum sometimes winds Roo up something awful, and doesn't stop when it goes past fun and into Roo getting stressed. Like she'll sit with one of Roo's toys and go "My toy!" and it'll start as a silly game with Roo going "No, my toy!" but then when she really doesn't get it back after a few back & forths, she starts to get upset and Mum still doesn't give in :dohh: If I'm there then I intervene, but I worry about it when I'm not there, and I don't think it's really helping to teach Roo to share :dohh:

We had to put our foot down about snacks when Roo is there, as it got to the point where Roo was asked "Would you like a snack? Chocolate gems, chocolate buttons or crisps." :dohh: She is allowed all those things in small amounts, but it was getting ridiculous. So we've had to drive home the "sometimes foods" angle (for both Roo and my parents!) and thankfully they have taken that on board and she gets fruit or cheese or toast etc now.

Toiletting. Oh lord. We've been having problems with Roo regressing with her toilet training (which I'm sure is related to Moomin's arrival). Anyway, my Mum is blinking neurotic :nope: I knew that my parents were a bit OTT with this - I ended up on laxatives aged 8 because I had such a mental block around going to the loo that I pretty much gave myself fecal impaction :blush: :dohh: Anyway, I am trying to avoid the same thing happening with Roo, and what we try is gentle encouragement and reminders, and sometimes it's a case of "Right, before we do X, we're all going to the toilet". So far that's working well. But damn, my Mum just can't let it go and will badger and badger at Roo: "Do you need a pee? I think you need a pee. Come on, try and do a pee" and Roo (being a stubborn little thing) just digs her toes in and refuses. And then 20 minutes later she'll have an accident, and the whole thing starts again. This last week has been better though, so fingers crossed.

OK, that was a bit of an essay :p Amazing how much I can type when I'm procrastinating...
 
My niggle is the same for both my mum and mil...they will not accept that dd has an early bedtime and continually try to distract her with toys(my mum) and singing at her/jiggling her (mil) when she is clearly ready to drop. Then they say "oh she stayed up to seven FOR ME". Yeah,but she was up half the night and was up stupidly early! And then it takes me two days to sort her out!
 
My MIL is great with the boys but the one thing that drives me mad is if i am feeding them something she doesn't like she'd say 'oh that's foul' or 'that smells foul'. I had to ask DH to have a word with her about it as the last thing I wanted to hear from my children was them calling their dinner 'foul'!!!!!!
 
Sometimes my mother undermines what I say and does the opposite like if I don't want LO to go outside for some reason she says "oh it's ok" and takes him outside. He's young now but I want him to know that I have final say and my mother ignores my authority then he will too when he's old enough to understand.

My mil has the impression that grandchildren should survive solely on sugar. On his birthday he had a couple of spoonfuls of cake but then I gave him fruit which he loves. She told me he should be having cake, not fruit! Who says that?!? She brings him cartons of cookies, big bags of candy, and huge bars of chocolate. It all goes in the trash and he's too young to even notice it but soon enough he'll want it and then what do I do? I really don't let him have any sugar at all as we do not have any in the house but I worry about how much sugar she is exposing him to. Even though we have explained to her how we feel about sugar!
 
Sometimes my mother undermines what I say and does the opposite like if I don't want LO to go outside for some reason she says "oh it's ok" and takes him outside. He's young now but I want him to know that I have final say and my mother ignores my authority then he will too when he's old enough to understand.

My mil has the impression that grandchildren should survive solely on sugar. On his birthday he had a couple of spoonfuls of cake but then I gave him fruit which he loves. She told me he should be having cake, not fruit! Who says that?!? She brings him cartons of cookies, big bags of candy, and huge bars of chocolate. It all goes in the trash and he's too young to even notice it but soon enough he'll want it and then what do I do? I really don't let him have any sugar at all as we do not have any in the house but I worry about how much sugar she is exposing him to. Even though we have explained to her how we feel about sugar!
 
hmm, both my mum and mil are great! Mil really is lovely, and i honestly cant think of anything she does that irritates me. I would say though, that when paige was younger, she didnt change her nappy enough, but other than that she lets me do it my way, and asks before doing anything.
My mum doesnt do anything irritating either :-S emmmm, cant even think of anything, i always wanted to parent Paige the way my mum parented me, so we are very similar =)
 
My parents generally understand my parenting choices and will respect them but ILs are a complete & utter different story!

They say that I should let DS nap when & for how long he wants... They don't have to have the struggle of getting him to sleep on a night if he's napped after 2pm.

They talk to him in "baby talk" & TBH I think once their past about 6 months you should talk to them properly!

They still feed him but then complain wen he doesn't fed himself, WFT?!?

Compare him constantly to their other grandchild...
There is loads! lmao
 
My LO likes to sleep in. She mostly sleeps until 9am but she has a habit of sleep crying for a few seconds at around 0630. Not sure why (she does the same at 11pm) EVERY friggin time I visit my MIL's she gets LO up at 0630 which results in one very cross baby! I don't know HOW many times I have to say to leave her because she's not actually awake but she wont listen! She's always making comments about LO being in nursery (she detests nursery) always commenting on me not automatically giving in to LO if she moans. Her house is truly revolting and so she doesnt care if LO throws her food around, I am stricter at home but told at my MIL's to "leave her, shes exploring" which is all good and well but its a hard habit to crack once at home! I have never been one to carry around my LO as she just doesn't like it (shes always been very independent with mobility) but my MIL carries her everywhere and she can walk! She's walked for 7 months and doesn't need to be carried!!! I find after a weekend at the MIL's I am left with a child that doesn't resemble my normal child but a child that is moany and clingy because shes gotten used to endless flapping and being carried everywhere and getting her own way! She throws food, cries if shes not allowed a biscuit (MIL lets her eat whatever) and wants to watch TV all day because MIL doesn't condone TV viewing!
I sound like a harsh parent but I try to breed independence and my parenting style has resulted in an extremely happy and content child who is really easy going and sleeps brilliantly. My MIL's parenting style resulted in 4 excessively clingy children who were absolute nightmares! In just a weekend I can see why!
 
My mother winds my LO up far too much, she takes a favourite toy away, offers it and as soon as he attempts to collect it she takes it back and she won't stop even though he is crying his eyes out. My dad has a go at her for doing it which helps, she also gives him juice when I insist he only have water. So each time I have to wean him of it.
 
My Mum is great and lets me get on with things my way but my MIL is just too much!!!
She likes to explain my sons every like and dislike when ever we collect him if they have had him for the day (like I dont know) She tells me how ''Harrison is a good boy, but this lets him down or he cant do that or he needs to be doing this by now'' arrrgggggggghhhhhhh its so frustrating! for some reason he occasionally wakes early in the morning around 5.30ish but if he is left he will talk to his ''george pig'' for 5 mins then drop bk off until 7 -7.30am ish but if he is at hers she will get him up, so then we have a grumpy 2yr old all day :-(
They also like to stay with Harrison while he falls asleep cause they ''dont want to upset him'' WTF!!!!! He doesnt have this at home so why would he need it at there house!!!
She thinks because shes had 3 kids, she's the worlds best mother!! seriously...annoying!!

Ahhhhhh thats better.....thanks for the vent girls :)
 
Erm they're both pretty good tbh!! They are probably more strict than I am! My mum likes to give him sugary yoghurts but that's a little thing. I'm not gonna join in the parent bashing on this one I'm afraid!!
 
"just leave him he isnt doing any harm!" as he tries to stick his finger in a plug socket..
 
"just leave him he isnt doing any harm!" as he tries to stick his finger in a plug socket..

FIL and his wife are the same - they refuse to put plug socket covers in when we visit and say 'its a wonder our generation survived we never had any of that'!!
 
I love my mum and my mil. They are both great in their own ways but of course they do things that annoy me!

My Mum is far to over protective (as mad as that sounds). For example. Aria was jumping on her bed and managed to bump her chin. My mum starts screaming 'Oh God there's blood, she's bleeding'. I just took Aria away from the room and sat her down and as I suspected their was no blood. I grew up with my mum so I know how she can over react to things. I just don't want my children to be scared to try things in case they get hurt. Other than that my mum is fantastic. She follows my routines and my parenting to a tee and I am really grateful.

My mil doesnt actually annoy me that much! If I had to bug bare then I would say its the fact they she never takes both my kids together. In fact she hardly takes my son at all. I know she loves them both equally, theres no doubt with that, but she just finds it easier I suppose with Aria because she can talk/walk etc whereas Xander is still a baby and needs to be carried, fed etc.

xxx
 
Both are usually great but they do stick their ores in too much sometimes.

Had a big argument with my mum yesterday about how much we had spent on Xmas presents.

I am only 19 though so I sometimes think my parents think I need them to "support" me and I don't at all.
 
My mum's great too but if we are having a whinge....

She is advice central station. Drives me insane. I try to just nod and say hmmhmm but after awhile I lose my patience with it. I am a 34 year old professional for god sake...we've got it under control thanks!

She also feels very competitive - like she wants it to be known she was the most fabulous parent (she's great but that is debatable). She will have my son for a visit then announce all the "new" things he can do that presumably he only does at her house. She also has to tell us all about his preferences that naturally only she has been perceptive enough to notice. She also exaggerates the things that he can do when she has him - she practically has him reciting the constitution when in her care.

Also in the vein of competitiveness, she likes to point out all the homemade crafts and baking she used to do with us. I have to remind her that while I am devoted to my child, unlike her fabulous self DH and I work full time and sometimes that means store-bought will have to do.

ahhh. A nice Friday vent. Don't get me started on MIL.
 
Granddad putting on TV constantly when LOs go over!!! LOL drives me up the wall. dont mind now and again but not all the time x
 

Users who are viewing this thread

Members online

Latest posts

Forum statistics

Threads
1,650,306
Messages
27,144,859
Members
255,758
Latest member
yednow
Back
Top
monitoring_string = "c48fb0faa520c8dfff8c4deab485d3d2"
<-- Admiral -->