MissMorson
New Member
- Joined
- Jul 12, 2014
- Messages
- 3
- Reaction score
- 0
Hi all, this is my first post on this site. I have read often, but never posted.
I just today got my BFP, and the last nine years have been loooong regarding TTC, I thought I'd post this story in case I can motivate anyone else to keep going if you're feeling downhearted.
I should first state I have two beautiful boys, 6 and 2.5. Both were a struggle to conceive. The first was after 2 years of TTC naturally, then a failed IVF, then 3 months of Chinese herbs and twice weekly acupuncture - thankfully that worked and we had our first beautiful baby. I had just turned 32 when I had him. It's funny how wanting something for so long makes you appreciate it so much - I adore him more than the moon and the stars.
Second son - After I finished breastfeeding, we tried again naturally, had acupuncture and herbs, unfortunately got nowhere (however I was 35 by this time and felt a bit rushed for time). After 18 months we ended up at a fertility specialists' office. He tested my AMH, which came back LOW - 1.2 I think? He was very grave about this, saying kindly but firmly that we needed to move to aggressive IVF ASAP, as this was my only chance of conceiving, and hopefully quickly. We agreed, and we left his office and cried in the car. Whose body gives up on them at 35 for goodness sakes? Anyway, I put on my big girl pants and got on with it. First full cycle - failed. We didn't even get to egg pick up (my centre liked to see 12-15eggs per cycle as an average)
Second full cycle - cancelled - nothing survived long enough in culture to transfer Third full cycle - only 3 eggs picked up, by day 1, only one fertilised. I'm panicking by this stage. By day three it is of average quality, and my doctor gently tells me there is no use waiting to transfer at day 5, so we transfer that day. Then the TWW...... Miraculously that one little embryo is now sleeping beside me - my rambunctious and beautiful 2.5 year old who I could just watch for hours, despite his naughtiness 
I love and appreciate my two beautiful children more than I can put into words, however I always wanted three kids, for as long as I can remember, and despite the horrible emotional journey we'd been through, we thought we'd give it one more shot. After I finished breastfeeding DS2, we tried unsuccessfully on our own for 3 months. I again headed off to the fertility doc. I think he was a bit disappointed to see me again, only because he knew my AMH was probably worse than last time which made me a hard case, and although sincere and kind, I'm sure their success rate per cycle is of importance to their clinic. We did one full cycle in November - only collected 4 eggs, two fertilised, one made it to day 3 transfer - BFN. Second cycle was in February - 6 eggs collected, two fertilised, one made it to transfer - BFN. Third cycle in May - highest possible dose of drugs, crazy emotional wreck due to hormones, 4 eggs collected, zero fertilisation. I was gutted. I felt like my body had failed. I was so disappointed and deflated.
I received a call the next day from my specialist. He gently told me that, as they had me on the highest legal dose of drugs, my body had responded like that of a pre-menopausal woman. He gently told me that there was nothing more that they could do for me, that he was very sorry, and would I like counselling. I thanked him for his courtesy and turned down the counselling, stating that I have two of the most beautiful children and I am everyday grateful for what I have. Once you've taken the IVF path - what everyone considers the be-all and end-all of fertility treatment - and they tell you "there is nothing more we can do for you", that is the ultimate kick in the pants. Although I DO know how lucky I am to have two fabulous, healthy, happy kids, at the time of that news I lost all perspective. I pulled away from my family for a few days, and from everyone, to lick my wounds. I cried, I took long baths, I didn't return any calls. I basically sooked. By about three days, I started searching online like no-one's business. I'm currently 38, not 'too old' yet, but 'advanced maternal age' as the fertility world calls it. I read just about everything I could get my hands on about fertility, supplements, herbs. I started (CD 3 after my failed IVF) taking 2,000mg Vitex per day, 1000mg AM and 1000mg PM. I started taking a liquid B complex with Vitamin C twice a day - felt good taking it, too, great energy (never got that from a capsule). I also took 100mg of liquid B6 per day. I thought what the hell - I've been written off by the medical profession. There's nothing else but to do my best on my own, despite my crappy AMH and my supposedly 'pre-menopausal' response to drugs. If it's going to happen it will, if not then it wasn't meant to.
We'll low and behold, my FIRST CYCLE after bring written off as a hopeless case, at 38 I have a NATURAL BFP! Who knows if it's sticky, I sure am praying so, but it gives me motivation that those doctors, with all their years of study and all of their experience, still don't know everything.
I'm hoping that those who feel a bit deflated might come across this and get a pick-me-up, because I truly now believe anything is possible.
Sticky dust to all x
I just today got my BFP, and the last nine years have been loooong regarding TTC, I thought I'd post this story in case I can motivate anyone else to keep going if you're feeling downhearted.
I should first state I have two beautiful boys, 6 and 2.5. Both were a struggle to conceive. The first was after 2 years of TTC naturally, then a failed IVF, then 3 months of Chinese herbs and twice weekly acupuncture - thankfully that worked and we had our first beautiful baby. I had just turned 32 when I had him. It's funny how wanting something for so long makes you appreciate it so much - I adore him more than the moon and the stars.
Second son - After I finished breastfeeding, we tried again naturally, had acupuncture and herbs, unfortunately got nowhere (however I was 35 by this time and felt a bit rushed for time). After 18 months we ended up at a fertility specialists' office. He tested my AMH, which came back LOW - 1.2 I think? He was very grave about this, saying kindly but firmly that we needed to move to aggressive IVF ASAP, as this was my only chance of conceiving, and hopefully quickly. We agreed, and we left his office and cried in the car. Whose body gives up on them at 35 for goodness sakes? Anyway, I put on my big girl pants and got on with it. First full cycle - failed. We didn't even get to egg pick up (my centre liked to see 12-15eggs per cycle as an average)
Second full cycle - cancelled - nothing survived long enough in culture to transfer Third full cycle - only 3 eggs picked up, by day 1, only one fertilised. I'm panicking by this stage. By day three it is of average quality, and my doctor gently tells me there is no use waiting to transfer at day 5, so we transfer that day. Then the TWW...... Miraculously that one little embryo is now sleeping beside me - my rambunctious and beautiful 2.5 year old who I could just watch for hours, despite his naughtiness I love and appreciate my two beautiful children more than I can put into words, however I always wanted three kids, for as long as I can remember, and despite the horrible emotional journey we'd been through, we thought we'd give it one more shot. After I finished breastfeeding DS2, we tried unsuccessfully on our own for 3 months. I again headed off to the fertility doc. I think he was a bit disappointed to see me again, only because he knew my AMH was probably worse than last time which made me a hard case, and although sincere and kind, I'm sure their success rate per cycle is of importance to their clinic. We did one full cycle in November - only collected 4 eggs, two fertilised, one made it to day 3 transfer - BFN. Second cycle was in February - 6 eggs collected, two fertilised, one made it to transfer - BFN. Third cycle in May - highest possible dose of drugs, crazy emotional wreck due to hormones, 4 eggs collected, zero fertilisation. I was gutted. I felt like my body had failed. I was so disappointed and deflated.
I received a call the next day from my specialist. He gently told me that, as they had me on the highest legal dose of drugs, my body had responded like that of a pre-menopausal woman. He gently told me that there was nothing more that they could do for me, that he was very sorry, and would I like counselling. I thanked him for his courtesy and turned down the counselling, stating that I have two of the most beautiful children and I am everyday grateful for what I have. Once you've taken the IVF path - what everyone considers the be-all and end-all of fertility treatment - and they tell you "there is nothing more we can do for you", that is the ultimate kick in the pants. Although I DO know how lucky I am to have two fabulous, healthy, happy kids, at the time of that news I lost all perspective. I pulled away from my family for a few days, and from everyone, to lick my wounds. I cried, I took long baths, I didn't return any calls. I basically sooked. By about three days, I started searching online like no-one's business. I'm currently 38, not 'too old' yet, but 'advanced maternal age' as the fertility world calls it. I read just about everything I could get my hands on about fertility, supplements, herbs. I started (CD 3 after my failed IVF) taking 2,000mg Vitex per day, 1000mg AM and 1000mg PM. I started taking a liquid B complex with Vitamin C twice a day - felt good taking it, too, great energy (never got that from a capsule). I also took 100mg of liquid B6 per day. I thought what the hell - I've been written off by the medical profession. There's nothing else but to do my best on my own, despite my crappy AMH and my supposedly 'pre-menopausal' response to drugs. If it's going to happen it will, if not then it wasn't meant to.
We'll low and behold, my FIRST CYCLE after bring written off as a hopeless case, at 38 I have a NATURAL BFP! Who knows if it's sticky, I sure am praying so, but it gives me motivation that those doctors, with all their years of study and all of their experience, still don't know everything.
I'm hoping that those who feel a bit deflated might come across this and get a pick-me-up, because I truly now believe anything is possible.
Sticky dust to all x
