This sounds really bad

[9187]

I'm 20 weeks pregnant with my 2nd. It wasn't planned and I had a rough time with my 1st pregnancy with us both in intensive care for 2 weeks+ when I found out I was upset as things were just going right ( 1st time in a very long time). Ever since i can remember I've never wanted a boy, when family/friends have had boys I've never wanted to hold them, touch them, I don't think there cute tbh I don't want anything to do with them, this is totally the oppersite with girls. I found out yesterday I'm pregnant with a boy I was in tears while in the ultrasound room, since then I haven't called it anything, my hubby is trying to get me to think of names but I don't want to choose anything, I don't want to look at the scan photos, I don't think it's normal to feel like this, it's a complete turn around from my 1st pregnancy and people are telling me I'm being stupid but I don't know how to stop it or what to do and the worse thing is I'm not feeling guilty at all

 

[wtbmummy]

Im so sorry you are feeling like this hun
But I will say I feel your troubles, I too am struggling after finding out we are having a boy. I just always wanted a little girl who would have lovely long hair and be the best ever!!! Even DH wanted a girl and when the us tech said boy weboth just looked at eachother and went "oh"
I left feeling devestated, we had already picked out girl and boy names so name was already decided. I have people family n friends and even DH call baby by its name but I just can not bring myself too. To me its just "baby"
I still keep hoping they were wrong and that we will end up with a lovely little girl. Even though everyone has bought us boys clothes.
Tbh I have struggled with pregnancy on a whole and finding out boy put me over the edge. It might sound crazy but the only thing keeping me going is the hope that she got it wrong (us tech didnt sound so sure) and at my 34week scan they tell me girl.....
I do feel better with the pregnancy now and am coming to terms with it but my thoughts havent disapeared just gotten quieter I guess.
If you want to talk at all then feel free to pm me as I do really know how hard it is (and how much worse u feel when someone says your stupid or its normal)

 

[Misscalais]

Sorry you are feeling this way.
Makes me sad of all these little boys that so many mums ( including myself. ) are having GD over.
I have two boys, they are AMAZING. There's nothing wrong with boys at all and they are a bundle of love and joy. They are both mummas boys and very loving, caring little creatures.
I've never had a 'preference' so to say. But I did just want a boy and a girl and that's it. ( as far as our budget would stretch at the time ) so 1st came my 1st son, very happy healthy little boy. When I fell pregnant with my 2nd I thought 'yeah this will be our little girl and our family will be complete' while I thought I'd be ok with either gender when the tech said boy I had this awful feeling come over me. And I knew that yeah I really did just want a girl and was sad that baby wasnt a girl.
Anyway I got over it really quickly, bonded with him well throughout the pregnancy, smooth easy labour and he's just amazing. Can't believe I wanted anything else.
Now though we are pregnant again and I desperately want a girl. Will I be disappointed if I hear boy, yep not because baby could be a boy but because the dream of a girl would be smashed and that's it, all over.
I had a scan at 15 weeks and looks like bub probably is a boy and I've cried a lot over it. I feel so stupid and selfish for even having those thoughts but I can't physically help it. Baby is loved regardless of what's between it's legs because every baby deserves every ounce of love we can give them.
I truly hope you find some peace in your little boy who will love and cherish you unconditionally. It's just so hard to connect sometimes when you do t have bub right in front of you and you're just stuck with all these awful thoughts and emotions. I think for you though it sounds a bit deeper like pre natal depression is there a councillor you can speak with?
Big hugs.

 

[9187]

It's so hard my hubby said go shopping today and get things we need and I just said I'll do it later really don't want to buy anything I'm hoping it passes but when people are asking me questions I'm just changing the subject, I'm hoping it's just a phase and will pass

Hope u feel better about it soon

 

[9187]

My mom found out she was pregnant when I was 10yo and I told her then that if she had a boy I'd have nothing to do with it, ever since I've been a kid I said when I have children I don't want boys it's something that's always been inside me somewhere from a young age, went to see Dr yesterday and he said it's properly my hormones and it will settle, he didn't want to put me on anti depressants because if nobody mentions anything bout the baby I'm just continuing with day to day like I'm not upset or anything, if people start asking about scans or anything to do with baby I'm trying to change subject, get angry, upset, don't want to know ect
I wondering if to go see my midwife oris she just going to think I'm stupid

 

[mummy2o]

I know how you feel. I honestly do. 7 years ago I got pregnant and my gut feeling was a boy. So 20 weeks came and went for a scan, and I had to remain team yellow. I had a follow up scan at 22 weeks and I was still team yellow. I think it was good in a way as I know at that point I had known he was a boy I'd have had an abortion as I did not want a boy in any shape or form. I plan my mother in brainwashing me that boys were horrible and disgusting, but they aren't. So when I gave birth by an emergency c-section I felt what was like forever for someone to tell me what sex he was. When they told me he was a boy I just started crying, which was annoying for the surgeons trying to stitch me up, but heck I was upset, I thought my gut might be wrong, but nope. So after I got into recovery and properly recovered as I lost to much blood and went into whatever you go in when you loose to much I got to hold DS for the first time. Every single feeling of not wanting him went away and my mothering instinct kicked in. I will admit, I've not always been the best mother I could have been to him, but we have a great relationship now and he's a right mummy's boy. Thankfully he's not into football and we'd rather spend our time playing computer games together. If I want to go out, 9 times out of 10 he'll have to come as he hates staying with my partner.

So let me ask you this. Do you want to have an abortion or give your baby up for adoption? If the answer is no, then you love that baby and you'll get over the disappointment in time, so take the time to relax and don't think about it. Do things you enjoy for now. Also you never know, you may still get your girl in the future. I had to wait 7 years for mine, now I'm terrified as I have no idea what to do with her as I've been a tomboy all my life.

If I was you I'd tell your midwife, she's heard it hundreds of times so won't think your being stupid. They should just monitor you more closely if your getting depressed.

 

[Eleanor ace]

. I'm sorry you're feeling so low. I'd definitely talk to your midwife, it's not good to deal with it by just ignoring the situation, you need support. I hope that you feel better about your DS soon

 

[9187]

I've had alsorts going through my head just don't know what to listen to I've got appointment to see midwife on Monday

Thanks for all your advice

 

[jenniferttc1]

No matter how you feel now, you WILL feel different holding your son.
I never dreamed of having boys, never interested in having a son growing up and I def. didn't go crazy when seeing little baby boys....but it completely turned around once I had my son. Now I find myself not even paying attention to girls.....my son is the BEST thing that ever happened to me and I am not once bit upset this baby is another boy. I am blessed. They are so amazing. And I can't lie...I make pretty little boys. Sweet curly hair with the biggest dimples in his cheeks. I can't walk anywhere without being stopped atleast 5 times for people to love on his sweet face.

 

[Lara310809]

I'm sorry you feel this way I'm about to have my third daughter, and each time we hoped we would have a boy. The first time simply because I wanted my "one of each", but I wanted the boy to come first to be the eldest and protect his sister. When we were pregnant with our second she was our final baby, so we really wanted that boy. It didn't happen, and eventually we had one more try at having a boy, and what happened? Another girl By that point though I think we'd accepted we would only ever have girls, so the disappointment didn't affect us like it had with our second. Two years ago we already came to terms with never having the boy we had wanted.

All I can say for you is to give yourself time; as much time as it takes to feel better about the situation. You will come around and you will love your son just as much as you would have loved a daughter. You'll get there, but in the meantime be honest with your OH if you haven't been already; you'll need his support. Also ask the advice of the midwives, because they can help you too.