Throwing things and having meltdowns

[Pielette]

My LO seems to have started a phase of throwing and having a complete meltdown when he doesn't get his own way. This happens most often when I'm I'm the kitchen - he's round my feet constantly wanting to be picked up. I think it's that he wants to see what I'm doing, plus wanting a cuddle, plus wanting to grab things that he can't reach unless I pick him up.

Within reason I do give him cuddles but if he starts reaching for things I put him down, plus I can't pick him up all the time. He's not light and I'm in there for a reason, to get something done! Trouble is when this happens, if I put him down or I don't pick him up in the first place, he very quickly goes into meltdown. And he's started to throw things, whatever comes to hand. For example this morning he threw his milk cup and it bounced off my foot (ouch!).

I can't shut him out of the kitchen because we have an open plan kitchen and living room, so that's out. When he throws things I remove them, but I'm worried about this happening when we're at a playgroup and potentially hurting another child.

So I guess I have a couple of questions - how do you deal with the throwing thing, and do they grow out of it? Should I be doing something specific to deal with it? And how do I deal with the constant wanting to be picked up? At the moment I tend to ignore the screaming because he tends to get over it quickly, but I hate it and if there was a way to avoid it I'd love to hear it!

 

[Bumblebee117]

Just sending a hug,... My son is the same at the moment and I am trying to find a way to stop that behaviour. His twin sister is so easy compared to him and I wish he would go back to playing happily with her like he used to. Will be stalking this thread. Xx

 

[hattiehippo]

Can you put him somewhere so he can see what you're doing - in a high chair maybe? Though I know this wouldn't have worked with mine. He only ever wanted me to pick him up and show him what I was doing...watching from somewhere else wasn't good enough!

It's a really hard age to start having meltdowns because they're too little to reason with and while distraction can work I didn't find it very useful when Tom really wanted something he couldn't have...there was no distracting him even at 13 months. I did find talking lots to him and giving him warning of changes helped and also sticking to saying the same thing over and over to reassure him - so lots of 'mummy is busy, I will pick you up when I've finished' or 'it's time to go, 1,2,3 let's go'. Obviously he didn't understand it straight away but he learnt that sometimes he needed to wait and that I will do things when I can. It's a long slow process though!

And I really would try to avoid wasting energy wishing they were different. Tom has spent 2 yrs now having meltdowns and tantrums and its who he is. He's very emotional, stubborn, strong willed and determined which will be great when he's older. But for now it's hard work a lot of the time but I've grown to accept it!

 

[Bumblebee117]

Yeah one thing I have done for the twins in the kitchen is a cupboard with just plastic bowls and beakers in that they can empty so I will open that for them. Works every now and then but ds is just moody, he changed so much and so quickly over the past week, which like pps said will be great when older but ATM I have two kids same age and both want mummy so it is annoying that he is like that, hoping it is a phase and not lasting for years. X

 

[Pielette]

Thanks bumblebee, that must be very hard for you when you have two of them! I like the plastic bowls and beaker idea, I could give that a try.

Thanks for the ideas hattie. No you're right, for Noah a high chair would never work because he wants to be much closer to the action (although why watching washing up is so interesting I'm not sure ).

I guess I'll just have to keep being consistent and hope it starts paying off soon. He's such a sweet natured boy the majority of the time and it's usually me who sees this behaviour the most.

 

[hattiehippo]

Thanks bumblebee, that must be very hard for you when you have two of them! I like the plastic bowls and beaker idea, I could give that a try.

Thanks for the ideas hattie. No you're right, for Noah a high chair would never work because he wants to be much closer to the action (although why watching washing up is so interesting I'm not sure ).

I guess I'll just have to keep being consistent and hope it starts paying off soon. He's such a sweet natured boy the majority of the time and it's usually me who sees this behaviour the most.

Yep, mums get the worse of the behaviour...it's only me who gets hit and kicked when Tom's having a major strop...never daddy. But then I spend longer with him and push his behaviour more. Daddy lets him get away with lots!

Def worth trying the bowls and spoons, Tom did like that too. I used to give him dry pasta to play with too but just watch it doesn't all go in his mouth. You could also try a bit of water with bubbles as long as you don't mind it all over the floor.

 

[kaths101]

I sympathise, my LO is doing exactly the same, the throwing thing I hate. He threw a metal train at my mums head the other day and throws things at windows. I either tell him to go and pick it up and put it in his box nicely and I say NO but he still does it. He also hits when having a meltdown too. My lovely calm baby is turning into a terrible toddler. The meltdowns he just throws himself on the floor and smacks his head which is horrible as my kitchen and conservatory are stone so I have to try and pick him up and put him somewhere soft to have his meltdown and then walk away!

It's is hard isn't it. I feel like a terrible mother but nothing I say or do at the moment is making any difference.