Time limit for TTC?

[golcarlilly]

Has anyone set themselves a time limit for TTC?

I am 40 next year and OH (who is 31 on Friday) have decided that we are going to try untill my birthday next year and then if we have not got our we are going to quit, mainly because of my age (I really don't want to be a really old mum!) but also because of the stress and strain of it all.

We tried for 6 months before getting our in March and since my M/C we have been trying for 5 months and feel that if it hasn't happened by then maybe it is just not meant to be!

 

[aflight84]

I haven't really thought about time limits to be honest i just know i want it now! hehe
We weren't sure if now was the right time to ttc as i couldn't give up work but the only other option is to wait another 5 years until adam's career has kicked off and i've paid off for my past and as you say - i don't want to be an "old mum" i decided i'd rather try now and if we're lucky enough we'll just cope - everyone else seems to do it.
I really hope you get your soon!

x x

 

[Omi]

Hi Lilly,

im very much in your position, and i have a friend who's certainly smack dab in it. Im 38 and will be 40 in 16 months (not that im counting or anything, lol) DF is 35. We have been trying since last summer and got pg at xmas and i too mc, in feb.

I have been freaking out about this age thing for a while, but mainly because the waiting times for fertility treatment up here are quite long. Both my friends waited 2 years. The above mentioned friend mc on ivf in Jan and she turned 41 in May. Her DF is 34. They're going for a 3rd try on ivf next month. But she did say she's starting to think about what now..what if never etc. She's open to adoption her DF is not ready to talk about it.

We have not set a time limit. I think being an 'old' mum is something im resigned to as i dont have any other choice if i want a child. And i do- more than anything. And so does DF. So we will ttc until xmas on our own and then go and see doc again, as the doc suggested, in Jan. Come what may is our attitude and we're prepared to ride this one out- all the way!

Good luch, Lilly!!!

, Omi xxx

 

[golcarlilly]

thanks for your reply Omi, I already have a DD who will be 15 this month but my DH has no children and that is why I really do want one, I would hate for him never to be a daddy, the age thing really gets me down though, I was only 23 when I had my DD and I just feel so OLD now! I hate the thought of being 60 when my child is 20 and that is if I get pg now!! I know there are a lot of older parents out there though and that a lot of people do start their families later so that helps! OH and I have decided that we won't go down the IVF route if we can't conceive naturally but I think I would maybe take clomid or something - I don't really know anything about fertility drugs! We haven't discussed adoption but I have a friend who adopted and had loads of problems and it has put me off the idea really!

 

[tink]

Hi Lilly,i am 37(38 in dec)and oh is 44,we have been trying to conceive our 2nd together since jan this year.we have one dd who is 4 ,and i hav 3 kids form prev marriage,16,14 and 11.i never thought it would take us this long to conceive(9th cycle now),its never took more more than a couple of months!But i suppose age is against me nowi have had 3 chemical m/c in the last 9 months,and i did set a limit to christmas this year,because oh is sick of seeing me upsetbut i know when i reach that point i will probably want to carry on trying till i get my last baby,then i will be complete.if it doesnt happen naturally we do not intend invasive treatment,i am truly grateful for the children we already have.But you know what is like when you are broody!good luck on your ttc journey!hope its not too long til you get a sticky bean x
mandy

 

[Omi]

Hi Lilly,

i know what you mean about adoption. Me and oh have discussed this as well..and its not on the agenda.

Most of the people i know who have kids are actually older so i wont feel like a total weirdo. But what can you do. I will say this though. My mum has been with her husband for nearly 25 years. He's only 46 so you can see he was very young when they got together. She told me they often discussed this but in the end decided it wasnt for them...and i dont think he regrets it at all! As long as you have a loving family around you you dont feel like you're missing out. He may not get to be a dad but he certainly will be a grandad (i hope )

In any case... there's still hope and whatever you decide im sure it will be the right thing for you. Id also google fertility drugs and get some information..i did and it made me feel better. Its good to be informed!

Good luck, Hun!

 

[golcarlilly]

Just bumping up my question!

 

[Reedy]

I'm only 25 so still have a good 15 years of TTC yet x
But if it didnt happen my sister said she would have a baby for us

 

[Chris77]

I haven't really put a time limit on it, per se. I just always assumed that if it hasn't happened by the time I'm 40 (I'll be 31 in December) then I'd give up on trying to conceive. And if not pregnant within the next year (been trying now for 3 months), I'd like to do IVF (depending on what's wrong) Because if I really can't conceive at all no matter the method, I'd like to explore other options.

 

[honey08]

well im 28 in dec...after havin mc in mar08 me n gary knew this is something wot we both desperaltey want, ive been with ex and always thought i cudnt even get pg,but now i know i can (and will) i cant give up, but i think its how strong u r ,mentally,physically and so on, garys 46 and he got his 13yr old son, who hes had full custody of since he was 3,and ive brought him up for nearly 4yrs,but i know gary is extremley fit n healthy for his age,hes just had sperm results and they were fantastic, its me thats just had cd21 as docs think ive low estrogen! i just think its how strong and determined u r,but i also know after time it can just get far2much to give u a little hope a lady who gary wrks with didnt strat ttc#1 till she was 38 !! she had a mc, then after 16mth of charting (after mc) and opk etc,she had her little girl at 40,and shes fab,she looks so healthy,is always in the gym etc think u just must know ur sel when enough is enough,but when uv not had 1 child at all think a womans instincts(and fellas) just crave4 ur own i WILL get a soon im sure,and i hope u do aswelll

 

[Chris77]

Tracy, I forgot to add that I really hope you get your soon. I have my fingers crossed for you. It'll probably happen when you least expect it! That's kind of the approach I'm taking this month. Going to at least 3 times a week and see what happens. I don't want to know when I'm ovulating this month because I get WAY to obsessive and I concentrate on a thing! So, I'm hoping taking this approach is what I need. It always seems to happen when you're trying but not trying too hard, iykwim.

Best of luck to you hun.

 

[tillymum]

Hiya. Well i'm 36, will be 37 in March just going through m/c#2 since may and yes I am worried about age limits on ttc and wondering if thats part of the reason for my m/c's and stressing over running out of time. However as we are ttc#1 and I desperately want to be a mum, we'll keep trying till we get our little one, even if that means trying till i'm 44! I do worry about downs and other issues associated with being an older mum, but the way I look at it i'm young at heart so being an older mum to a little one doesn't bother me too much. There is still time left gocarlily don't give up!

 

[golcarlilly]

Thanks Tillymum, I am young at heart too, in fact I still feel like a teenager half the time I really need to get my cycles sorted out as I am still having problems since my m/c! I am going to see if I can get an appt at the docs this week as at this rate I will never conceive Have your cycles resumed to normal after yours?