TMI- uncircumcised and TTC

[gradschoolmum]

Wasn't quite sure how to title the post, but wanted to be sure to get a specific audience.
My husband and I are TTC, this is the first month. I've been over the moon about it, and so has he really. I came off AF and waited a day or two, little bit before ovulating but just to make sure he still feels wanted for more than his sperm set up a very sexy night, lingerie, candles- everything. He was super into it.... until we actually got down to doing the deed. We've always used condoms for birth control. He is uncircumcised and has never had unprotected sex- and he says it hurts him when the skin moves back. First night was just terrible sex, something that has not happened to that extent before. And then second day, he said he had a pit of dread in his stomach and couldn't keep it up. He's been weird since.

So several questions:
1- Anyone have any advise on how to get him comfortable having no good unprotected sex? I told him he needed to pull the skin back to stretch it before having sex again and he says it just feels awful. Obviously, I'm wanting us both to enjoy sex and not just do it to have a baby
2- now I'm dreading conception sex. He says he wants to try this month still but he can barely push in halfway. This may be a stupid question but can halfway to the cervix be enough?

I know we'll figure it out; this is just one area we've hardly had issues in and it just put a damper on baby making

 

[Cppeace]

Sorry, your having this issue. If it's something he's not used to, it just needs to be figured out which way is best to not cause pain. Since it's an issue where the skin is pulling back uncomfortably, maybe cut the bottom off a condom so that sperm has complete freedom but his skin has a little protection. Not a permanent solution but a maybe temp one. Also make sure you are very wet for less friction. Try presseed if need lubricant. Good luck.

 

[krissie328]

He should probably go see a doctor. It sounds like his foreskin might be too tight. My dh is also uncircumcised and we've never had a problem with it. But we've also always had unprotected sex so it was never protected by a condom.

 

[lilmisscaviar]

Preseed was my first thought too. It'll lube you both up so that he's not feeling as much friction. As to your question about if he only puts it in partway if you can still get pregnant... honestly anytime you have unprotected sex there is always a chance especially if he has far ejaculations... but it may take a bit longer. The vagina environment is hostile to sperm so the idea for conception is to get as close to the cervix as possible. Maybe have him slowly but not forcefully pull back the skin several times a day, aiming to get a little more back each time. Eventually it should become less painful and he should be able to pull it completely back. Good luck!

 

[Ele3085]

I was going to suggest using a condom with the bottom removed as well , preseed should help also : )

 

[Zephram]

My OH is uncircumcised (rare to be circumcised in NZ)and this has never been a problem (or with any of the other guys I've met along the way ). Does he pull his foreskin back to clean in the shower? If he can't do this then he may need to see a dr about it being too tight or some such. He definitely shouldn't be having pain during sex from this!

 

[Nita2806]

Gradschoolmom, I was going to suggest more lube (preseed should do the trick),my DH is also uncircumsized, and in his opinion having his foreskin makes sex more enjoyable for him (thats why he is still uncircumsized) however there has been times that he complains about his foreskin pushing back to far and that hurt him, that being said, I am on Clomid which dries up my CM. He never complains when there is enough lube, so I think that might be worth a shot. Or else, perhaps seeing a doctor. Hope this helps.

 

[gradschoolmum]

Well, end of weekend went much better. I told him we just needed more lube and get him used to his foreskin moving, and we were able to have successful good unprotected sex- he said it didn't hurt at all and I enjoyed it. Thanks for your help!

 

[xdxxtx]

Yes! I am so happy for you both! Good sex is important! I was going to suggest tons of lube and maybe even a dr appointment if it kept up. But if he hasn't had sex without a condom before, there's a good chance that his foreskin is VERY sensitive. I can imagine how painful it would be to finally have a whole bunch of nerves touched that have never been touched before, all at once... Just make sure for conception purposes you're using a conception-safe lube, like pre-seed. I've conceived using coconut oil, but I wouldn't advise it - ha! I would use the good stuff. Some lubes can kill or slow down the sperm, and you certainly don't want that.

 

[Gypsy99]

My OH is uncircumcised (rare to be circumcised in NZ)and this has never been a problem (or with any of the other guys I've met along the way ). Does he pull his foreskin back to clean in the shower? If he can't do this then he may need to see a dr about it being too tight or some such. He definitely shouldn't be having pain during sex from this!

Yep. I've never encountered a circumcised one here in NZ either! All of partners haven't had this problem before though. it shouldn't hurt unless not enough lubrication or maybe too tight like the others have said.

Sex should not be painful to the point of being scared of it!

Good luck

 

[gradschoolmum]

I think he was mostly getting into his head about it hurting. Ever since we were successfully able to have sex the other day, he has been very back to normal. He gets queasy at weird things, and I think this time it just happened to happen during sex.
I do have a conception friendly lube (someone asked that earlier), and that did help as we started...thanks!

 

[Cppeace]

glad to hear it's going well now.

 

[Nita2806]

I think he was mostly getting into his head about it hurting. Ever since we were successfully able to have sex the other day, he has been very back to normal. He gets queasy at weird things, and I think this time it just happened to happen during sex.
I do have a conception friendly lube (someone asked that earlier), and that did help as we started...thanks!

So glad to hear the lube worked out for you.

 

[beemeck]

I could have written your original post about me and my DH!

The first time DTD without a condom was so painful for him. It wasn't becoming easier in time either. Through some research as well as seeing a urologist, it was determined that he had really tight foreskin and was given some stretching exercises to do in the shower. He started with pulling the skin back gradually in the shower and eventually was able to do these stretches every time he urinated also. in about a month or so it totally did the trick and the difference it made was amazing! He now LOVES it lol lube also helps but it sounds like he will have to do a little more work like my DH did - good luck!!