To change the name we picked or not?

Discussion in 'Pregnancy - Second Trimester' started by adzuki, Apr 15, 2009.

?

What to do when a friend names her new baby the same as "your" name?

  1. I would change the name we picked.

  2. I would not change the name that we've picked.

Multiple votes are allowed.
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  1. adzuki

    adzuki Mom to Miss M.

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    We haven't been telling anyone the name that we picked (what if she doesn't suit it when she comes out?) for our little girl. My friend just had a baby on the weekend and it is a little girl too - and guess what - she named her little girl the exact name we were planning on naming our daughter :cry:

    Part of me says to keep our name as planned, and the other part of me says to change it.

    What do you think? What would you do?

    :)
    A
     
  2. MummyBurgo

    MummyBurgo I love my boys x

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    Awww :hugs: I would probs pick a different name,we have to names ready for our baby incase hubbys cousin who is due any has a boy and names him one of our names.


    x
     
  3. louise1988

    louise1988 Well-Known Member

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    my opionion is to change it x
     
  4. PrincessSoph

    PrincessSoph Well-Known Member

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    i would change it hun
     
  5. Ilove

    Ilove Guest

    Id keep it if the baby ended up suiting it. Friendships dont always last forever, in a few years you may regret not naming that her just because of you friend back then...But even if you 2 remain riends forever, you can always work around it by using a nickname for one...she should understand. It isnt just about childhood, obviously shell be an adult one day and needs the right name despite what anyone else is doing
     
  6. cs22

    cs22 Mum and ttc# 2

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    You could maybe compromise. The name youve picked for youre baby you could use as a middle name and pick a different first name.
     
  7. Vici

    Vici Mum to a LTTC princess!!

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    I think i'd change it too, this is why I make sure every one knows the names we've picked :D
     
  8. Rachel_C

    Rachel_C Well-Known Member

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    Ooh I'm not sure about that. If it was me, I'd like to think that I'd stick with the name I'd chosen, but I'd probably get all bad tempered about it and change it really! That's just me though.

    How close friends are you? Will your children be growing up together? When I was born my mum had a friend who called her baby the same name as me. Then my little sister came along and mum's friend picked the same name for her baby again! Luckily, my mum had twin girls after that and her friend had a boy so it didn't continue. Mum never seemed to mind but I don't think they were that close friends (I think they just went to the same antenatal classes and knew each other through work) and I didn't actually meet her kids until I was about 10. Maybe it would have been different if they'd been close friends.

    People can get really possessive over baby names, but it's possible that you actually picked the name out first, it's just that nobody knew about it! If you really love the name, there's no real reason you shouldn't stick with it. Like others have said, you could use a nickname for one of the children (they'll probably have them anyway).
     
  9. MishC

    MishC Has a little princess!!

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    I'd change it.
     
  10. lucilou

    lucilou Cooking again!

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    that is a tricky one - I think I would probably change it. I wouldn't want anyone thinking I have stolen the idea, even if I knew I'd thought of it first. Good idea to use it as a middle name instead, then if you have drifted from your friend by the time your little one starts school, you can always use the middle name as their main name - I know loads of people who are known primarily by their middle name either because they or their parents ended up preferring it.

    We are deliberately not deciding on a name until much nearer the time, or even the day itself! We're just going to have a blue and a pink shortlist then just go with what we feel like.

    If you didn't tell anyone your chosen name, at least you know she didn't do it on purpose!
     
  11. djgirl1976

    djgirl1976 Expecting our 1st

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    ITA...I wouldn't want to use the same name, but if you are good friends, tell her that was what you chose and mention that you might use it as a middle name, now. She might think that is great, and you might get a chance to feel good about that name being used, and still picking a new one all your own!
     
  12. pkbaby

    pkbaby 1st trimester

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    Does the name by any chance begin with m and end in a, and mean truth.

    It was a name I liked a lot too. And a few years back it was the name I would have used to name a girl.

    I say, unless this is a friend that you see all the time, keep the name.

    But, stay open to another name should it come to you.
     
  13. cleckner04

    cleckner04 Well-Known Member

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    I guess I have a different opinion on this. If it is a name you truly love and feel that it suits your daughter, than use it. Names aren't copyrighted. I think it would be a bit immature if I were to get upset over a friend giving their child the same name as I gave mine. What kind of friend would I be than? It should be seen as a compliment that you have the same tastes and like the name so much! :hugs: Most women are very touchy about the subject of baby names though so I completely understand your dilemma. Perhaps you can sit down and have a chat with your friend and see what her feelings are on the subject? Maybe you are making a mountain out of a mole hill so to speak?! Good luck with it!
     
  14. tasha41

    tasha41 Mum & Dad + 1

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    I'd change it if I were in that situation.

    But I never made up my mind until she was born really lol I was leaning towards one name but had others in mind that I really liked!
     
  15. Caramel

    Caramel Mummy to a cheeky monkey

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    It really depends on how you feel about the name now that your friend is using it. If it no longer has the same feeling for you then change it, but I suspect since you're asking this in the first place you probably still dearly love the name so absolutely keep it! Think on it this way, say you meet someone in the next couple of years who becomes a very close and dear friend, practically family, and that that person has a child the same age as yours who happens to have the same name, would it really matter then that they're both called John/David/Peter/Louise/Hannah/Emma? Of course not, it's just one of those things. And if your friends are a bit put out then tough, unless they invented the name it's not their's to trademark so you've every right to use it. Friends of ours had their baby a couple of weeks ago, and used our name as her middle name. I didn't find this out until we asked them if she had a middle name, and they both looked so guilty. They said they were relieved we've found out we're having a boy as they felt bad for pinching our name (they didn't think of that name until we'd mentioned it to them)! I mean for god's sake I didn't personally create the name, it's Nicole, been used for centuries by many other people! I just felt like giving them a huge hug to reassure them, I thought it was great that they like the name so much that they wanted it too, and it does sound so beautiful with her first name. As it is I don't see a problem if we had had a girl as we'd still have used the name, even if they'd used it as their daughter's first name too. Why should anyone deny themselves a name for a child that they really love? xxxxx
     
  16. bjl1981

    bjl1981 Well-Known Member

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    It depends how close you are, if you're very close I'd change it, if youre casual friends keep it. Just remember you're going to be calling you LO this for the next goodness knows how many years, will you still be in contact with your friend then?!!!And more importantly, does it really matter if they're the same name?
     
  17. rubywoo77

    rubywoo77 Mum of 2

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    I'd change it, but that's just me I guess it depends how much you've got your heart set on that particular name and also how close you are as friends If she named her child without knowing what you had chosen you can't really begrudge her (although I would still be a bit peeved at the sod's law element of the situation)
     
  18. TheNewWife

    TheNewWife In love with my girls

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    I'm conflicted on this one. My husband couldn't care less if someone else has the name - he would still use it. I might, it would depend on who the friend was and how close we were.

    Sorry, I'm not much help.
     
  19. badunkadunk13

    badunkadunk13 Baby #2 on the way!!

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    If you're really close friends with this person, I'd sit down and talk to her. Let her know that you guys had chosen the same name even though you hadn't told her...see what she thinks. She might be like, "Sweet, that's so neat! Our kids will be named the same!" Of course, she might be like, "Oh well, maybe you should change the name." I'd let her know that it's still your decision on what you're going to name your child, but you are considering changing the name you've chosen because she happened to name hers the same thing. This way, she knows that you care about her feelings, but is also for-warned in case you do decide to keep the name you'd previously chosen.

    If you're not very good friends, I'd say screw it and keep the name!!
     
  20. Tsia

    Tsia My MyloMan - he turned 1!

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    yer I would change it. I wouldnt want my friend thinking I was copying her. And if hers is born first and shes picked it.. fair game.. just pick something EVEN BETTER! lol
     

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