To Those MIL Interference Stories : Thank You!

[MaybeMomSarah]

I actually posted this as a reply to another thread, but I thought it may get seen a bit better on its own - since I am genuinely thankful!

I am quite greatful for all of the threads I'm reading about unwanted MILs trying to wrangle their way into the delivery room / hospital. It's made me have a pretty straight forward conversation with my OH.

I've made it perfectly clear to my OH that the only people I want in the delivery room with me are her, and my own mother (mom and dad are flying from the USA to be here for me); and that I don't want to have any visitors at all other than a quick hello from her immediate family several hours after LO has been born. No friends until we leave the hospital (unless we are there for an extended period of time - like a week plus), and no family members coming by every single day or staying more than a few minutes.

I plan on breast feeding, and I know it's going to take some getting used to. Having folks around when I'm getting the boob out with a newborn is not something I really want. That, and I can't really stand my ILs (read this thread to get an idea of one of the many reasons why), so having them around will just stress me out, which I know can affect successful BFing. I'm also worried about holding my tongue when I am in pain/stressed/overtired and I may say things that my OH would rather me keep to myself.

And the great thing is, OH is completely understanding after I fully explained the reasons behind my decision, and that it wasn't just based on my overall dislike for the ILs.

 

[Ice Cold Cube]

It sounds like you've got everything sorted, and can relax now knowing that your wishes will be resepcted - that's great

Laura x

 

[MaybeMomSarah]

I just hope other ladies sit down and have this frank discussion with their OHs - they may be more receptive than you think they will!

 

[Bingo]

I'm glad you've managed to sort things out with your wife. As for her parents and their homophobic views, fuck 'em. Keep them at arm’s length if that is what is best for you. It's hard to forgive when there has been no apology or explanation. Good luck with the birth of your little guy.

 

[happigail]

I'm so the opposite from most folks on here! Bring on the family and friends I say!! I told them all they better be waiting outside when I deliver LMAO! I wanna show her off, also I will wop out a boobie to feed without shame tbh, I think people will understand to not stay long. But thats just individual to me of course! Good for you being frank in what you need x

 

[QueSeraSera]

i think i need to have a discussion like this with my DH! our problem isnt so much with the birth itself, as we live so far away from our families that nobody is going to be out here for the actual birth. but my MIL is moving out here about a month after our LO is born. its not just some coincidence...shes actually moving out here to be closer. her and i have had some major problems in the past, but have just recently gotten on speaking terms again. i keep hinting to DH thati dont want her stopping by the house every night or dropping in unannounced all the time, and he says that he agrees. but i know that when shes out here she is going to be bored (she doesnt have anything else to do and the only reason she is coming is to be close to us, of course she is going to want to be around ALL THE TIME), its going to happen, and hes not going to be able to tell her no :-/ i havent wanted to have a "frank conversation" with him, but maybe youre right and it needs to happen. i am nervous it will cause a fight, but hopefully it will surprise me, like you said in your post.

sorry for the off topic, but thanks for the post! its definitely gotten me thinking about my own situation. im glad that you and your OH have gotten a set of ground rules and the the discussion went well!

 

[Cookie1979]

Im lucky, my MIL wouldnt expect to come into the delivery room, infact she never interferes and is a lovely woman!

Best you get across how you feel early on, this is your labour and you dont want someone in there who is going to make it difficult.

For my labour its just going to be me and my husband, just doesnt seem right to have anyone else in there.