To wait or not to wait that is the question?

Discussion in 'Miscarriage Support' started by anteater, Aug 21, 2009.

  1. anteater

    anteater Well-Known Member

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    I miscarried my first pregnancy on Tuesday at 11 weeks (devastated:cry:)

    I miss my wee one so much and hate that I am starting to feel not pregnant again.

    Should we wait until after my next period to start trying again? I am 35. The doctor at the hospital said they only advise you to wait because it makes dating the next pregnancy easier.

    I don't really want to wait, especially considering my age and not knowing how long it may take to conceive (please God, let me conceive again). My biggest fear is that not waiting could make it more likely that I would miscarry again because the uterus isn't ready.

    Any advice or experiences shared would be really appreciated.
     
  2. Pregnant15 xx

    Pregnant15 xx Pregnant 1st trimester xx

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    well i heard that soon after uve been pregnant ur most fertile i dnt no bcz iv never been thru but im jus sayin but go wiv instints an heart an jus enjoy urself dnt stress urslef out that worse thing u cn du good luck and im here if u need a chat xx
     
  3. Liz2

    Liz2 Well-Known Member

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    I am sorry to hear about your loss:hugs: I miscarried at 13 weeks in Oct. 07. My doc said that I should wait at least 2 months to make sure dates could be tracked correctly but suggested that I wait 6 months in order to let my body fully recover. And give myself the best chance of having a healthy pregnancy. He also said that I needed to recover mentally before I started trying. I need to mourn the loss first and not try to fill the empty space with another baby. It was hard waiting because we wanted another so badly but looking back I am really glad that I did. I got pregnant the 7 month.

    Again, I am so sorry that you are going through this. I know how heart breaking it is. Whatever you decide to do, I wish you the best of luck :)
     
  4. AlwaysPraying

    AlwaysPraying Mom of two!

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    My doctor said almost exactly the same thing as Liz's. It's hard and emotional and feeling like time isn't on your side compounds everything. For me, one cycle seems reasonable, and take it from there. That's just me though.
     
  5. trying4#1

    trying4#1 Well-Known Member

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    anteater - dont wait! you dont have to. like dr said, it just helps with dating a pg. i would get started straightaway. although people may say that you are fertile straightaway, this may not be the case, so do not worry if you do not fall pg this month. but, i would defo not stop trying for this month, as soon as the bleeding stops. i didnt fall pg for 2 months after i gave birth. i believe i did not ovulate or the fact i was still grieving put my body under stress. start as soon as possible and that way you havent missed out. i wish you the best of luck x
     
  6. EHM

    EHM Guest

    Hi sorry sorry for your loss, I know how your feeling a mc exactly 2 wks ago today, i was not as far on as you, I was told to wait 1 cycle but I couldn't, I just had this feeling that I needed to try and if it doesn't work this time then at least I tried, my oh is a bit worried cos he doesn't want me to go through anything like this again. I think it all depends on the person and how they feel mentally. Sending you lots of :hugs:
     
  7. faylou

    faylou BFP after mmc & chemical

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    Hi there, I saw my GP when I thought I was starting to miscarry. I had this confirmed about two weeks later, although I havn't actually naturally miscarried yet, but its coming, I have a blighted ovum. My GP advised us to start again as soon as we felt able, he said there was no need to wait. My body will fall pregnant again when its ready was his attitude. He did say his attitude was very 'male' and apologised for that, but ultimately you want a baby so the only way to achieve this is to get back in the saddle. In a strange way, I kind of liked his positive attitude!
     
  8. Widger

    Widger Mummy at last

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    Sorry for your loss. EVeryone is different. Start whenever you feel ready. The only thing I would get you to consider is actually waiting until you get a negative pregnancy test as I didn't get one for 3 weeks after my D&C and I know some people have had a positive hpt the following month for it only to be leftover hcg from mc and not a new pregnancy.

    Good luck with your decision xx
     
  9. vicky9207

    vicky9207 Well-Known Member

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    I Dont Know What To Say Bout When To Start Trying But I Didnt Want To Read A Run.

    I Just Wanted To Say That Im Sorry About Your Loss And I Wish You All The Best When Trying Again
     
  10. beachlover1

    beachlover1 Pregnant and mummy of one

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    Im really sorry to hear that you MCd. I have been wondering how you got on after last week. I had a D&C on Weds at 10 weeks. They told me to wait a few months to try again. Emotionally im fine now, I have to move on. Im 34 and want to get trying again ASAP. I dont think we will wait too long to try again, I need to wait til at least 2 weeks after a D&C to even think about protected sex. I bought a load of those dip stick type pregnancy tests off ebay, I am testing every 3 days to see when I get my BFN. Dont forget there will be HCG hanging around for a while in your body. You wont Ovulate until it has gone. I dont think there is anything to stop you trying if you are emotionally ready! Good luck and be strong!!!
     
  11. todteach

    todteach Dreams can come true

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    So sorry hun xox. I would like to second what Widger has told you. After my first miscarriage, I had products leftover and had an infection due to the d&c. Had I become pregnant again right away I wouldn't have known if this was from the new or previous pregnancy. So, my suggestion would be to wait until your bhcg levels have dropped. My doctor tracked this down with blood tests, but you could take a pregnancy test to determine this as well. Wishing you all the best. Take care.
     
  12. anteater

    anteater Well-Known Member

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    Thank you all for your replies, they have really helped me feel more positive.

    I am going to the hospital on Wednesday for a scan to check everything has come away OK so I will talk to the doctor then about there being any physical reason why we can't try straight away.

    It didn't really occur to me about waiting for a BFN (the irony) so thank you to those who mentioned that. I'm sure they said they were going to do a pregnancy test when I go for the scan on Wed.

    The bleeding has really decreased today and I haven't wept once (I almost feel guilty about that), so the hormones must be settling down a bit.
     
  13. Amos2009

    Amos2009 Well-Known Member

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    Don't mean to hijack your thread, just a quick question since this was brought up here. So if I have a negative pregnancy test, that means I should start ovulating and I could possibly get pregnant again right? Even before AF arrives?
     
  14. beachlover1

    beachlover1 Pregnant and mummy of one

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    Apparently so, once the BFN appears it means HCG has gone...this means LH can increase causing ovulation to occur....then AF will occur...if you dont get pregnant. There is nothing to say though, that the first few cycles after a MC, we will ovulate. Get that BFN FIRST and then get some ovulation sticks. Until you get a BFN the sticks will be confused and say you are ovulating even when your not.
     
  15. Amos2009

    Amos2009 Well-Known Member

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    Good...then I am all ready to go. Got my BFN around a week and a half ago. Actually a few days before I travelled to see my DH! It's ON now!!!
     
  16. JJF

    JJF Finished at 3

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    sorry about your loss-it is heartbreaking! I've had 3 MC's (but also have 3 healthy babies :) ) I tried immediatly to get pregnant after my 2nd and 3rd MC's and on the 2nd one, I fell prego without having a period. i will tell you that I had a bleed at 9 weeks, turned out it was outside of the uterus so unrelated to prego so COULD have been cause I never had period-or could have been unrelated to everything-who really knows. I tried immediatly after my 3rd MC and wasn't as lucky that time, but did get prego after 3 periods, so not too long.
    All the advice you were given from doc and other people sounds reasonable, go with your gut and good luck to you!
     

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