too anxious to enjoy

Discussion in 'Pregnancy - First Trimester' started by Jetters, Dec 21, 2009.

  1. Jetters

    Jetters Well-Known Member

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  2. sunshine114

    sunshine114 Well-Known Member

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    I know how you feel, I went through a phase like this, and it was just a phase. I was convinced when we were TTC that we would not be able to, then when I got my BFP that something would go wrong. It has taken me a while, but I have come to the conclusion that as long as I am doing everything I can to keep baby healthy, it is all out of my hands anyway. I have also found that it is better for me not to read the sad posts on here - I know there are a lot of people needing support but for me and the baby it is better for me to almost shut off from it.
    It is really hard, I found it incredibly hard, but I am finally starting to think positively, which is apparently better for the baby. Someone posted some stats on here a while ago about the risks, and they were quite reassuring to me, something like once you are past 6 weeks the chance of a healthy pregnancy is 90%. That is pretty high!
    Hope you feel a bit better soon x
     
  3. Lindyloo

    Lindyloo mummy to 2 + twin angels

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    Hi I can so understand how you feel. I havent had any symptoms yet really apart from tiredness but with my other pregnancies had everything and big time... No matter what anyone else says there is always that niggle eating away at you. I hope that when you reach 12 weeks and see you little bean and have some pictures to take home you will feel more postive.

    take care x
     
  4. _Hope_

    _Hope_ Mum of Twins Noah & Heidi

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    I'm so sorry you are feeling like this and I totally understand where you are coming from. I spend every minute of every day worrying about my beans. This weekend I have had a show of dark brown blood and cramping, I was convinced I was losing my beans. Was absolutely hysterical, went to A&E (who sent me home and just told me to rest) finally got a scan today and thankfully all is well. Saw 2 little heartbeats and my beans safely tucked away where they should be. BUT i'm still scared to death.

    Like you I really want to relax and enjoy my pregnancy, god knows I have waited long enough. So i'm going to try and be less anxious and less stressed, in the end it can only help the little ones.

    Of course you deserve a healthy baby, you obviously had good reasons for doing what you did in the past and you shouldn't feel guilty in anyway. Maybe once you have seen your little one (or ones lol!) on a scan you will relax a little. For the time being, if you need someone to talk to, i'm here. Just PM me xxx
     
  5. loopylou86

    loopylou86 Well-Known Member

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    Lindyloo, how d you get that picture on your signature on every post you do? x
     
  6. bbyno1

    bbyno1 Well-Known Member

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    i feel exactly the same way :( its my 1st pregnancy so im not entirely sure what to expect so any lil unusual feelin or pain im worrying and because i have had very bad mornining sickness up untill 3 days ago its very worrying because my symtoms kinda seen to have gone :( buy stay positive w)hatever is meant to be will be but im sure everything is going to be just fine just hold your head up for the next couple of weeks :) x
     
  7. littlegoth666

    littlegoth666 Well-Known Member

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    you dont sound stupid bt all dont put your sellf down i know it can be scairy if you want to talk im here
     
  8. Jetters

    Jetters Well-Known Member

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  9. firsttimemumm

    firsttimemumm Expecting number 2 AND 3!

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    Hi, Jetters,

    I felt exactly the same as you. The first 12 weeks are such a long wait and we all worry too much! As long as you are doing everything that you can to keep yourself and baby healthy you know you can't do any more! It doesn't sound silly....just shows you are going to be a fabulous mummy!!!! If you ever want to chat, PM me (click on person's name and the send personal message comes up in a tab over their Avator).

    Take care and I know it is easier said than done, but try not to worry!

    :hugs::hugs:
     
  10. Mrs G

    Mrs G Lily and Tommy's mummy

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    Hi. It is totally normal to feel this way. This is something that Meg33 said in one of my threads a while back and it's stuck with me.

    "We told everyone already... because "Ninja Baby" deserves to be celebrated, regardless of the outcome.

    I've decided that fear is no way to live. I'm going to enjoy this for every single moment I can. I hope that's 9 months worth of moments, but if something were to happen... at least I'd know I thoroughly enjoyed the time I had."

    It is really hard to be positive early one but I I'm now determined to enjoy this pregnancy and to let babyg know exactly how much he is wanted and loved and keep everything crossed we get to 40 wks.

    Good luck xx
     
  11. vermeil

    vermeil Mom to 27 week wonder+DD

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    oh I know just how you feel jetters, I feel the same way, and I know many others do. I had actually started going to a fertility clinic since I'm 37 and it was taking over 6 months. Actually looked forward to the dreaded AF for once since it's in the first 5 days or so that many of the specialized tests are done. When it didn't arrive I grumbled and complained and stressed and worried - until my dear hubby (bless him) just shrugged and said casually 'perhaps you're pregnant'. That hit me like a ton of bricks. tested the next day - yep he was right :haha: so that mountain of stress over being perhaps infertile was instantly replaced with another mountain of worry over how to move, what to eat, what to think practically :wacko:

    it gets better apparently! Hang in there! :)
     
  12. Jetters

    Jetters Well-Known Member

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  13. khegidio

    khegidio Well-Known Member

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    Ladies - I have really struggled with this myself. A few weeks ago I was absolutely consumed about finding out as much as I could about the chances of miscarriage - desperately trying to find some statistics out there that made me feel better. I was miserable and sick with worry. I finally realized it was rediculous and that whether I worried or tried to enjoy myself the results were going tobe the same. Either I was going to have a healthy pregnancy or not. Being happy with what i have is healthier for me and baby.

    When you read online all you see are stories of miscarriages and it is really very sad and traumatizing to read. You'll be sick with worry. But think about all the positive stories that women are not posting. It's just a matter of fact that tendency is to write about and share the negative things more so than the positive. That's why the stories/blogs out there seem to illustrate that miscarriage happens to so many.

    Try to stay focused and positive on the good. The odds are really in our favor. ENJOY!!!!

    :cloud9:
     
  14. Ziggy2

    Ziggy2 Well-Known Member

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    this is completely normal to feel like this, I know I did, you will feel better after the scan. Try and relax, I know it's easier said than done.
     
  15. Jetters

    Jetters Well-Known Member

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  16. khegidio

    khegidio Well-Known Member

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    Yes this site has helped me too. And somedays I choose to not enter or read the forums that I know are related to loss - not that I don't want to be there and support my fellow mothers that have experienced these sad events - but more so for my own frame of mind right now.

    Looking forward to my first appointment so I can see the HB and take a huge sigh of relief :)
     
  17. britgirl82

    britgirl82 Well-Known Member

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    I'm with you and reading all these posts have really helped. I too spent hours looking for miscarriage stats and reading signs into everything my body was doing. I had an early scan last week and everything was perfect, but immediately after I was still looking at stats for "miscarriage after seeing a strong heartbeat"…

    There have been times when I even wished I wasn't pregnant just so I didn't feel so scared the whole time…

    But I too have realised that all I can do is continue to have faith, to be grateful for every extra day that goes by with nothing bad happening, to remind myself that you hear so so many more bad stories than good and that the odds are OVERWHELMINGLY in my favour for things to go well. If I had a 90% chance of winning the lottery, I'd play, and it's the same.

    And equally importantly, I've tried to stop googling things, to stop reading the sad/scary stories (I'm so sorry for the posters of them, but they were just making me crazy with worry) and just to go with it. The internet is a blessing in many ways, but it's also a curse. I've now found two good, reliable pregnancy websites, written by experts, and go to them for information about things, rather than turning to weird, potentially erroneous websites (of which there are loads). Over-obsessing about it is bad and I've had to be really strict with myself (I've got quite an obsessive personality like that!) but it's made me feel a lot more positive.

    I've set myself little goals too - every evening I thank God for getting me and bean through another day, and ask Him to keep us safe for just one more. I'm not thinking about being safe until July, just until this evening, and then tomorrow evening, and so on.

    Hope this helps - you're being totally normal, but you maybe need to find some coping mechanisms, otherwise you'll drive yourself crazy.

    xx
     
  18. khegidio

    khegidio Well-Known Member

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    Do you mind sharing your websites?
     
  19. britgirl82

    britgirl82 Well-Known Member

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  20. Seasidebaby

    Seasidebaby Well-Known Member

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    Hi ladies I am so glad I've just found this thread! This is exactly what I am feeling right now, it only came on yesterday when I hit 5 weeks but I am so worried and scared that Im not pregnant anymore... I know it sounds completely irrational! Every symptom I have (twinges, painful boobies, tiredness, constipation then the runs etc) I'm worried that somethings wrong and then when I don't have the symptoms I'm worrying even more that it could have "gone away"!
    I think it's because were getting closet to telling the family (were telling them on boxing day) and because I'm getting more and more used to the idea of being preggers that i don't want it to be taken away from us.

    It's horrible! I've been trying to relax today and also trying not to look up things about miscarrage. I don't have any advice for you ladies but just wanted to let you know you're not alone in feeling this!
    Xxx
     

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