Too many gifts!

[belle254]

Don't know if this is the right place to post but I thought mums/dads in the natural parenting section might get it a bit more!
I've got two children, nearly 4 and nearly 5, their birthdays are days apart so we've pretty much always done a joint party etc. We are a steiner family and try and stick to natural resources and toys when we can and prefer going on days out to being inside. My family are ok and try hard to get the kids books, some clothes or practical things if they get anything at all, which is much appreciated as we have a tiny house. The children's dads family, however, never listen to what I ask of them regarding gifts, and that's where my problem is. Their dad feels the same way as me, but he won't lift his head up and say anything to his family as he thinks it's futile, as he's tried before.
The children literally get hundreds of presents at birthdays and Christmas, because their dads family is so over generous, and not just their family, their family's friends too!
Ive tried suggesting paying for days out, into their savings accounts or small practical things but they don't take a blind bit of notice.
It's got to the point now where were moving house in a month so I've been furiously decluttering and only keeping toys the kids play with- blocks, kitchen, crafts, books, animals, and have been told that their auntie has bought them all this plastic shit which I have literally just got rid of.
I feel like I can't ever treat them as I want them to grow up knowing a toys worth, and they get so bloody much at birthdays and Christmas my small gifts are constantly overshadowed. I feel like it's not in my control at all. Last Christmas their grandfather bought them a cheap toy plastic garage that had tons of intricate tiny bits that weren't appropriate for a 3 year old who still mouths everything, and a plastic bloody sword. Literally had pretend blood on it.
If you guys were on this position, how would you address it?
Would you ignore it and be grateful and then just donate things you don't agree with (bear in mind the kids will have seen them already)
Or start being strict and say you're putting your foot down, the house is just too small for unwanted gifts and to run anything by me before you give it to them. Anything that isn't and is cheap plasticy toys that break instantly or is a replica of toys they've had will be donated.

 

[.Mrs.B.]

Write a gift list, have it to hand 2 months in advance and ask people to stick to the gift list.
We have this problem, my husbands family have bought us a 5 story garage, a trampoline, a rocking horse, a ride on motorised quad bike, 2 dolls buggys, a playring, bundles of talking teddies and the list goes on...

 

[belle254]

Thanks, I have made an Amazon wish list but only one member of the family has asked about it so far. I have briefly spoken to two of the main culprits already and they have said they have already bought birthday gifts for the kids. 2 months before their actual birthday. Sigh.

 

[crownest]

Thanks, I have made an Amazon wish list but only one member of the family has asked about it so far. I have briefly spoken to two of the main culprits already and they have said they have already bought birthday gifts for the kids. 2 months before their actual

They can return the gifts if you think they aren't suitable I think you need to put your foot down at some stage or they will always say they have already bought them. My DS is only 18 months but I have told out family I don't want tons of gifts. I have said they can buy all the books they want and I tell them we want for birthdays Xmas etc or money for savings ac. I also get them to keep some toys in their house so he can play with them there and not cluttering my house .

 

[_Mouse_]

i don't know if this would help but for my sons Birthday we send out invitations that say in lieu of gift we are take donations for the local food bank or pet shelter. Still one or two people who will bring a gift. It works great.

He still gets 1 or 2 gifts from us after the party thou.

 

[MindUtopia]

I would continue to be quite firm with them, but I would also make a plan to donate a considerable portion of them and I would tell them you plan to do that. That alone may put a stop to it, but if not, make sure they tell you what things are when they give them and then you make a decision before they are shown to your children what they keep and what will get put away to be donated. That way, your children still feel like they get a few nice gifts, but it puts an end to the clutter and ridiculousness. I feel very much the same and dread any sort of birthday, holiday, etc. for this reason. It's so much useless junk. We have been good at steering family towards contributing for one big item (that we choose and buy) or money towards her saving account, but still, it's all a bit much sometimes.