Too Much Drama!!!

[mz_jackie86]

Well life is shitty at the best of times but now its just grating my nerves!!
I have to get this out cos its drivin me insane!

Well i was with my bf (jason) on and off for 2 years and we officially broke up in June which is when i thought i fell pregnant! When we broke up i didnt see him until my birthday which was in August but i slept with my ex in July no protection but i was on the pill. ( i am forgetful with it though).

So i found out i was pregnant when i was 8 weeks which dated back to the 8the july, now i thought that 2 weeks b4 the pregnancy is when the egg comes down the tube and then conception starts, but i looked up online and the first 2 weeks ur not actually pregnant so my conception date was the 23rd July and i slept with my ex on the 20th so it turns out that he is the dad, he has to be i wasnt with anyone else!

When i first fell pregnant i told jason and he was such an arse to me then he was nice then an arse then nice basically he would chop and change all the damn time and he insuted me so much it was awful! Then i told him the dates dnt add up right which he actually took quit well but then said he dnt want the kid anyways!
We were arguin a lot anyway and i told him i hoped he wasnt the dad cos he int a nice person has no manners and no respect for anyone.

So i had ma scan on Friday and spoke to the nurse and she confirmed what i saw online so i had to tell them the news! My ex new i was pregnant but obviously had no idea it was his!

So rang jason and told him at first was ok then started makin digs at me and then sendin me txes.He said after what i put him thru he can text me when he wants, This really pissed me off as over 2 years he put me thru so much crap and since he found out i pregnant he has caused me so much hurt an stress that he has no right to text me or contact me so i told him to piss off!

Then i had to tell my ex OMG i was sooo scared co we had a bit of a rocky time when we were together but we have always bin intouch since we broke up 3 years ago! So we sat down and i told him and wel he laughed at first cos he didnt believe me but in the end he said he will try be there as much a he can regardless of our rocky past...which of course at that point i burst out cryin cos his reaction was so much better than jasons was from the start!
I told him i didnt want anythin from him i didnt want us back together or anythin like that he just had a right to know, even if he didnt wanna be involved that his choice im not puhing anythin on to him.
He wouldnt look at the scan picture though! he said it was too much at that point! So when i left i put it on the side...i still dont know if he has seen it!
He had also had a few pints that night so i dunno if thats what made him so nice although he said he was absolutely level headed!

Anyways yesterday i msged him sayin if u need to talk im here and he sed i dunno it might not be mine, i said i wouldnt of told u if i wasnt sure!I said if he waants i wont bother him till baby born and he can get a test to prove its his!
He said he doesnt want to be involved, i asked ever and he said i dont know just give me time!

Well now im constantly welling up thinkin what kind of person am i to be in this situation i never wanted this and i never wanted to hurt anyone i just wanted to be honest!
I dunno what to do, i still have to tell my family which is not goin to go down well at all as they dnt like my ex cos he was an arse when we were together, i can honestly say he has changed but they wont believe me!

Sorry if this is all confusing..i jus needed to write this down!! xx

 

[Mummi2b]

jesus christ girl it is alot of drama at least um your ex is their for you


Good luck with everything, if you need to chat you know where i am

xxxx

 

[xarlenex]

Well from your ex's point of view, he only slept with you once, where as you were with Jason before..so I can see where he might want a DNA test, just to be sure. He wont wanna get attached to a baby that might no be his. Seems so much to handle.

Hope your family take it better than you expect

 

[Neecee]

You poor thing! Looks like you got a right situation on your hands.

I know it's easier said than done, but try not to get too stressed over things as your emotions do affect your baby. There are some lovely ladies on BnB who are more than willing to lend a listening ear if you ever need to let off steam.

 

[nikky0907]

Give you ex some time.It's a huge shock for him...

I know when I told Nathan (my daughters dad) I was pregnant he was feeling very aprehensive and lost in all of it.
I honestly wasn't expecting much from him after his initial reaction.But he did see the scan picture and contaced me at once!
We are really good partners now when it comes to Lola-Rose.He calls me once a day to check up on her and comes by for a visit every weekend.

I know this isn't what you expected and isn't what you planned but life has it's own little paths and we can do nothing but follow it.
I think you made a really great decision of telling both of them the truth.And from what you wrote about Jason,it's best to keep the guy out of your life since he would cause you nothing but stress...

 

[mz_jackie86]

Well from your ex's point of view, he only slept with you once, where as you were with Jason before..so I can see where he might want a DNA test, just to be sure. He wont wanna get attached to a baby that might no be his. Seems so much to handle.

Hope your family take it better than you expect

I completly understand him wanting it thats why when he said give him time i said straight away ok, i saw him yest aswell but i didnt go up to him cos thats the last thing he needs, i just hope so much that he will come round in the end, i dnt expect anything atall from him and half xpected him to go ballistic when i told him,but he didnt which is why i cried lol
I think he would be a great dad tho!

Thanks for ur advice girls!!!! xxx

 

[dreams]

that's all you need to worry about is you and your baby now. You two are the only ones that are important. It was probably such a big shock to him now, especially as it was only that one time. You really have done the right thing by telling them both the truth. I hope it all works out xx

 

[Dream.A.Dream]

Glad your ex is trying to do the right thing and be there for you. When he's had chance to get his head around it he might change his mind on how he feels Hope your family take it well

 

[mz_jackie86]

So i went round to my exs last night as he wanted to talk....and god do i wish i didnt!!!
As soon as i got there he said if the baby aint mine n ur lyin then ur an idiot then he proceeded to call me a slag said im gunna be a bad mum and aload of other stuff!
He also said im only sayin he the dad cos the other guy is a wanker, like i would do that to someone!!
I let him get on with it cos i get that he is angry but he just kept goin on on on on on till i exploded i was like how can u sit there and judge me i didnt get pregnant by myself bla bla ba!
He's sayin he wants a DNA test which i said fair enough, but he aid he doesnt want his name on the birth certificate (to which i said hell no) but he will give me money every month and will see his kid but wants nothing to do with me!
I dont want his stupid money i have my own ive already got everything i bloody need from my family i dnt even want anythin between me and him i just wnt him to be part of his kids life but he thinks im guna screw him over when im not!
if he decided he didnt want anythin to do with LO then i wud say fine n get on with it i wudnt take his stupid money cos i dnt want it!
I think i actually hate him!
I Let him say all the bad shit to me at first cos i knew he was angry but now ive had enough! I now for a fact im guna be a good mother!
What pissed me off even more is he brought up that he had bin talkin to a girl who he cheated on me with sayin he had bin speakin to her about it and how she is a better person than me she has more life experiences than me and that really has pissed me off!

As of now ive had enough if he wants to talk to me he can be bloody respectful i am not dealing with his stupid shit!!!GRRRR IM SO ANGRY!!

This is stressin me out so much, i bloody collapsed in the bank yesterday so like i need anymore stress!! grrrr!

 

[lesleyann]

aww hun that sounds blody terrible i dont see how you kept your cool i think i would of jumped up and hit him... just dont bother trying to talk to him unless he makes the effort first hopefuly he will grow some balls and learn to respect the possible mother of his child (i say that because i got a bit lost in this topic so no disrespect to you) he sounds like his acting just like my oh's mum shes a rigth cow i almost smacked her but i decided i wont talk to her unless she says something to me first...


so good luck with everything and hope all goes well in the end

 

[nikky0907]

He is very immature! He cannot be in his child's life and simply not deal with it's mother.Thats not gonna happen,so he better treat you with some respect...

As for just decding this and that,it's not just his call.You can't allow him to be changing his mind,popping in and out of your life and causing you stress.
So he's either in or out.

I also don't understand why he doesn't want to be on the birth certificate but still wants to be a part of the babys life
If he isn't on the BC he has no parental rights whatsoever.

Maybe just simply don't contact him for a while and see if he contacts you when he calms down...wait for him to initiate a conversation between you guys.A mature conversation between two future parents,not two kids on the playground...

 

[lfc_sarah]

 

[Jemma_x]

awww hun, it sounds like you've been through so much lately. All i can really say is dont let it get to you and stress you out as much as it is because its not good for you and baby, if your ex wants something to do with the baby then if its ok with you then let him but you dont have to take his money if you dont want to. Really hope everything works out ok.

 

[trishk]

oh hun, I know this is a really hard time for you! If I was you what i would do is try and forget about him and concentrate on you and the babys health. If he sees you are not pushing it on him it might make him grow up. Then after the baby is born you can try and sort things out. (At least then you will be able to do DNA tests etc.) Dont let him bully you and put you down. It took 2 to make this baby!! Keep out of his way where possible - you dont need the stress, all of this can be sorted out later. YOu and the baby are what matters. If you ever need to talk Im here!!!

 

[mz_jackie86]

Well i deleted his number and any other way to contact him, i told ma family and they r all ok which is good!
So not goin to worry about him now i cant be bothered lol!!

Thanks for the support guys xxx