Torn on a 3rd baby..

[xSamantha]

Hey everyone!
Like the title says.. I am so torn on a third baby right now. We have two amazing little boys (3 & 1). I wouldn't trade them for the world. They are the best little boys. As far as kids are concerned, I really think we have it easy. In life I've always imagined myself as having two babies. But I have a nagging feeling that I'm just meant to have a third! From the beginning, I've wanted a little girl. And as there is no guarantee.. that STILL doesn't deter me. If I ended up with a boy.. I'd still be happy, and I'd just accept that I'm just meant to be a boy mom. I keep fighting with myself about just being happy with who we have and giving them the best life we can, but I just can't get it out of my head that something would be missing. My husband is definitely not against it, either. He isn't gung ho.. as it's a hard job in the beginning, but he isn't running for the hills on the subject. I don't know.. I just have this feeling that I'm not done.. Does anyone else feel like this?? LoL.

 

[xarlenex]

My hubby and I did after 5.5 years of saying no more we found the decision a difficult one to make but realised we'd never regret a baby, but we'd regret not trying, gave ourselves a time frame because our daughters age already and fell pregnant almost straight away!

It was difficult because the dynamics change, holidays become a bit trickier for room size, car will be a squeeze, kids are already established in schools and clubs etc.. But we just had that nagging feeling that we wanted a slightly bigger family. Good luck in your decision! Xx

 

[donnarobinson]

I have 3 boys and this is me I really really want a girl .. I would just be as happy with another boy but I’m not 100 Percent sure if I want another . X

 

[bdb84]

How do you envision your family in 10 years? Is there an extra little person, or just your family of four?

 

[WackyMumof2]

I've just had boy #4 and although I swore and declared I would NOT embark on a 5th pregnancy, I feel a pull to try once more. But things between myself and my children's father isn't 100% and we've separated because I need to focus on fixing me and my relationship with my 2 oldest children. I also want to start a career because being a Kitchen Hand barely covers the bills especially when that's only part time work at $16.50 an hour. A 40 hour week would see me bring in about $530 after tax - not close to enough if I'm paying $300 a week in rent alone. I'd also need a van (I want an El Grande) and a bigger house. But #5 isn't completely off the cards either. The kids' father still wants a little girl to call his own and although he knows it's 50/50, it's not put him off and I still want to try and give him that even if we aren't together - we are on very good terms in general. But if he decides that he doesn't want to try again in a few years, then I'm done. I don't want a baby with someone else especially if that baby is a girl. He would be happy for me but it will feel like a slap in the face with a cold fish to the kids father and I can't do that to him. Ideally, I'd like us to be back together and I think one more baby would really cement our relationship and my trials but I also accept that may never happen too.

 

[Tripltemum3]

Were still tooing and throwing over having number 4. We have triplet boys already that are 6 now and settled in school and have always wanted 4 children . ( theres no guarantee and it might not give us the little girl wed like but like you we would be happy with whichever ) xx

 

[xSamantha]

Thank you for all the replies, ladies.. it's been a busy week around here. I think I do want to give it a shot. I just don't feel like we're done. So here's hoping it happens sooner than later! ��

 

[Tripltemum3]

I said the same to my DP the other week . I just done feel ' done' . Its a wierd way to put it but im glad someone else knows what I mean! lol.

sending lots of baby dust ! xx

 

[kksy9b]

My goodness I could have written this almost verbatim! I also have two little boys. My oldest turns 4 next week and the baby is 1. I had a very rough pregnancy and scary delivery with my youngest. I really thought we would be done but almost immediately after he was born I felt like I wanted another one. My husband for all of last year said he was done and not having another baby. I started floating the idea of adoption around (which we have talked about since we were teenagers of having 2 bio and adopting a third) but he wasn't really on board. Then on Valentines Day, out of the blue, he said he's been thinking about it and agrees that he feels we are meant to have another one and would like to pursue adoption! I was completely taken back but over the moon.

I still didn't have closure though on having another biological so I talked with my doctor when I saw her a couple weeks ago for my annual. I had some health issues in my last pregnancy that I really thought would mean it would be better for me not go be pregnant again. I went into the appointment sad but also hopeful that I would leave with a clear direction on how to move forward. Instead she walked through a care plan with me in the event of another pregnancy and felt confident that we could eliminate the issues from last time (or at least control the symptoms) so now I feel more confused than ever! I would love a little girl but the idea of three little boys also sounds wonderful. Last weekend my husband asked how I would feel if we had a boy and what we would even name him. And then pulled his phone out and looked up baby names and started talking through them. So I dont know if he is 100% closed to the idea of a biological or not now either.

I really want to pursue adoption but the more research I do, the more questions and concerns I have.

There just doesn't seem to be a "best" option for us. Sigh. I think where we are is that we are in "information gathering" mode. I told DH that I want to spend the summer talking with adoption councilors about the different avenues of adoption and then make a decision in a few months.

A couple nights ago he was saying that if I dont want to be pregnant again (the last one was HARD and I definitely dont feel a pull to experience it again...i just want the baby that comes at the end lol) and I dont want to nurse again or deal with sleepless nights then why do I want another baby? And I told him that logically my head is telling me that I am content and a big part of me just wants to say we are done. But there is a nag on my heart that doesn't make any sense but that I just feel like we are meant for one more. We will see. All I know is that right now I am extremely content with where we are and we have plenty of time to figure out the next steps!

 

[babyjan]

I really don’t know what I want either! I’m not broody at all. My youngest son turned 2 yesterday and my eldest is 6. I would have liked a smaller age gap this time, maybe 3 years or so BUT I feel so scared at the thought of 3 kids! My OH wants to try right away but it’s me who’s scared of how I’m gonna handle my awful morning sickness with two kids that lasts for like 4/5 months. I’m nervous of giving birth again too :/

I’m not on BC at the moment and never have been for years but OH was working abroad for 18 months and is now back. I’m thinking to just ntnp and not think about it at all. If it happens it happens but at the same time I don’t know