So here's the situation. I must be near 5 weeks pregnant now and it was unplanned and completely unexpected. My periods have been irregular for the last few months and I've had a termination before at 17 weeks, thanks to a very slow NHS which left me feeling suicidal, which means that every time there's something wrong with my period I panic that I'm pregnant. This month on the day it was due and clearly not happening I took a spare test to stop that panic before it started, knowing how worked up I get - except I saw this time a faint positive start to appear which turned darker and darker before my eyes. I was scared, knowing it wasn't the right time, we'd have money issues and I didn't know how it would affect our relationship but I couldn't even think of the possibiliy of an abortion again. I thought my Fiance would be ok as we'd planned to have kids in the future and I remembered him telling me if I got pregnant before it was planned we'd just have to deal with it because he knew how I felt. He seemed to love the idea of kids in the future and always talked about them. I figured things would be different from how we'd planned but that didn't mean worse. We could still enjoy what is happening to us. Thing is he reacted totally differently. His feelings on the situation are that it isn't the right time, we'd have money problems, he'd work all hours, we'd never get time together and it affects our plans for the future in a way which can't be changed. His biggest fear is that he would have no feelings for the child. He doesn't think he has it in him. He already has a child he has nothing to do with and he's worried if I have it, although he'd do his best, he may freeze and leave. He really can't seem to see himself being happy as a father. He doesn't want the worry or the responsibility. He see's nothing but bad in it. I'm really terrified because I have no idea how a termination will affect me this time. Especially as I can't help but pay attention to my overwhelming instincts. Feeling dizzy, tired, having to pee lots and feeling constantly sick may not be great but it's a constant reminder of whats inside me so my mind never gets a break. 5 weeks is nothing and maybe I could deal with an early termination but knowing the NHS, it will be a long wait again and my baby will be a real baby by the time it happens, not just a ball of cells. Then again I don't want to rush because it may not be enough time to decide and maybe I will lose it naturally. All I have to hang on to is that this time around I'll have him. But then he's worried he may not be able to stay with me knowing how much he's hurt me & that I will resent him and it will change our relationship. The thing is he won't have hurt me & I won't resent him. If it really is the wrong thing for him then I'm doing the best thing for us both and as long as he's supportive of what I will be going through there is no reason to resent him. Having the baby alone is not an option. My Fiance means the world to me. We have our moments but I know he's the guy for me and I can't imagine being without him. I can't force him to become a dad and I couldn't go through with it if he said yes just to make me happy and have him resent me and the child and possibly leave later. I know that the guilt that he'd then feel in the future for doing that a second time around would most likely quietly destroy him. I don't know why but I think maybe he's wrong and because of his past he thinks he can't have any feelings but actually he could be really happy. Do guys ever feel attached to their kids right away?? Is it normal for a guy to react like this? I'm really torn. To make matters worse I think he may think it wasn't an accident so he feels I've pretty much pushed him into a corner. Any advice is greatly appreciated. I don't want to lose my baby but I can't lose my Fiance even though I'm scared that may happen anyway.