totally selfish whingy post sorry

Discussion in 'Waiting To Try' started by broody.k, Nov 17, 2011.

  1. broody.k

    broody.k Active Member

    Joined:
    Jun 21, 2011
    Messages:
    30
    Likes Received:
    0
    hi guys,

    i am sorry in advance for this post I just have to offload my brain in a sypathetic place before I explode.

    I WANT A BABY!!! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAGHHHHHHHHHHHH.

    OK feel a bit better now.

    We are WWT as my OH can't get a permament job. It breaks my heart every time he has another job interview and other no. He must have applied for 30 + teaching jobs now and had 10 interviews. Every time he gets feedback now they say we really would like to employ you, the kids loved you but... we went for someone with more expereince, the internal candidate ect ect. What breaks my heart tho is his face when he tells me. Not only is he gutted for himself and his self esteem is at rock bottom now. He also says I just want to give you a family. I am trying sooooo hard not to talk about TTC and babies with him and not to add to the pressure.
    .
    Plus I have PCOS so I have no idea if we can conceive naturally and it could take a long time and I feel time passing by. I know I should be charting and getting ready but with no idea when it may happen and the fear that charting may show its unlikely I'm ovulating and too afraid to start.

    I can't talk to my family as my mum just says start trying now as by the time it happens for you and baby is born he'll have a job which i partly agree with but OH is adement he doesn't want to TTC until he knows he can provide and I don't want to add to the pressure he is under. My friends either have babies or aren't even thinking about them.

    Its a rubbish time at the moment. OH hates supply teaching and going to different places every day and feeling unwanted. Money is tight but ok and I feel in limbo. I am just having a rubbish sad day. Sorry just had to let that all out so I can pick myself up, put a smile on my face and keep reassuring OH its ok.

    If you made it all the way down here Wow thanks for reading. sorry such a ramble

    K
     
  2. I know how you feel, but has he thought about applying for a different job, other than teaching, just to keep money coming in until he gets the job he realy wants? It means you could start trying knowing that if u can manage with a lower paid job you will be in a better situation when he gets the teaching job ?
     
  3. nlk

    nlk Pregnant! #1

    Joined:
    Sep 11, 2011
    Messages:
    2,737
    Likes Received:
    0
    i know how you feel hun. i too have pcos, and i feel like im just wasting time not ttc. my OH gives reason after reason as to why we should push it back just a bit, but i feel like im wasting potential ttc time! the sooner the better for me, because i know that we could make it work, and would be in a damnsight better place than some of the people with kids i know....

    i agree with what sarah said...can your OH not apply for a job other than teaching? he can then continue to look for a teaching post, but at least he will have something in the meantime...have you told him how your pcos makes you feel? i think its hard for guys to realise, because we're naturally more broody than they are anyways, and physically feeling time tick away is very difficult to deal with. even if its a difficult conversation, its well worth a try, if it can allow you both to reach a mutual point.

    good luck with everything xx
     
  4. everdreaming

    everdreaming Guest

    :hugs: I know how you feel, getting teaching jobs is a nightmare and my Dad has been really struggling to get one lately as well.

    I was terrified of starting charting, I've got PCO and they're refusing to test for PCOS and my gynaecologist told me I might not ovulate. But my fertilityfriend chart thinks I might've ovulated this month! Although it's worrying if you don't ovulate, a lot of people without PCOS can have annovulatory months and there is still a chance you do ovulate. If nothing else it means that when you are ready to make the move to TTC you are able to go straight to your Dr with proof that you do/don't/rarely ovulate and can get the ball rolling onto getting appropriate treatment rather than waiting for years then having to TTC actively for another year or two before they agree to help you :hugs:
     
  5. Beccaboop

    Beccaboop Mummy to Jacob

    Joined:
    Jun 13, 2011
    Messages:
    4,019
    Likes Received:
    0
    I know how you feel!! I've got less than 3 months left to wait but it's actually getting harder to wait as it gets close I was hoping it would get easier the closer it got!!

    :hug:
     
  6. broody.k

    broody.k Active Member

    Joined:
    Jun 21, 2011
    Messages:
    30
    Likes Received:
    0
    Arrh thanks guys I feel so much less desperate than I did this morning. I'm on my phone at work so can't say much. He is now thinking about applying for other jobs and in fact just sent me a txt saying he applied for a job with kids with learning disabilities. I think your right I need to stop avoiding and take control. I'll start tracking, getting my body ready and evidence for Gp. And I'm off this weekend and have time with oh so will try and have a chat. As scary as that is.

    I'll keep you posted and post longer when I'm on my computer. Thank you and hugs Xx
     
  7. I Love Lucy

    I Love Lucy DS and DD

    Joined:
    Jun 28, 2011
    Messages:
    7,588
    Likes Received:
    0
    I'm not really in the same situation but I know how it feels having everything depending on situations that aren't really in control. Whether OH and I get to TTC next year depends on if we're able to find a house to move into and still financially able to afford it. I want to look forward to TTC but it's hard because it may not happen. I hope everything works out for you! I think your OH is being very responsible by trying to make sure he can definitely provide for you and a baby before TTC.
     
  8. mlr3475080

    mlr3475080 Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Nov 9, 2010
    Messages:
    133
    Likes Received:
    0
    Oh my gosh, I feel so terrible..here I am complaining and your in such a terrible position. Keep your head up love~ Everything happens for a reason :) Stay Strong
     
  9. sassykay

    sassykay Cautiously pregnant

    Joined:
    Aug 17, 2011
    Messages:
    77
    Likes Received:
    0
    You don't sound whingy, you sound like everyone else on here who is putting their own feelings last and thinking about the bigger picture. Most of the really good things in life come after a wait, and are hard to get or painful to make happen. Most of the things that aren't don't matter.

    You know all that. But I just wanted to say you're not alone, and keep your chin up. Time passes. Good things do happen. :hugs::hugs:
     
  10. Dimples81

    Dimples81 Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Aug 23, 2011
    Messages:
    993
    Likes Received:
    5
    im in the same place as you guys, finished my teacher training this july just gone, can't get a job...can't try. I'm not certain im ovulating and PCOS has been mentioned to me too, but im refusing to believe it. x
     
  11. broody.k

    broody.k Active Member

    Joined:
    Jun 21, 2011
    Messages:
    30
    Likes Received:
    0
    I Love Lucy- your right I'm very lucky to have my oh. He is a rather fab man.
    Mlr- you have every right to complain, whatever our situation or reasons WWT is tough.
    Sassykay- thank you I always worry about posting about me but its helped so much. And your right. The things you work for, or wait for are so much sweeter in the end. What ever the out come I'm a lucky girl in a lot of ways to have a great hubby and ppl around me.
    Dimples 81- I'm so sorry you are also in limbo. This climate makes job hunting so tough. It must be so frustrating having worked so hard to qualify to not use it. If it is pcos you have im sorry and I can understand the denial but it may be easier to know what your up against and its not a disaster if you are. Feel free to PM me if you want to talk about it.

    Thank you ladies. Whilst I wouldn't want any one else to suffer we are all doing our best for the future and our family and its so nice to be supported in the UPS and downs by lovely and understand.
     
  12. Dimples81

    Dimples81 Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Aug 23, 2011
    Messages:
    993
    Likes Received:
    5
    no im not really in denial, i just don't beleive i have it coz the only things that i can see that link me to it are the fact my periods can be all over the place and im not ovulating for definate - i can usually link that to stress factors though rather than PCOS tho. Yes im overweight but i think that is to do with diet. I have a little excess facial hair but i come from a hairy family. I prefer to think it is a big set of coincidences rather than PCOS really. I guess i will find out furthur down the line when we are in a position to try as we already know we may struggle due to physical stuff on both sides. They won;t take me seriously for awhile yet anyway. x
     
  13. buttons1

    buttons1 Mummy to 2 gorgeous girls

    Joined:
    May 5, 2009
    Messages:
    5,642
    Likes Received:
    0
    It is very hard to get a perm teaching jobs these days. I think it is def a good idea to try to get another job in the meantime there are loads of things he could do still working with kids and it would give him that vital extra experience of working with children in different environments.

    Good luck to you both
     
  14. Annie77

    Annie77 Cautiously expecting

    Joined:
    Sep 22, 2011
    Messages:
    1,881
    Likes Received:
    0
    I really believe in 'what is for you won't go past you'. I do kind of agree with your mum, if you start trying now then who knows what may happen with oh's job by the time you fall pregnant.
     
  15. chaofellfan

    chaofellfan Guest

    I'm off this weekend and have time with oh so will try and have a chat. As scary as that is.
     

Share This Page

  1. This site uses cookies to help personalise content, tailor your experience and to keep you logged in if you register.
    By continuing to use this site, you are consenting to our use of cookies.
    Dismiss Notice