Trouble grieving after 2nd miscarriage

Discussion in 'Miscarriage Support' started by EmmyDee8, Apr 8, 2019.

  1. EmmyDee8

    EmmyDee8 Member

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    Hi all,
    I didn’t think I wouldn’t seek out some advice but I am having some mental troubles regarding my last miscarriage. I have frequently looked at pages like these where I can relate to other women’s stories so I won’t feel so alone.
    My husband and I had our first unplanned pregnancy and miscarriage in 2016 very early on. I was upset even though we both weren’t expecting it and it passed so quick. We decided to start trying to conceive in 2018 and I got pregnant within three months. We were both very excited about it and bursting to tell our families, however, because of the last miscarriage we were going to wait until the second trimester to tell anyone. It was so exciting when we got to see the heart beat at 8 weeks and we seemed so happy and the timing was great! At our 12 week appointment we discovered there was no heartbeat and we were crushed looking at the screen from the ultrasound and having the nurse explain the fetus stopped developing at 8weeks, likely after we had seen the heartbeat for the first time. There were no symptoms.
    This was at the end of January 2019. I had a d&c the week we found out and had much bleeding and clotting which was distressful, but I am grateful for the procedure. I continued to have blood work done every week until my hcg levels returned to below 5. I am finally at that point this past week.
    I thought I was feeling better but realize the first month after our loss I was very obsessive about having children. I started feeling a bit normal and on track. Today my boss told all of us coworkers she’s having a baby. For some reason it really hit home. She’s due 2 months after my said due date. It just made me have a bout of self-pity: “why’d this have to happen to me?” Even though I should be happy for her and I am, but it reminds me of being pregnant so recent. I am feeling sad again and it doesn’t help that my husband and I haven’t been as close since everything. We both have had grief and I know I can get angry at times about the situation. These feelings make me feel like a bad person.
    Has anyone had some prolonged sadness after miscarriage? I didn’t think it would have impacted me this much.
    Does anyone have success stories after a couple miscarriages? My doctor says they don’t do any testing until you have up to three miscarriages.
    Anyways, much love to all!
     
  2. OnErth&InHvn

    OnErth&InHvn Waiting.

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    My loss was in 2009 and I still get sad and mad when someone is pregnant. I havent been pregnant since due to cancer and infertility. Hoping soon enough!
     
  3. LaLa33469

    LaLa33469 New Member

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    My loss was today my 1st pregnancy and 1 miscarriage I want to give up because of my age but I am not we will be mother soon.
     
  4. EmmyDee8

    EmmyDee8 Member

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    You’re in my thoughts and I admire your strength x <3
     
  5. EmmyDee8

    EmmyDee8 Member

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    Thank you for sharing <3
     
  6. Karissa Neal

    Karissa Neal Well-Known Member

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    Hey hun, same situation here.. I found out I was pregnant March 18th and miscarried the very next day.. I was heartbroken even tho I was so early in my pregnancy..recently a friend of ours said his gf was expecting and due a few days after our supposed to be do date.. they were only dating for a month and she’s having a healthy pregnancy.. I can’t help but get so jealous when they talk about it. The other day me and hubby were at the store and he was looking at baby stuff to buy them and we both got emotional and just left.. it hurts. I know exactly how you feel .. don’t feel bad about it.
     
  7. EmmyDee8

    EmmyDee8 Member

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    Thank you so much for your reply. It really helps hearing others experience and get through all these emotions and tough times. I’m sorry for your loss and hope for happier times soon for the both of us x
     
  8. Scout

    Scout Well-Known Member

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    With my first miscarriage, I really didn't feel okay until the baby's due date passed. Up until then, I really couldn't look at a pregnant woman without feeling like I needed to cry. I couldn't go past baby items without feeling the same way. It eventually got better. My 2nd and 3rd miscarriages were easier for me for some reason.
     
  9. EmmyDee8

    EmmyDee8 Member

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    Thank you for your feedback. I’m hoping things will get better soon and I hope I won’t have to go through this again but there’s not a real way to control these things. The due date was July 25 and I expect it could be a rough/sad day. I’m sorry for your losses <3
     

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