TTC 18mths, dreading 2nd FS appointment

[Tigger_lass]

Hi

My DH and me have been ttc for 18mths with no success. I'm 39 and he's 34 and we were referred by my GP to a specialist as I was concerned my age could be a factor. I went to the first appointment on 1st June on my own and came out feeling like I was some sort of freak, all due to the attitude of the nurse specialist who runs the clinic. She made me feel like I had no right to even try and definitely no chance of getting pregnant due to my weight. She made me feel like I was worthless...just what I needed 5 weeks before my wedding!

All the blood tests done were very positive and showed that I was ovulating without any help, and my DH's SA was also good. We got a letter from the nurse specialist basically saying that they would see us again after ttc for 18mths and that an appointment was scheduled for 1st Feb 2011. She also said that they would look at what else needed done but that my weight would prevent any procedures being attempted or being successful!

So...8 months later, we're still TTC and I'm absolutely dreading going back to the clinic. I've tried to lose weight and have lost some weight and put it back on again etc. Overall I've only lost a stone and I know the nurse is really going to love that!

Has anyone got experience of FS procedures being done when weight was an issue? Have we any chance at all? I am so tired of hoping and praying every month with no success.

I've never had an issue with my weight/size, my DH met and married me like this but I've started to hate myself so much. This doesnt help though as it only makes me comfort eat and then virtually starve myself to compensate. I am crying all the time and just cant take any more.

 

[Lisa1]

Aww tigerlass xx I've my second appoinent in April oh having his sa tomorrow. I want to go smack that cheeky nurse

hope your appointment goes well and somebody helps with this question xx

bump

 

[pinkflamingo]

i was told to lose weight at my first FS appointment, and was dreading going back last week as have not lost any. I did fall pregnant inbetween and lost the baby, but they did not know this. Anyway as it turned out they didn't even take my weight this time!

Hubby got his SA results which were not very good so he has to redo that. Am hoping the bad results were due to his epilepsy meds which he has changed since last test so we will see.

Explain that you have been trying to lose the weight hun. I have PCOS which makes losing weight difficult and is why I was prescribed metformin, but had to stop taking it when i got my BFP. Will be back on that in next few weeks.

Long term TTC makes you criticise everything, but try not to let it make you conscious about your body image hun. Well done on losing the stone you have lost.

Good luck x

 

[imogenwanted]

this sound like me i went to consultant privately he told me to go away and loss 2 stone this took me ages with it going on and off i finally went back on nhs some consultant but say his nurse she said well done but you have to lose anther stone i was so upset i had trryed so hard to loss that much, that was last september since then i put back on all the weight and know have to loss another 2 stone befor i ca go back and she will not give me clomid untill my bmi is 35. but at least your ovulating on your own

just say you have been trying to lose weight and if ther say loss more say you want them to help you loss it , slimming world vouches or zenical or something. good luck xx

 

[Tarkwa]

Hey tigger! Welcome to the club. I'm overweight/obese (BMI now 31.6, down from 38) and have struggled with the FS and clinic. I've been told to go away and only come back after I've lost some weight twice. One FS said that if I was 'committed' I'd lose the weight - I'll show him! Though I never want to see him again!!!! Can I ask what your BMI is? My clinic said it had to be under 30, ideally 28 to get IVF or other treatments, so that's my goal. I've never been THAT unhappy with my size though. I had times when my clothes wouldn't fit and I had nothing to wear as we all do! I've always been curvy and proud of it, but do feel a lot better having lost 21lb since quitting my awful job in the summer. Slowly but surely - I'm hoping it stays off .

You need to sort out an eating plan. You can't starve yourself as it has the opposite effect; your metabolism slows down, trying to reserve and store fat in case your body needs it later!!! And you should treat yourself - especially when you've done really well. If I told the ladies what I eat they would all wonder how I'm losing weight I'm sure . I've had 4 cubes of wholenut, a choccy mousse and waffles with real butter on them and that's just today. I try and eat small amounts of yummy food (takes a while to get used to smaller portions!) and don't punish myself for an off-day. I will go to the gym tomorrow (was meant to go Sat, then Sun, and with DH yesterday ) - that really helps, especially when there's a good song playing.

You should join us on Bellys to Bumps (see siggie) - there's a really lovely crowd on there, all supporting each other on our journey's . See you there!
xxx

 

[Traskey]

Hi Tigger, I read your post to my DH and he said, "If they say that to you Thursday, i'm going to say something back!". He's very protective bless him. He has always known me as a size 20-22 and loves me as I am but he knows I am very worried about what they will say when we go to see the FS.

We are seeing a specialist fertility nurse too and I am seriously hoping she is more considerate than the one you had to deal with! I am sending you lots of I am 39 in Feb too, so I know how "against the clock" you can feel.

 

[manchester1]

well id seriously consider changing nurses if possible.
ive never seen a fertility nurse as we saw the consultant privately and he said its a good idea to lose weight, but weight wont be the reason why your not falling pregnant!

i hope it works out for you, and dont be nervous to see the nurse again!

 

[ashleyalw]

I have been told too that I need to lose weight. And there is no doubt about it that I do but I switched doctors and my new doctor is so amazing! She is like a size 4 and has never made me feel bad about my wieght or that it will impact me getting pregnant again. Having a doctor that understands you makes the ttc journey so much easier. So I know it is easier said than done but if they make you feel bad at next appointment I would find a new specialist. Overweight women and older women have babies all the time. Dont give up! My aunt had a baby at 45 and she was almost 300lbs. I had a baby at 260lbs it can be done.

 

[Traskey]

I had my FS appointment today and I can tell you that the PCT set a limit of a BMI of 30 if you need assisted conception (IVF etc). If you have the time to lose the weight then you won't have a problem. If you can't get your BMI under 30 then you have the option to go privately (as they don't usually have a BMI condition). Keep though as you can still conceive naturally being a larger size.

 

[Tigger_lass]

Well appointment is tomorrow....will let you all know how i get on xx

 

[Traskey]

I hope your appointment went well today, that you got some answers or a way forward