TTC #2... 9 years after my first

[Niksmommy]

So I have finally decided to have another baby. I never was 100% sure until now. My oldest son just turned 9 so he will be nearly 10 years older than #2. I have a sister who is 12 years younger than me and honestly I feel more like a motherly figure towards her than I do a sister. I guess my question is do any of you have such large gaps between children?

Also, my bf has a daughter that is 3 1/2 so it's more like we have a 9 & 3 1/2 now trying for #3...so maybe the gap isn't all that bad. ugh idk.

 

[Smille24]

My daughter is 5 going on 6 and we're ttc #2. I had her at a young age and until recently, wasn't ready for another. There will be a 6, possibly 7 yr age difference but that's just the way it is. I would've loved to give her a sibling sooner but our circumstances didn't allow it. I'm afraid at this point she won't be happy being an older sister. We've talked about it with her and she says she has a puppy who she considers her brother and if she has another brother she'll sell it and if it's a girl we can keep it lol. I'm sure things will be ok.

 

[Niksmommy]

Sell it? lol so cute.

My son has always told me how much he wants a brother, he's never mentioned a sister tho lol. I think he will be really open to a baby plus he loves my bf. I just wonder what type of bond they will have being at such different stages of life all the time...

 

[Destiny08]

It looks like I'll have a large age gap between my kids. my daughter will be 4 years and 4 months old if i get pregnant right now lol and i've been trying 2 years already. so thats unlikely.

I'm also from a family where there was a small age gap, and a large age gap. i have a brother 18 months older than me. we don't talk. i have another brother 8 years younger than me, and a sister 10 years younger than me. the relationship i have with them is very motherly, but to be fair, i left the country when they were 9 and 11 so the relationship didnt really progress further than that.

however! i have a much better relationship with my younger siblings than i do with my older one. thats not to say its the age gap that did it. personally i think its more about your personality, how you are raised and how you're taught to act with your siblings than anything else.

for example. my family was abusive. and by the time i was 6, my older brother was hitting and strangling me. however by the time my younger brother was born, my father was working overseas and visiting twice a year, and my mother had depression, was working and wasnt very involved, so i stepped in to raise my siblings. so i dislike my older brother and am very motherly to my younger ones.

i think in a loving family, age gap means very little even 10 years. as kids they probably wont be overly close. but by the time your older son is 20, your younger child will be 10 and will know he/she will always have an older brother to protect him/her. then when they're 25 and 35, the younger will have an older sibling to look up to, and get advice from. and at that age, 10 years seems small.

 

[Smille24]

I don't know why she thinks she can sell her sibling lol. I think my daughter will be an awesome sister and very nurturing as she is with babies. I want to include her as much as possible so she feels important bc it will be a big adjustment.

Niksmommy- I think your son will be a great big brother, especially if he really wants to be one. I'm sure he will be helpful and protective. I don't think you have anything to worry about.

Destiny- I am very sorry about what your older brother did to you. I agree with you, it is all about how they are raised. I was always worried about an age gap but now I realize that it doesn't matter.

 

[Vicky_92]

My daughter is 5 going on 6 and we're ttc #2. I had her at a young age and until recently, wasn't ready for another. There will be a 6, possibly 7 yr age difference but that's just the way it is. I would've loved to give her a sibling sooner but our circumstances didn't allow it. I'm afraid at this point she won't be happy being an older sister. We've talked about it with her and she says she has a puppy who she considers her brother and if she has another brother she'll sell it and if it's a girl we can keep it lol. I'm sure things will be ok.

Hey


I have so many things in common with your post. I'm ttc #2, my son is 7 and I also had him very young. I thought I'd never have another one again, but now I'm ready. My son says he wants a brother and a brother and only. And if he gets a sister he says he's going to 'send her back and get a boy' lol.

How long have you ttc for?

 

[Smille24]

My daughter is 5 going on 6 and we're ttc #2. I had her at a young age and until recently, wasn't ready for another. There will be a 6, possibly 7 yr age difference but that's just the way it is. I would've loved to give her a sibling sooner but our circumstances didn't allow it. I'm afraid at this point she won't be happy being an older sister. We've talked about it with her and she says she has a puppy who she considers her brother and if she has another brother she'll sell it and if it's a girl we can keep it lol. I'm sure things will be ok.

Hey


I have so many things in common with your post. I'm ttc #2, my son is 7 and I also had him very young. I thought I'd never have another one again, but now I'm ready. My son says he wants a brother and a brother and only. And if he gets a sister he says he's going to 'send her back and get a boy' lol.

How long have you ttc for?

That is so funny. We were ntnp for over a year without success. My cycles were a mess from being on bc for so long so what was the point in stressing ourselves out. Now I'm back to normal. This is our 2nd cycle ttc. How long have you been ttc?

 

[Vicky_92]

This is my first cycle after the mirena so I have no idea what my cycles are going to be like. And I'm already going to drive myself crazy, I want to be pregnant now haha

 

[robinsonmom]

I am so happy I found this thread. I am ttc #2 this month my DS is 7 but she will be 8 this year I had her young. so I will possibly have a 8 or 9 yr gap. It makes me very nervous. I know she will be a good sister but I am afraid by the time she is junior high she will be very distant and not want to be bothered with a toddler. This wasn't in the plan but it is what it is.

 

[Vicky_92]

I am so happy I found this thread. I am ttc #2 this month my DS is 7 but she will be 8 this year I had her young. so I will possibly have a 8 or 9 yr gap. It makes me very nervous. I know she will be a good sister but I am afraid by the time she is junior high she will be very distant and not want to be bothered with a toddler. This wasn't in the plan but it is what it is.

Hey . I'm the exact same, my son only turned 7 last month tho. I'm not too sure about mine being a good big brother he doesn't seem to have any interest in friends babies etc, but hey only time will tell. I'm worried about family days out and things with such a big age gap, finding things to do that both will enjoy. I'm not even pregnant yet and I'm already over thinking haha.

 

[Smille24]

They may suprise you. Yesterday my DD was reading a book for school called 'I want' and after she said she wants a baby sister and brother. She doesn't care which one at this point. I feel bad, we're trying the best we can. I just tell her I understand.

 

[Mom2sam]

Hi my ds just turned 8 last month & i'm on cycle #2 ttc for my second. I did get pregnant just over a year ago but ended in mmc. After that tried for 4-5 cycles last year but nothing happened then had to go back on pill as had to have surgery (not ttc related) and once all that was healed & i was given the green light i came off bc pill & this is second cycle ttc
I suffer from hyperemesis gravadium in pregnancy that was initial reason for at least a 3/4 year gap then things kept happening that i had to put ttc on hold. Dad got cancer & passed away so i had to be there for him & not in hospital with HG.
Anyway then got pregnant when ds turned 6 & lost that one so here i am & now think the gap just kept getting bigger & as much as i would have liked a smaller gap sometimes it cant be helped.

Now just hope it happens soon & i can at least give him a sibling. He'l make a great big brother & they'l be close i'm hoping regardless of age.

 

[Smille24]

Hi my ds just turned 8 last month & i'm on cycle #2 ttc for my second. I did get pregnant just over a year ago but ended in mmc. After that tried for 4-5 cycles last year but nothing happened then had to go back on pill as had to have surgery (not ttc related) and once all that was healed & i was given the green light i came off bc pill & this is second cycle ttc
I suffer from hyperemesis gravadium in pregnancy that was initial reason for at least a 3/4 year gap then things kept happening that i had to put ttc on hold. Dad got cancer & passed away so i had to be there for him & not in hospital with HG.
Anyway then got pregnant when ds turned 6 & lost that one so here i am & now think the gap just kept getting bigger & as much as i would have liked a smaller gap sometimes it cant be helped.

Now just hope it happens soon & i can at least give him a sibling. He'l make a great big brother & they'l be close i'm hoping regardless of age.

I am really sorry for all that you have been through. Lots of baby to you.

 

[Mom2sam]

Aww smile mine drew a pic for his homework they had to draw a pic of thier family. He drew his dad, me, our cat & a baby brother. Broke my heart he said 'i'm the only one in my class who doesn't have any brothers/sisters & i drew my baby brother who is in heaven because i know he will be coming back soon.'

 

[Vicky_92]

Aww smile mine drew a pic for his homework they had to draw a pic of thier family. He drew his dad, me, our cat & a baby brother. Broke my heart he said 'i'm the only one in my class who doesn't have any brothers/sisters & i drew my baby brother who is in heaven because i know he will be coming back soon.'

I'm so sorry for your loss. My son says the same type of things about not having a brother or sister. I was an only child and hated it. But I had my son at 15 and definitely didn't want to put myself through it again at a young age. Now I'm settled have a house, a job and a perfect partner, so now it's time

 

[Smille24]

Aww smile mine drew a pic for his homework they had to draw a pic of thier family. He drew his dad, me, our cat & a baby brother. Broke my heart he said 'i'm the only one in my class who doesn't have any brothers/sisters & i drew my baby brother who is in heaven because i know he will be coming back soon.'

That is so adorable. Your son sounds very loving.

 

[robinsonmom]

Vicky I know what you mean. It would be like starting over for my husband and I. They arent going to be into the same things so its going to be like having a single child all over again. But I can say I am excited I will have a helper. Lol.

 

[Vicky_92]

Vicky I know what you mean. It would be like starting over for my husband and I. They arent going to be into the same things so its going to be like having a single child all over again. But I can say I am excited I will have a helper. Lol.

Im so so so so excited , but nervous about my sons reaction :/